Continuing my series of alternative responses to the New York Times column, The Ethicists, looking at the consequences of one’s actions instead of imposing values on others, here is my take on today’s post, “Should I Tell Mom I Think Dad Was Gay?” I think my father, who died 10 years ago, was gay or preferred men, but I have no proof. I base my suspicion mostly on the way[…] Keep reading →

Continuing my series of alternative responses to the New York Times column, The Ethicists, looking at the consequences of one’s actions instead of imposing values on others, here is my take on today’s post, “Do We Have to Send Our Kid to a Bad Public School?” My wife and I are an interracial couple living in Oakland, Calif. We are both first-generation college graduates for whom solid public-school educations made[…] Keep reading →

Continuing my series of alternative responses to the New York Times column, The Ethicists, looking at the consequences of one’s actions instead of imposing values on others, here is my take on today’s post, “Is It O.K. to Go to Work While Sick and Sneezing?” I work for a company that doles out a paltry amount of sick days and paid time off. Because I was nearing the end of[…] Keep reading →

Continuing my series of alternative responses to the New York Times column, The Ethicists, looking at the consequences of one’s actions instead of imposing values on others, here is my take on today’s post, “Must I Pretend to Like My Artist Friend’s Work?” A good friend of ours is an aspiring painter. Recently she held an exhibition at her studio of her latest efforts. We love her, but we’re not[…] Keep reading →

A reader asked: Have you written about ‘people caring or worrying about what others think of them’? Years ago I used to very arrogantly assert that I didn’t care what others thought of me but then I realized that it did matter to me. Half my anxiety comes from it. And a lot of satisfaction too when I learn they think highly of me. So I don’t outrightly make that[…] Keep reading →

Would you feel weird to eat the peel of an orange? I don’t know about you, but I would have thought people would consider me weird to peel an orange and then eat any of the peel. It turns out the peel has most of the fruit’s vitamin C, nearly all of its fiber, a decent amount of calcium, and almost no calories. It’s healthy and comes free with the[…] Keep reading →

Continuing my series of alternative responses to the New York Times column, The Ethicists, looking at the consequences of one’s actions instead of imposing values on others, here is my take on today’s post, “What Should I Have Done After an I.V.F. Mix-Up?” I continue to struggle with decisions I made many years ago following an in vitro mix-up. The technology was then relatively new. I became pregnant with another[…] Keep reading →