Communication skills exercises, part VII: building blocks and tips

[This post is part of a series on Communication Skills Exercises for Business and Life. If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] The previous exercises work fine on their own. You can further use them as building blocks to create whole conversations that are intriguing, interactive, mutually satisfying. Here are some tips to use them together. Keep topics open by not closing all before starting new one Going from topic to topic by ending each one before starting the next results in lulls from which is can be difficult to restart the conversation. If you're having a great conversation with someone at a company you'd…

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Communication skills exercises, part VI: feedforward

[This post is part of a series on Communication Skills Exercises for Business and Life. If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] Do you wish you could get the best advice for you, tailored perfectly to you, at the time you wanted it? This exercise gives you that, in a conversational way that helps build relationships too. The technique, called feedforward, comes from Marshall Goldsmith -- master author, executive coach, and happy, friendly guy. My advice is when his advice applies, use it. His two most recent books, Mojo and What Got You Here Won't Get You There, were best sellers. He was ranked the…

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Communication skills exercises, part V: Meaningful connection

[This post is part of a series on Communication Skills Exercises for Business and Life. If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] UPDATE: See my February 2016 webinar video on the Meaningful Connection exercise. It goes into more depth. Have you noticed how some people, when they meet someone, draw the other person in, creating a great, meaningful conversation right off the bat? Do you wish you could? How much more valuable is a connection when the other person wants to follow up with you and appreciates you talking to them? How much more likely will you be to get a job offer, date, or…

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Communication skills exercises, part IV: Storytelling

[This post is part of a series on Communication Skills Exercises for Business and Life. If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] Storytelling is a fundamental element of human communication. Tell someone what you did the other day and they may end up bored. Tell them a story well and they'll hang on your every word. What makes the difference? This exercise teaches the structure of a story -- how to generate interest to hook the listener, then how to generate tension to hold them. Storytelling is an art. I'm not a master storyteller, but I've improved by learning structure. This exercise compiles exercises from…

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Communication skills exercises, part III: Conversation hopping

[This post is part of a series on Communication Skills Exercises for Business and Life. If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] Do you ever start a conversation you want to talk to, then run out of things to say? This exercise will help. I adapted it from my friend Sebastian. When you do the exercise with someone who doesn't know you are doing it, they rarely sense you're doing anything other than conversing as usual. The exercise doesn't mimic a whole genuine conversation, just part of one, but you can use it in any conversation to continue a meandering conversation or jump start one…

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Communication skills exercises, part II: Body language

[This post is part of a series on Communication Skills Exercises for Business and Life. If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] I love starting seminars with this exercise. It's simple and interactive. It gets people's blood flowing and meeting their neighbors. It works best in a group, but you can apply it on your own. The principles The principle is that your body language -- your position, motion, posture, etc -- influences your emotions and those of people around you. Likewise theirs influence yours. Since your emotions motivate you, changing your body language change what you and people in your environment do. Awareness of…

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Communication skills exercises, part I

[This post is part of a series on Communication Skills Exercises for Business and Life. If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] I wasn't born with great communication skills. I don't think I had great problems with communication, but I was behind the curve in many areas. As I learned to appreciate and value emotions and relationships, I worked on improving my social skills. People now sometimes compliment me on what I have today, so I believe anyone can develop great social skills. One seminar I give, sometimes in a series, is on communication and social skills for business, social, and any other interactions. It's…

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Rock Star Dream
Continued Fraction

Rock Star Dream

With my ability to announce my posts blocked by the Chinese government, now's my chance to indulge in a selfish post without destroying my modesty, since fewer people will find out about it. A few months ago I had the most amazing dream. It even impressed me. Somehow I dreamt about this: It's called a continued fraction. I know I'd seen the fraction before. I don't remember if anyone showed me how to solve it. I know I hadn't seen anything about it in years, maybe over a decade. The mildly rock star thing in my dream was that I realized how to solve it. I'm impressed I remembered it at all. I have no idea how my mind came to be thinking about it.…

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The most common route to CEO

"What is the best route to become CEO of a corporation?" For people driven to reach the top it's a common question. A classmate asked it of Ralph Biggadike, professor of Top Management Processes, which, when I was at Columbia Business School, was the class in highest demand. Ralph is an excellent teacher, as knowledgeable about top management as you'd expect one of the top professors at one of the top business schools to be. I expect most of the students in the class were driven to reach the tops of their planned professions. As I recall, most of the class listened intently to the answer. It may be worth thinking about yourself, even if you aren't driven to reach the top. What functional role…

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More thoughts on motions, values, children, and school

Yesterday I posted on making four-year-olds sing that they love something, accepting it was probably a tempest in a teacup. I also noted similar incidents may contribute to reinforcing what seems to me telling children what to think and feel. The incident reminded me of Woodie Guthrie's writing "This Land Is Your Land" as a response to hearing "God Bless America" over and over in the late 30s, implying these songs are political. I came across an August 2008 incident in which the Yankees and the New York Police Department were forced to pay restitution for kicking a man out of Yankee Stadium for not toeing the line on singing "God Bless America," apparently against the law. The Yankees had to state they had no…

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Emotions, values, children, and school

At my niece's kindergarten graduation Friday the entire graduating class of four-and-five-year-olds sang a song with a chorus "I love America." The song was light-hearted and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. As a thoughtful person, I couldn't help think about what having a whole class sing the song meant. I enjoy playing with ideas and what better time to ponder education than at a graduation? I'll be the first to say the following is a tempest in a teacup. The interaction wasn't that big a deal, but this blog is about values and emotions, with the guiding principle that the better we understand them, especially our own, the better our lives will be. Why not examine them in simple cases so that we know them…

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A review of my seminars

Lillian Chan is an independent film producer and friend who has attended and recorded a couple of my seminars and now my gallery opening. She wrote a few paragraphs reviewing the seminars.

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Leadership seminar at New York Academy of Sciences posted

The leadership development seminar I led in April at the New York Academy of Sciences has been posted as an e-briefing. Now you can see me speak where Einstein and Darwin did, or at least they were members. You have to be a member to see the video, but the academy has great events. I recommend joining. You do love science, don't you? Here's the overview of the e-briefing: Overview Leadership coach, entrepreneur, and former physicist Joshua Spodek spoke from a scientist's and entrepreneur's perspective on developing personal leadership skills. The two-day, eight-hour interactive seminar took place April 5 and 7, 2011 at the New York Academy of Sciences and was designed to provide a foundation for the continued development of skills of personal leadership,…

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Leadership and personal development and school

In my seminar yesterday I mentioned "plays well with others" may be one of the most valuable skills in adulthood for team-based activities. Yet we treat it as a joke for children, or at best a euphemism implying the student in question doesn't do well academically. Have you ever learned something amazing while developing yourself as a leader or person and wondered why leadership and personal development isn't taught in school? School taught me valuable things like math, science, history, and so on. It vaguely addressed things like physical fitness. What didn't school teach? When I lead seminars on self-awareness, emotional intelligence, personal development, leadership development, and such, we cover things like how to motivate yourself and others, how to raise awareness of your emotions…

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Parsons student linear zoetrope videos

Here are videos of the final non-digital linear zoetropes made by the students in Parsons Submedia collaboration studio in the spring of 2011. The students are superstars. The students' next step will be the display in Union Square, so stay tuned. I took all the videos with my low quality camera phone. More videos are at the course blog. First the grand tour of all the zoetropes in the Arts, Media, and Technology department -- i.e., the tenth floor. https://joshuaspodek.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/grand_tour_tenth_floor_zoetropes.avi The linear zoetropes downstairs facing Fifth Avenue and 13th Street at night. https://joshuaspodek.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/5th_and_13th_night.avi The linear zoetropes downstairs facing Fifth Avenue and 13th Street during the daytime. https://joshuaspodek.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/5th_and_13th_day.avi linear zoetropes that were downstairs back upstairs.   Group 1's linear zoetrope -- the Unicorn.   Group 2's…

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Observations on Flow, part II: two improvements
Emotional state resulting from level of challenge and skill

Observations on Flow, part II: two improvements

Following yesterday's primer on flow, here are two simple ideas to bring more flow. If you've read only Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi's book, they may be new. The Wikipedia page on flow but not Csikszentmihalyi's book covers the first. The second is new, as far as I know, though small. Recall the ten conditions of the flow state (from Wikipedia, citing Csikszentmihalyi articles): Clear goals (expectations and rules are discernible and goals are attainable and align appropriately with one’s skill set and abilities). Moreover, the challenge level and skill level should both be high. Concentrating, a high degree of concentration on a limited field of attention (a person engaged in the activity will have the opportunity to focus and to delve deeply into it). A loss of…

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Observations on Flow, part I

Do you remember the last time you felt like this musician? You are in an ecstatic state to such a point that you feel as if you almost don't exist. I have experienced this time and again. My hand seems devoid of myself, and I have nothing to do with what is happening. I just sit there watching it in a state of awe and wonderment. And [the music] just flows out of itself. We all know the feeling. We love it. It's one of the great states of being. It comes through many ways -- sports, hobbies, work, conversation, etc. A psychologist, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, studied that state and called it flow, now established as a something to be studied and understood. I figure most…

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Thinking about business school?

An entrepreneurial friend asked about business school. I shared the following with him and thought it might be useful for others. As long as it is, I could have written more. I got an MBA at Columbia. It was one of the best decisions of my life -- different than I expected, because I expected an academic experience. I did it after starting a business in the early 2000's. Some people do fine without formal business training. I did well up to a point -- getting the project started, getting people onto the team as employees, investors, suppliers, etc. But I had little to no experience in some important basics: accounting, how to read financial statements, managing teams, and a few other things. Business school…

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My next leadership seminar: June 4 and 5 at the New School (jointly with Columbia Business School)

(Some details TBD, but mark your calendars. The room is beautiful and centrally located. Please contact me with any questions. I'll update details as they are determined.)   LEADERSHIP THROUGH SELF-AWARENESS AND EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE At a time when businesses and business schools seek to learn from designers and design schools seek to prepare "students to be leaders in their professions and society", cross-pollination between communities over common interests is as valuable as ever. Personal leadership skills, self-awareness, and emotional intelligence have emerged as common and fundamental to both communities. In a weekend, learn how to develop these skills using recent advances in cognitive behavioral science, evolutionary psychology, and positive psychology in group including the communities of the world's premier business and design schools. Schedule: Day…

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New images and videos of the Parsons Displays
Final Fifth Avenue and 13th Street Parsons Student Linear Zoetropes

New images and videos of the Parsons Displays

Here are some videos and images of the displays the Parsons students put up in the corner of 5th Avenue and 13th Street. As usual, my camera is not great and my recording ability is worse. Cameras don't capture the medium. The final product also doesn't capture the challenge and work that went into creating the displays. Also, please see the course blog for lots of other images and videos of projects they did along the way.

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What do I do?

Do you want to live a life of the emotions you want -- happiness, joy, whatever -- freedom, and achievement? Then do what you love. If you believe you have to sacrifice what you love "to be practical" or "pragmatic," you are your own biggest obstacle. My life is a testament to the contrary. If you don't know what you love, find out. If you don't know how to find out, invite me to coach or lead a seminar for you. At least you should read my blog. I no longer value achievement like I once did, so I achieve more than ever, as side effects of doing what I love. If that seems paradoxical, read my blog for a more productive perspective. It's simple.…

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Update #3 on the Union Square display

We made the minimum on the Parsons Union Square kickstarter project! The project raised $5,017, just over the minimum of $5,000 we set (which is still below the what we'll need, but we'll figure out how to make it). Here's the latest updated we sent out. Update #3: We made it! Thank you! We made it! Just barely! Making it this close ($5,017 out of $5,000) means every contribution counted. Thank you to every one of you from all of us. We appreciate each of your contributions all the more for each one counting so much. We are that much more dedicated to making a beautiful display. Whether you contributed to help make New York more beautiful, to help students, to contribute to art, for…

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Update #2 on the Parsons Union Square display

Here is an update to the Parsons Union Square kickstarter project. Update #2: Video of the Fifth Avenue display Here is a video (just from my camera phone, sorry not great quality) of one of the displays in Parsons' window facing Fifth Avenue and 13th Street. As mentioned in the last update, this display is a big, genuine art piece, although still in preparation for the Union Square piece, which will be bigger and digital. Still, this one is pretty cool. The animation is a whimsical one of one of the students in the course, although everyone contributed to designing, building, and installing the display, as well as creating the animation in it. Many people walking by stop and look at it. Please check it…

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