Any captain can pilot a ship in calm seas with a light breeze. You can’t tell someone’s skill in easy, calm times. For that matter, while you can learn the basics in easy, calm times, you can’t learn greatness in them. So while no one looks forward to difficult, stressful, white-water times, unless you expect easy breezes your whole career, you need them to become great. The greatness of great[…] Keep reading →

Nearly everybody considers power important in social contexts. Nearly everybody wants more. Even if they don’t want to become the most powerful politicians, business leaders, or whatever, they still generally prefer having more power to less. People denigrate others for seeking too much, but I think that’s sour grapes. Nobody wants to feel powerless. So what is power? I’m not sure people understand what they mean by “power” in social[…] Keep reading →

The only way never to fail is never to try. If you try enough times, eventually you will fail. People who try hard enough to improve their lives learn to regard failing first as inevitable, then as desirable, if not in a particular instance, then in general. If they don’t fail sometimes they aren’t trying hard enough. This inevitability occurred to me recently when watching some sports championship. The best[…] Keep reading →

A friend who is improving his life hit a change in a relationship that hurt emotionally. For better or worse, I’ve found such challenges and pain an inevitable part of growth and change. Knowing their inevitability helps, but they still hurt. In writing him back, I found myself voicing a belief that has helped me in such situations — that an easy life of comfort wouldn’t hold a candle to[…] Keep reading →

“What if the other person is boring?” People ask me this question all the time when I tell them they can attract people better, especially through genuineness and authenticity. The question reveals a belief about people I disagree with. My belief creates more friendships that are deeper and more meaningful. I’ll talk about it here. Two beliefs that create friendships I believe everyone has facets of their personality that are[…] Keep reading →

How do we become more genuine and authentic, following yesterday’s post on the value of genuineness and authenticity? I don’t have a magic bullet but I can tell you some of the major steps that helped me. I don’t claim to be the most genuine and authentic person, but I’m more so now than I was. First, I came to recognize that all these shells weren’t helping me. They seemed[…] Keep reading →

I know a trick to attract any woman. If you want to attract a man it works too. I use it regularly when I flirt and it always works. I know it works because when I tell the woman I’m flirting with what I’m doing she always says it’s working. Just to be sure I predispose her to be skeptical by telling her what I just wrote — that I[…] Keep reading →