Do you or people you know get stuck “winning” arguments only to find they’ve annoyed or alienated people around them? It’s hard to do anything about it because when people aren’t arguing they tend to feel they don’t do it — that only others do. And when they are arguing they’re often least open to exiting argument mode into self-reflection mode. A scene in The Big Lebowski that illustrates the[…] Keep reading →

People use too much lingo. What do I mean by too much? I mean it when big or out-of-context words confuse more than illuminate or create meaning. Everybody knows it, we still do it more than we mean to. I’m going to examine the issue from a few perspectives. Having a background in science I see a lot of scientific sounding language where it seems people use it more to[…] Keep reading →

One of the great lessons I learned from my father was that when people talk about how they spend their time, they’re talking about priorities. As he put it, “When people say they don’t have time to do something, they mean they prioritized something else higher. People have time to do anything. The question is if what they put aside to do something.” Internalized over the years, the perspective seems[…] Keep reading →

I have a friend who says he can voluntarily let go of emotions he doesn’t want to hold on to anymore. I’ve let go of many things, but never in the moment from conscious intent. He sounds sincere, but frankly I doubt him. Like telling an angry person to calm down, suggesting someone let go of something is counterproductive advice. Trying to let go of something voluntarily focuses your mind[…] Keep reading →

What creates value? Do things have inherent value? Many parts of society value gold, money, status, and so on. But if you’re hungry enough, those things will lose their value relative to a modest apple. On the other hand, if your material needs are covered, a simple apple loses its value. Water and oxygen are necessary for life, but since they are nearly freely available at least to individuals reading[…] Keep reading →

Many people are quick to say they don’t judge. People seem to value not judging others. Come to think of it, I do. People all too commonly say they aren’t judgmental when someone else is judgmental about something they aren’t. For example, when one person says “Americans are too fat,” the other may say “Don’t be so judgmental” or, more mildly, “I’m not so judgmental.” It’s all too common because[…] Keep reading →

Some people like to give advice. Maybe everyone does, despite knowing how annoying it can be. Sometimes we think we can help so much or don’t think of the other person’s perspective enough that it feels worth it. We’re all used to our thoughts preparing the advice: hoping to avoid stepping on toes, to avoid insulting, and so on. The other person’s annoyance is often justified. That is, our advice[…] Keep reading →

Jet lag knocks off more than just your sleep cycles. Since I’ve been jet lagged the past few days I’ve had the chance to notice. Your body temperature is higher during the day and lower at night. When you’re jet lagged, you’ll find yourself lying in bed trying to sleep when your body temperature is high. Everyone I’ve asked about it has remarked that, yes, when they’re jet lagged they[…] Keep reading →

[This post is part of a series on turning rejections into motivation. If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] Despite ourselves, accepting things can demotivate as much as rejections can motivate us. Physics, at its core, has always meant to me studying the most basic elements of our environment: space,[…] Keep reading →