When you try to lead someone who doesn’t feel understood you ruin your your chances of leading them. I want to emphasize in this post the difference between understanding someone and them feeling understood. You understanding someone happens in your head. Them feeling understood happens in their head. People don’t act on what’s in your head. They act on what’s in their heads. Here’s what trying to lead someone without[…] Keep reading →

[This post is part of a series on Communication Skills Exercises for Business and Life. If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] Making someone feel understood is a powerful leadership tool that makes the difference between motivating with external incentives, which merely guide, and internal emotions, which motivate from within.[…] Keep reading →

One of my clients has a boss who hoards information and responsibility and doesn’t give him the support he needs to do his job. Naturally, he wants to influence his boss to lead him better—that is, he wants to lead his boss. You have to see people as people first and positions on organization charts second, take responsibility, and lead them if you want to influence them. The first step[…] Keep reading →

Has anyone ever told you they understood you and then did something that someone who understood you never would? You feel they not only don’t understand you, they think they did, which they don’t, and told you they did, which was wrong. You write off that person as not understanding you and therefore not worth listening to or following. You might not even consider them worth your time to help[…] Keep reading →

This quote by the actor in the video below reveals such profound lack of awareness, you can only imagine the denial that could resolve the conflict between accepting direct government aid and welfare while decrying government aid and welfare and saying nobody helped him. I don’t know if the programs he talked about help or hurt society or him. I don’t know his situation. I only know what he said[…] Keep reading →

I wrote on my model for personal development and coaching of setting your angel free based on Michelangelo’s answer on how he carved David out of a block of marble: “I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.“ My model says that since we feel most natural and people are most attracted to us when we behave free of the constraints and motivations others[…] Keep reading →

I will be presenting Golden Lion Cannes Award-winning Director Corydon Wagner February 27, 6-8pm. As a successful entrepreneur who leads projects with billions of dollars at play, he will present what business leaders can learn from directing and producing film. Sign up here. Below is the announcement text with a link to Wagner’s page. Business today forces leaders to form and lead teams under difficult conditions, even where few team[…] Keep reading →

I’ve been meaning to write today’s post for a long time. I prepared to tell it for a Moth story on stage, but didn’t get to, so I’ll share it with you. It’s the story of how you got here from the beginning of the universe, at least as far back as we can trace it. As you know, I like both physics and being able to make complicated things[…] Keep reading →

Today’s post is on awareness–to note something about yourself you may not have noticed. You know how if you listen to a song too much you get bored of it, no matter how much you loved it at first? Or if you spend too much time with someone you need time away from them? I noticed a few things I never get bored of. It’s not the biggest insight into[…] Keep reading →