In a recent online discussion a guy talking about a tv show on morbidly obese people talked about people on the show disparagingly. He also said he used to be fat. Other people took him to task and criticized him as insulting and rude. I’m not sure I agree he was necessarily insulting and rude. For one thing, he later clarified he said what he did in part “to galvanise[…] Keep reading →

I asked my friend in Bayonne that I wrote about yesterday, whose neighborhood the storm destroyed, to review yesterday’s post before putting it up. I found his comments inspiring. I know when reading them I hear his voice. As a personal trainer, he’s almost always upbeat and I can hear his motivating tone in these words. I hope that upbeat, non-judgmental tone comes across in the words. Other people have[…] Keep reading →

A reader raised the question for me of how to respond to others’ suffering. She wrote about my recent posts about the aftermath of the storm: You may want to show some empathy at your blog for those hardest hit who have been displaced from their homes with children, not knowing whether to stay or go, not having many options at their disposal, worried for the safety of their children,[…] Keep reading →

People think they’re values stay constant. They change all the time. Here’s a simple example. It may seem like it’s on a small or unimportant. The principle applies to lots of places. When I was a kid Sony came out with the Walkman, revolutionizing listening to music. You could bring a cassette with you anywhere and listen to it without bothering others. Suddenly people who never felt they needed music[…] Keep reading →

People have a lot of misconceptions about values that make it hard for people to know and live by theirs. In particular, people imagine sticking to their values in challenging situations hard. Misconception 1: It’s hard to stick to your values during crises, conflict, and ethical dilemmas A lot of people think that crises, conflicts, and ethical dilemmas entice you to drop your values and just do what’s easy. I[…] Keep reading →

(Working on a presentation, I had to rewrite a post from a couple months ago. It’s very similar to the original, but I thought there’d be value in posting a slightly different way of putting it. I hope that value is more important than the repetition). If you read this blog you know about the researchers who asked people who won huge lotteries and people who just had accidents leading[…] Keep reading →

I think it helps to look at the world from a different point of view sometimes. You see things differently. When I did yoga, sometimes my teacher would have us cross our arms left over right instead of right over left (or vice versa, depending on how you did it normally). If you’ve never done it, try it. I doubt it will make you suddenly enlightened, but it feels weird[…] Keep reading →