The New York Times has a column called The Ethicist, where people write to ask for judgment and advice. Though I find the writing generally fun and light, I find the premise—that someone else has more access than you to values, implied to be absolute—undermines people considering their options, considering their values, developing their social skills, developing their empathy and compassion skills, and so on. I see that perspective as[…] Keep reading →
How much better would your relationships be if you saw solutions where you used to see problems? While I don’t like problems, I’ve learned to look forward to problems as ways of improving relationships. Relationships can grow stronger as a result of social gaffes just like broken bones heal stronger than had they never broken and muscles grow from minor tears when you stress them. What meaningful relationships have you[…] Keep reading →
Do you have people you can’t avoid that annoy you and want to handle them more effectively? Normally I think of this situation at work, but I’m sure it applies to some people with their families on Thanksgiving. I build on the following two principles and apply them to personal relationships: Great teams are built on strengths. Don’t look for blame but take responsibility for improving things to the extent[…] Keep reading →
Today’s post is about one of the most concise yet most meaningful sayings about the workplace I’ve heard: People join good projects and leave bad management. Besides the poignant humor nearly everyone feels when, on first hearing the phrase, they remember projects they enthusiastically joined only to find their optimism ruined by an intolerable relationship with a manager, it has meaning on many other levels. My goal in this post,[…] Keep reading →
I remember as a kid in the 70s being taught a policy to turn off lights when I was the last to leave a room. People put stickers on light switches with that message. I don’t see that message that much any more. People seem to generally project that saving energy is better than not saving energy, but I see the idea more used to market selling products than changing[…] Keep reading →
[This post is part of a series on internal objections and blocks and how to overcome them. If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] Yesterday introduced obstacles and blocks as inevitable parts of leadership and personal development. It also suggested you can see them as advantages, or at least solving[…] Keep reading →
Speaking of superstars, they seem to play by their own rules. Most of us wish we could. How do you get to play by your own rules, not someone else’s? Today I’ll look at rules from a few different contexts and ask a few questions about them. A rule describes how people should behave. Context 1: Mutually agreed-on rules When I think of playing a game, rules make sense. We[…] Keep reading →