As children we start defenseless. I don’t mean physically, though we start physically defenseless too. I mean kids don’t protect themselves from being emotionally hurt or having their identities challenged. Kids say things we adults recognize we would catch in mental filters before speaking. What mental filters? Everybody knows what I mean. As we get older we learn to protect our vulnerabilities. We learn protocol and manners. We learn how[…] Keep reading →

People are emailing about my awesome new book everyone should read, ReModel: Create mental models to improve your life and lead simply and effectively. Several people said they found a concept in the Introduction particularly meaningful, creating enthusiasm to read the rest of the book. I communicated that concept twice, first writing: I’d rather you learned to create your own beliefs and forgot mine than didn’t learn the skill and[…] Keep reading →

Today I’ll cover an exercise I do in my seminar and when I address a group of professionals. You can do it while reading this post. It teaches you about Yourself Self-awareness Teamwork, especially team building I can cover it in a few minutes or can use it to discuss teamwork, self-awareness, and my experience for thirty-minutes or more. Introduction I start by telling the group “I’m going to ask[…] Keep reading →

I first met Sebastian Marshall about five years ago in New York City through mutual friends. Though he was just over half my age at the time, I don’t hesitate to say I’ve learned as much from him as nearly anyone — and I’ve studied with Nobel Prize winners. He’s been a great friend since. We’ve since met in Kuala Lumpur, Beijing, and often on the internet. I continue learning[…] Keep reading →

People resist changing themselves, even clear improvements, for many reasons. One I see a lot, and have felt, is the fear that they’ll lose friends. The fear makes sense. The people in your life like you for the you they know. Changing your behavior means you may change things that attract them to you. Changing your environment risks them not leaving the old environments you shared. You could lose friendships.[…] Keep reading →

I reader emailed me a model he uses along the lines of the models and beliefs I put in my series on beliefs and now my book on the same topic. I’m honored and flattered that he used my format. I recommend looking at your beliefs and understanding them. In his email he described how his belief evolved as he wrote it — an effect I found too. Just writing[…] Keep reading →

Another leadership coach, Marshall Goldsmith, asked a question during a presentation: At your jobs you ask your clients and managers how you can do better. Do you ask your spouse, family members, or other people you care about if you can be a better spouse/mother/father/etc.? If not, why not? Marshall has no problem connecting your professional and personal lives. I hope you don’t. This topic is as much about professional[…] Keep reading →