August 2012 - Joshua Spodek

Blog / Entrepreneurship

So you’re good at meeting people. How do you choose whom to meet?

A reader asked about how to meet people once you're good at it. I'll start with a current example for me. Actually, first I'll note different categories of meeting people since I meet people in different situations in different ways. Today I'll look at an entrepreneurial business situation. Another time I'll look at regular business situations or social situations. An entrepreneurial business situation means I'm trying to do something big that's never been done before so I don't know about any existing systems or communities doing exactly what I'm thinking of, though there are people who do related things. I hope you don't mind I'm not yet sharing the idea so I have to stay vague. I think of starting a new project like how…

August 31, 2012

Awareness / Blog

A fundamental contradiction for many women in dating

I'll tell you a fundamental contradiction in nearly all women seeking men. Though glaringly obvious, most women (and men) I mention it to have never noticed it before. Point 1: Women don't want to be evaluated only on appearance I don't think I've ever met a woman who wants to be evaluated only on her appearance. Every one I've talked to wants people to know her personality, history, dreams, etc. Point 2: Women don't like men approaching many women I haven't met many women who support men approaching and flirting with lots of women. They tend to presume guys who do are looking for superficial relationships. Contradiction: How does a man learn about a woman besides her looks without talking to her? You can fantasize…

August 30, 2012

Blog

I flipped burgers at the Burger King on the Champs-Elysees in Paris

Writing about growing up in a bad part of town reminded me of a summer experience. I had the opportunity for a summer in Paris after my first year in college. I couldn't afford to stay without some income, but didn't speak enough French to do much. I searched as long as I could until my money was about to run out -- probably about a week -- then took a fast food job to avoid having to come home. I worked in the Burger King by the Georges V stop on the Champs-Elysees. I don't know if it's still there or not. Now that I think of it, I stopped eating meat the school year after, so seeing the operation from the inside may…

August 29, 2012

Blog / Leadership / Tips

You can plan good times. The best times just happen.

I think the title of this one says it all. A lesson in leadership -- not necessarily business leadership, but leading in social occasions: You can plan good times. The best times just happen. I think these words a lot, but especially during the Manila trip that ended up going to Boracay. Looking back I see I specifically didn't plan any details of what to do in Manila before arriving. I just contacted the people involved and made sure we had flexibility in the schedule. Then when the Boracay opportunity arose, I knew we could do it. The result? The vacation ofÂ a lifetime providing memories that will endure forever. At a low cost for that matter. Actually, I should specify: the best times just…

August 28, 2012

Awareness / Blog / Tips

Motivation, energy to act, and expectation of success

Do you suffer from low motivation, not knowing your passions, laziness, and other forms of just not feeling like putting the effort in? Do you want to have more motivation and passion? Most people tell me they're lazy about a lot of things and don't know their passions. Luckily, you can change that. Personally I don't like being that way or hanging around with people like that. I connect with people on their passions. I've written on this topic before. Today I want to state very simply where motivation and energy, and their lack -- laziness, lethargy and lack of energy -- come from. Unlike chemical energy, you can't measure emotional energy in calories. Your amount of motivation to do something is so simple and…

August 27, 2012

Growing up in a bad part of town

Growing up in a bad part of town

I was watching Chris Rock on Inside the Actors Studio. He talked about how growing up in dangerous neighborhoods in Brooklyn helped form him. Personally, I highly value the self-made-ness of a self-made man or woman. I think most people do, especially compared to someone born with a silver spoon in their mouth. His description of his childhood in a bad neighborhood reminded me of a neighborhood I spent some time growing up in. I started writing this post about my self-made-ness, but realized it's more about my mother's. I looked up the name of a street my mom moved to not long after my parents divorced -- Rockland Street in Philadelphia. In the 70s it was, to say the least, an economically depressed neighborhood.…

August 26, 2012

Blog / Leadership

More on power, leadership, lawlessness, justice, and amnesty

The New Yorker published a piece, "The Fairness Trap," echoing the issues I wrote on yesterday in the context of the U.S. foreclosure and Greek economic crises. In both cases, people's desire to punish people conflicted with clearly better economic solutions, according to the author. He talks about fairness, basically the same concept as justice -- reacting to emotions like outrage, indignation, and self-righteousness over agreeing on criteria to evaluate future outcomes on and trying to achieve the best one based on those criteria. A major problem with fairness, justice, outrage, indignation, self-righteousness, and the like is their subjectivity. We may personify justice as holding scales, but no scale can evaluate when an outcome or behavior is right or wrong, just or unjust, fair or…

August 25, 2012

Blog / Freedom / Leadership / NorthKorea

Power, leadership, lawlessness, justice, and amnesty

I'm going to present an over-simplified case related to issues many of us face in much smaller contexts. The goal is to learn from simple hypothetical cases to build experience for more complex, real-life cases. Normally I separate my North Korea posts from leadership ones, but they overlap here, along with my being in China now. One of the greater challenges the world faces is how to bring some kind of justice, or at least rule of law, to the North Korean regime. I think any community in the world not directly benefiting from the North Korean government's behavior would condemn it and consider punishment appropriate. This raises a challenge: because the regime holds all the power locally, nobody can bring them to justice. Because…

August 24, 2012

Handling annoying requests from your superiors at work

A client wrote with a challenge. He does sales on commission. Some assistant managers, also on commission, ask him to do small tasks that take him off the sales floor, helping their chances for commissions at his expense. He mostly acquiesces to their requests. On the occasions he declined, he "lashed out," showing intense emotions coworkers interpreted as mood swings. His question touches on what happen in many places where people lash out when they don't know what to do, so I'll treat that aspect of it. Learning how to handle complex business and social situations applies everywhere. I wrote him the following (slightly edited): Lashing out and having mood swings go hand in hand with not knowing what to do or how to do…

August 23, 2012

Blog

Typical conversation in Chinese restaurant

"I don't eat any meat, fish, chicken, or eggs. Does this dish have any of those in it?" "Ah, you're vegetarian. I understand. No, that dish has no meat in it." "Are you sure? No meat, fish, chicken or eggs? Not even oyster sauce?" "I'm sure. It has only vegetables." "Great. I'll take it then." Halfway through the dish, you find what looks like pieces of meat all throughout the dish. You call the closest waiter and point to the pieces of apparent meat and ask if it is meat. He wasn't part of the earlier conversation so doesn't know you don't eat meat. Without missing a beat he says, yes, that's meat. You call over the waiter you ordered from, point out the apparent…

August 22, 2012

The Leaders in Software and Art Conference, October 16

Art / Blog / Leadership

The Leaders in Software and Art Conference, October 16

Savvy readers will notice the conference mentioned in the title covers two big topics of this blog -- leadership and art. I've twice spoken at Leaders in Software and Art events, helped host another, and attended many others (a video of my work is currently on the LISA site's front page). The organizer, Isabel Draves, has been building the events, consistently assembling artists and technologists to speak, network, and share about art and technology. (Her husband, Scott, creates just about the most amazing computer-based art I've ever seen.) After many successful monthly salons, she's finally making the first big LISA conference, assembling a great set of speakers. I expect this event will be as Isabel plans -- a TED conference for the overlap of technology…

August 21, 2012

Blog / Education / Entrepreneurship / Favorites / Leadership / Tips

My essays for getting into an Ivy League business school in 23 days

Here are my Columbia Business School application essays, to complete the series on getting into business school in 23 days. I edited them slightly, mainly to take out personal details. In the optional essay 5, I can see I was blatantly name-dropping Columbia Business School Professors and my experience at the school. I think I could have used more subtlety. My graduate school stipend -- what I lived on in Manhattan for about four years -- surprises me to this day. I think the number was accurate, but wonder if the first number might have been a 2 instead of a 1. Anyway, here are the essays. Essay 1 1. What are your short-term and long-term post-MBA goals? How will Columbia Business School help you…

August 20, 2012

Blog / Education / Entrepreneurship / Leadership / Tips

My background for getting into an Ivy League business school in 23 days

Yesterday I posted about the process I stumbled into for getting into an Ivy League business school in 23 days. How to read this post Today I'll talk about the credentials that made it possible. But please recognize, the point of these posts is not merely to show you how to get into business school, but to show you that you can combine whatever you have in your past into something bigger than you expect. You have to be aware of the possibilities and ready to act on them. If you are insecure and want to justify why can't succeed, you'll read this post to see how other people can achieve big things because they have advantages you don't. I used to look at things…

August 19, 2012

Blog / Education / Entrepreneurship / Favorites / Leadership / Tips

I started at an Ivy League business school 23 days after deciding to apply. Here’s how.

On December 10, 2004 I decided to apply to business school. I had written no essays, taken no GMAT, reviewed no school's web site or application process, and asked no one for a recommendation. On January 2, 2005, 23 days later, I began orientation at Columbia Business School (ranked #5 by Forbes, Economist, and Financial Times). I got my MBA the following May, less than eighteen months from deciding to apply. Prep schools (such as Manhattan GMAT and Kaplan) recommend starting the application process eighteen months before starting classes. I completed my entire application and degree in less time than they recommend for just applying. Business school ended up one of the best experiences of my life, a turning point improving it in many ways…

August 18, 2012

I love the West Village

Art / Blog / Favorites / Stories

I love the West Village

Greenwich Village, my home, is the best place on Earth. You may love a place more. I love the beauty of raw nature, untouched by human hands, that New York City no longer offers. But I love people and the art, music, culture, and community we create too and I've never seen the equal of the West Village. After living abroad and visiting amazing growth, ancient cultures, new cultures, and new ways of seeing, I wondered how coming home would feel. Coming out of the subway to my home, seeing my neighbors, the neighborhood, the buildings, the restaurants, the people of the Village, and whatever visitors are here overwhelmed me with its diversity and vibrancy. I write prose on life and leadership, not creative writing.…

August 17, 2012

Soursops — my new favorite fruit!

Soursops — my new favorite fruit!

Fruit vendors in Boracay had some crazy tropical fruits I'd never seen before, along with the delicious and numerous mangoes of various varieties. We passed on durians this time, though they were there. On a whim we got one of this odd looking fruit they called "Gayabanos," which Wikipedia redirects to Soursop. Weird name in English, but it has many names in Central and South America, Africa, and Asia. It tastes like a mangosteen, but is bigger and easier to eat, with fewer seeds. Holy cow, it tastes amazing! If I could describe it I would. It's tangy, sweet, tart, creamy, juicy, and more. Wikipedia says Its flavor has been described as a combination of strawberry and pineapple with sour citrus flavor notes contrasting with…

August 16, 2012

Boracay!

Boracay!

Though I try to post mainly on leadership, it's hard not to post sometimes when you have a vacation of a lifetime. Still, for those interested in Four-Hour-Work-Week or Mr-Money-Mustache living -- that is, needing little -- you'll be glad to see that working only one or two days a week can bring you to one of the world's top-rated beaches -- Boracay! Last week a friend and I planned to visit another friend in Manila. Ten days of monsoon rains flooded that city, so they suggested I check out Boracay, an island I'd never heard of, but was a short, cheap flight away. Below are some pictures. They couldn't capture two of the island's best features. First, in the ocean. The fish and invertebrates…

August 15, 2012

How I edit these posts

Usually when I sit to write an article I expect to finish it quickly. I have what I consider a useful article and I feel inspired. Yet each article consistently takes one to three hours to write. I spend most of that time editing. I believe most writers do. So what do I edit besides the stuff everyone does? I remove judgmental language. Most of the stuff below you might find in Strunk and White, but I rarely see others practicing this rule or the next one and I wish I did. I've written extensively on how counterproductive I believe judgment is to improving your life and relationships. I've removed a lot of it from my regular speech, but I still try to remove it.…

August 14, 2012

Awareness / Blog / Leadership

The one person you can never see from another person’s perspective is yourself

The one person you can never see from another person's perspective is yourself. Ironic because that's the one person you'd most like to see from another person's perspective. Everyone else sees you that way, so it would be nice to see how other people see us. You always hear stories about people who think they're great leaders, but unknown to them, they always scowl or their voices don't sound like they think they do or people undermine them behind their backs. As a coach, offering an external perspective -- a mirror -- is one of the more valuable services I can offer, even if I give no active advice but merely passive feedback. As a regular person, like anyone else I wish I could see…

August 12, 2012

Kim Il Sung Square, the day before his birthday celebration

Kim Il Sung Square, the day before his birthday celebration

Kim Il Sung Square hosts the big rallies with the soldiers marching in huge numbers past whichever great leader is in power. We visited the day before the big hundredth anniversary of Kim Il Sung's birth. The day was cool and foggy. We had one of the most amazing experiences of our lives. See all those groups of people in the second picture? I'm not sure why they were there -- maybe honoring their holiday in the main location the day before the big ceremonies they probably wouldn't be allowed to attend in person. We ended up joking, singing, and playing with a lot of them. How do you joke and sing with people you can't communicate with while an intrusive government watches everything? We…

August 11, 2012

More on rules

Blog / Creativity / Humor

More on rules

Following up yesterday's post on rules, here are some views on them, and lack thereof, from Calvin and Hobbes. Click the images to see them full size. I'll let you figure out for yourself how deep and meaningful you find their take on life, how valuable their freedom from constraints other people can't get around, and how much they enable you to behave as freely. Anyway, I consider them great works and relevant to yesterday's topic.

August 11, 2012

An old building in North Korea

Art / NorthKorea

An old building in North Korea

I believe a king lived here and that the building dates from around 1400, but I don't remember. Still, it's one of the few historical buildings they have or architectural references to a leadership other than the Kims. Sorry I don't remember the details (perhaps a reader who knows can remind me), but you start tuning out the guides and the stories glorifying the Kims and their regime sometimes, even when you're looking at something unrelated. The full building Detail of the interior of the top Upstairs (the sunlight overexposed the bannister) Detail of a corner Detail of the top of a pillar The ceiling of another building in the complex The ceiling of the previous picture from a different view The ceiling of the…

August 10, 2012

Awareness / Blog / Freedom

Rules: what are they and how do you get to play by your own?

Speaking of superstars, they seem to play by their own rules. Most of us wish we could. How do you get to play by your own rules, not someone else's? Today I'll look at rules from a few different contexts and ask a few questions about them. A rule describes how people should behave. Context 1: Mutually agreed-on rules When I think of playing a game, rules make sense. We want to enjoy ourselves or maybe see who is better. Playing chess only makes sense if we agree on rules. Otherwise, what's the point? Context 2: Rules agreed on by some Laws are kinds of rules. Most laws imposed on me were written before I was born. I tend to agree with many of them,…

August 10, 2012

North Korean monuments, part 2

North Korean monuments, part 2

More images of North Korean monuments... I think this sphere and orbit building was part of a technology museum on the road to and from the airport. We didn't enter it though we went near it. I suspect it's not in active uses. We saw this church, one of the few religious things outside of the government's state sponsored religion. I don't know if it has active serviced or is just for show. This anchor statue was on a building at the top of a hill over a barrage (I had to look it up too). I guess it once also acted as a lighthouse, but I'm not sure. Here we see workers on the roof of a big new building under construction. I'm not…

August 10, 2012

Art / Blog / Entrepreneurship / Freedom / Leadership

More on becoming a superstar

I wanted to comment on a quote in yesterday's post about becoming a superstar that illustrates an aspect important for the aspiring star -- you. And, again, superstardom can mean breakout success in any area -- starting a company, making CEO, being a superstar boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse, etc. A musician I quoted yesterday commented that American Idol's shooting-the-moon style isn't really about music. It's about all the bad aspects of the music business â€“ the arrogance of commerce, this sense of 'I know what will make this person a star; artists themselves don't know.' I've only seen a few minutes of the show, but it looks like the judges speak authoritatively (not that they have authority, just that they speak that way) on what…

August 9, 2012

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