I remember learning a great life lesson in managing intense emotions from a time I felt some of the deepest anxiety of my life. I also finished the project on time and on budget in the process. Two weeks from the deadline on a two-year project, I was coming to realize I didn’t see how I could complete it. People I told I could deliver had put themselves out for[…] Keep reading →

Since writing about avoiding judgmental words like good, bad, right, wrong, evil, and so on, I’ve loosely kept track of times the words truth, reality, and their derivatives added meaning to a sentence. So far, not once. You might not consider “truth” and “reality” judgmental terms. I won’t try to convince you they are, but notice how people use them. They say things like “The truth is that we should[…] Keep reading →

Here’s an old story that comes in many versions (here are seven), but I learned from Srikumar Rao‘s book Are You Ready to Succeed (text from this blog). An old man lived in a valley with his son, a handsome and dutiful youth. They lived a peaceful life despite a lack of material possessions. They were very happy. So much so, that neighbors began to get envious. One day, the[…] Keep reading →

Sometimes hearing something bluntly makes you realize new things in areas you thought you knew. That happened to me recently. A friend said something that dramatically improved how I thought of people and how I get to know them. The perspective becomes more liberating and improves your relationships more the more you understand it. She said, “Josh, nobody is normal.” Nobody is normal! At first I the bluntness caught me[…] Keep reading →

This exercise transforms your life. It has you do the first three steps of the Method, prepares you for the fourth, and sets up accountability with others for step 4. Accountability is how things get done, so it can help a lot. I do this exercise halfway through my seminar. People get deeply into it, even after sitting in a room for five or six hours. When we review the[…] Keep reading →

The Method’s steps 2 and 3 have you conceive of new emotions, environments, beliefs, and behaviors for emotional cycles you want to change. The challenge How do you pick the new beliefs to crowd out the old ones? Choosing the opposite to existing beliefs rarely helps. You end up debating yourself in your head. Discussion I find complements to beliefs crowd out existing ones more effectively. For example, I found[…] Keep reading →

Many people feel they can’t change themselves or that doing so is fake. Here is a quick exercise to show you how easily you can change yourself because you do it already. Step 1 First answer the question “Who are you?” by describing yourself with three or four adjectives. I know you’re just reading a web page, but if you have pen and paper or can open a window on[…] Keep reading →