Following up my previous post in this thread, I forgot a few judgmental words and some tips on avoiding sounding judgmental. The judgmental words see frequent usage: Should Ought to Impressed A friend once said "there are very few shoulds in life." I found his observation helpful. I have found avoiding telling people what they should or shouldn't do helpful. When you say someone should do something they aren't doing, you're advising them based on your values. If they asked for your advice, you're probably helping them. If you haven't, you're probably judging. On to the tips. In the first exercise of the last post, I offered alternatives to judgmental language. Here is some clarification. Many (most?) of the time someone says something is right…

Do you like being judged? Nobody likes when someone else is self-righteous, holier-than-thou, or high-and-mighty to them. Would you be shocked to find you're judging people -- thereby repelling them -- without realizing it? Would you want to do something about it? You probably avoid judgmental people. I'd bet it's one of the major reasons you avoid the people you do. (Clients often mention their parents here. Even recognizing their parents' best intents, their being judgmental is repellant.) You're probably comfortable with nonjudgmental people, or who actively practice nonjudgmental acceptance. Yet you probably communicate judgment to people without realizing it, mainly in words you choose without realizing it, as I'll describe below. The good news is you can do something about it, and what you…