Leadership


Get leadership coaching like an Ivy League business school

I compiled a series of posts on experiences and lessons from coaching MBA students at Columbia Business School. Click here to read the series. Meanwhile, here's the introductory text: Do you want to improve your leadership skills? Does this describe you: Highly motivated? Limited time? Want to know top-5 business school culture (or just learn to lead like someone from one)? This series will help you. Columbia Business School provides a service to its students helpful to anyone — it has each MBA candidate take a 360-degree report and gives each a coach to help interpret the results and create a plan to act on it. I took the program and have been coaching Columbia MBA students through this program for years. Since we have…

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Op/Ed Fridays: Our broken criminal justice “system”

I try to look at things from a systems perspective when the perspective applies and helps. We often talk about a criminal justice system. If a system is a set of interacting or interdependent parts forming an integrated whole, parts not forming an integrated whole do not make up a system. Large segments of what we call our criminal justice system increasingly seems a non-system we've mislabeled out of hope or misunderstanding. On the same day I happened to read two articles. The first covered Toronto's Mayor Rob Ford, describing his apparently criminal antics including smoking crack, doing other drugs, pushing grandmothers, lying to the press, and more and the rest of the government's inability to remove him from office. For some reason it didn't…

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Annoyed by people you can’t avoid?

Do you have people you can't avoid that annoy you and want to handle them more effectively? Normally I think of this situation at work, but I'm sure it applies to some people with their families on Thanksgiving. I build on the following two principles and apply them to personal relationships: Great teams are built on strengths. Don't look for blame but take responsibility for improving things to the extent you can. You behave differently in different situations and with different people. So does everyone else. I think of it as everyone having facets -- different faces they show different people. As with a gem, each facet shows more complexity to a person than you could possibly exhaust. Since people keep growing and changing, you…

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Some “problems” you want to have

Yesterday I wrote about how leadership creates community, which, if you persevere, leads to living freely and by your values and experiencing deep emotional reward. Your life improves by doing so. It creates effects I can only call problems, but they are problems you want to have because they help you learn and grow even more. The "problem" with knowing how to make your dreams come true -- in making your fantasies reality As you develop your skills in leading others and creating the social worlds you want, you learn that your deepest emotional reward comes from your relationships with the people closest to you, including yourself. As a leader, you find yourself surrounded by people you mutually appreciate, respect, love, support, challenge, open up…

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Leading people creates community, which feels like creating your world

Remember when I wrote "You can't "create your world" but you can do better"? I've been meaning to expand on this aspect of leading your community. The more you learn to lead, the more you can make your community how you want it. The more you do so, the more your behavior, thoughts, and beliefs take on two properties. You behave, think, and believe more freely and more by your values. Sounds great, doesn't it? Who doesn't want to live more freely and by their values? Funny that more people don't do it, often scared to start the process. Since we're such social creatures and our communities feel like our social worlds, when we create our social worlds the way we want, it's easy to…

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More in favor of consequences of actions undermining being judgmental

People talk about things being right, wrong, good, or bad as if these properties had absolute or objective standards. They don't and it matters to leaders and anyone else trying to influence someone with different values. If you want to motivate someone you disagree with and you call them wrong or bad, you can bet they don't consider themselves wrong or bad. They consider themselves right and good. Your suggesting otherwise will undermine your credibility with them, no matter how good and right you feel. Without credibility, you lose your ability to motivate them. Today I'd like to undermine the universality some people imagine right, wrong, good, and bad to have beyond being opinion. Opinion is important, but we understand different people have different opinions,…

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Communication skills exercises for business and life

Without effective communication skills and comfort practicing them, whatever awesomeness you have inside you is invisible to the world. You might as well not have it. Other people will nearly always be attracted to people with better social skills. With effective communication skills and comfort practicing them, you can showcase your inner awesomeness to your heart's content. You can attract other people, whether for business, personal, or whatever reason you want. People want to do business with you and invite you to join them because they want people around who communicate well. Anybody can improve their communication skills, including you People today sometimes think I was naturally born socially adept. I'm flattered, but I remember years of sitting in the library on Friday nights, not…

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Coaching works.

I've been coaching clients one-on-one for a few years, as readers have noted from my references to clients. I've coached nearly a hundred clients by now, most of whom found me through word of mouth. I added a new coaching page to this site to help people find coaching with me. Why? My clients succeed. That's why I love coaching. You can achieve more too. Because coaching works. I have a coach who helps me Identify my priorities Tell me how I look from an outside perspective (the one person you can't see from another person's perspective is yourself, the one you wish you could see that way most) Hold me accountable to finishing important tasks. I recommend you get one too. If you like…

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The route to quality is through quantity

I read a story with a lesson for anyone who creates anything too helpful not to copy. As much as I didn't want to copy something you can find elsewhere, I couldn't stop myself. I hadn't read it before so I hope it's new to you. It's from a book called Art and Fear on creating art, but you'll find it useful for creating anything -- products, beliefs, rules to live by, ways to motivate yourself and others, or whatever. Enjoy: The ceramics teacher announced on opening day that he was dividing the class into two groups. All those on the left side of the studio, he said, would be graded solely on the quantity of work they produced, all those on the right solely…

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A risk that paid off and learning from it

Here's an anecdote from a woman named Elle Luna: I was using Uber all the time in San Francisco, even though I hated the design. And then I went to the Crunchies awards ceremony and at a post-ceremony event, where I was in a ball gown, I saw the CEO of Uber, Travis Kalanick, sitting at the bar. I was three whiskeys deep at this point and I walked up to him and said, "I use Uber all the time and I absolutely hate the app. I think you should bring me in to fix it." He replied, "Oh, yeah? What are the three things you'd fix about it?" I said, "I'd redo the logo, redo the entire app, and change the rating system." I…

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Method acting, leadership, and improving your life, from James Lipton

I've written before about the television show Inside the Actors Studio and how much the young field of leadership training could stand to learn from the longstanding field of acting training. Below is an interview of the host of Inside the Actors Studio, James Lipton, describing the transformation acting training went through with Constantine Stanislavsky. Leadership training stands to benefit from similar changes, and that field inspires me to help those changes. As he described it, about a century ago acting replaced impressing others with expressing yourself, the goal of perfection with authenticity, self-reference and self-reverence with a system of exercises, focus on the external with focus on the internal, making yourself up with seeking truth, well-rehearsed lines with believing what you're saying. Everybody on…

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Integrity in successful leaders: Gandhi cleaned toilets

This post is about integrity and sticking with your values. A few years ago I visited my father in Ahmedabad, India, the country he has studied his professional life. We visited Gandhi's ashram, a community where people who wanted to learn about and support him went. It still exists, though mainly as a static, historical site. It's a humble place on the banks of a river, humbler than you'd expect one of the great historical world leaders to live.  A sign there (sorry no picture) stated clearly that part of everyone's duties was cleaning the toilets, meaning scrubbing the buckets since I don't think they had plumbing. As I understand, Gandhi's environment in India included a very stratified caste system he opposed. He felt no…

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How to lower executive pay
Increasing supply lowers price

How to lower executive pay

The New Yorker this week has yet another article on executive pay, how high it is, how it continues to grow, and how attempts to slow it aren't working. Everybody knows the situation. We've read tons of such articles. We know executive pay is high enough that it isn't getting what shareholders are paying for, but no one can stop its growth. Want to lower executive pay? Basic economics and negotiation tell us all we need to know. Basic economics: supply and demand A CEO's wages have a price in a market. What sets prices in a market? Unless you believe the CEOs are fixing prices or the market isn't competitive, supply and demand set the price. If you want to lower prices either decrease…

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You tell me what you do best. I’ll tell you what you do worst.

Today I'll cover an exercise I do in my seminar and when I address a group of professionals. You can do it while reading this post. It teaches you about Yourself Self-awareness Teamwork, especially team building I can cover it in a few minutes or can use it to discuss teamwork, self-awareness, and my experience for thirty-minutes or more. Introduction I start by telling the group "I'm going to ask you to tell me what you do best. Then I will tell you what you do worst." I say it provocatively to get a response and set expectations high. A few people respond incredulously. I point out that someone did the exercise with me. I was equally surprised -- how could someone tell a room…

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A book I haven’t finished and why I recommend it

I first met Sebastian Marshall about five years ago in New York City through mutual friends. Though he was just over half my age at the time, I don't hesitate to say I've learned as much from him as nearly anyone -- and I've studied with Nobel Prize winners. He's been a great friend since. We've since met in Kuala Lumpur, Beijing, and often on the internet. I continue learning from him. I'm amazed and inspired how he keeps developing and producing. I mean to write about his book today, but you have to know a bit about him to give context to his book. [NOTE: I haven't actually spoken to him in a while and am writing this review independently of him. I haven't…

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Choosing idealism in the face of contrary evidence of what works is a recipe for disaster

I posted the following in response to a bunch of articles I've read about a report co-authored by over a dozen science-related organizations describing how reducing funding for science has led to research and the benefits it brings to society leaving the U.S. --- The writing on the wall became apparent to me with the 1993 cancellation of the Superconducting Super Collider, when I was getting my PhD in physics. I didn't know the numbers for a cost-benefit analysis, but I couldn't then nor can I now see cancellation as helpful to the U.S. The U.S. would have stayed way ahead of the rest of the world in particle physics and all the accompanying jobs, discoveries, and innovation. Instead we look to the rest of…

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People join good projects and leave bad management

Today's post is about one of the most concise yet most meaningful sayings about the workplace I've heard: People join good projects and leave bad management. Besides the poignant humor nearly everyone feels when, on first hearing the phrase, they remember projects they enthusiastically joined only to find their optimism ruined by an intolerable relationship with a manager, it has meaning on many other levels. My goal in this post, as in this blog, is to help raise awareness about a problem and describe solutions. In this case also to publicize the phrase, which I consider useful and funny and not nearly well-known enough for how useful and funny it is. Searching on the phrase links to my first post on this phrase. More importantly,…

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Silent Spring

I finished a book the other day I'd been meaning to read for at least a decade -- Silent Spring, by Rachel Carson, released in 1962. I posted a summary below. I also understood it influenced thought a lot. I had to speak to a few people who were adults when it came out to understand its impact at the time, which they assured me was colossal -- a common-sense bolt out of the blue from a humble woman who simply researched and compiled information anyone else could have. It seems, like Vietnam, one of the major turning points about which the American people began to question their government and find it didn't consistently act in their interests. In fact, it seemed often to work…

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Jack Welch’s Gardening Model of Leadership

If you read this blog you know I write a lot about beliefs and mental models and how they filter how you perceive your environment and influence your motivations and behavior. If you've read my series on my Model or taken my leadership seminar, you know that models can diverge from what you perceive with your senses and still be more effective than one you consider more accurate. I often illustrate this effect with a few well-known examples, like Men Are From Mars, Woman Are From Venus. I'm not sure how effectively the book helped people, but the model simply and clearly enabled people to see differences between men and women. It worked despite being wildly inaccurate since, in fact, all men and all women…

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An example of effective, understated leadership

I wanted to share an example of effective leadership I once saw. When I was in graduate school, Columbia was considering its policy on allowing the military to have programs like ROTC on campus or not and held hearings anyone in the university could attend to speak their mind. I attended one. The President of the university, Lee Bolinger, ran the event. I had strong feelings about risking militarizing the campus and entered expecting to feel critical of the school and to leave outraged. Instead, I left impressed with Bollinger. I could only conceive then of leadership in the form of command and control so I expected he would try to "lead" participants to an intended outcome. Instead, he acted mostly to moderate. More than anything…

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Protected: Leadership Through Emotional Intelligence and Self-Awareness, September 21-22, CBSACNY page

To the attendees of this weekend's leadership seminar, Thank you to everyone for attending and helping make this weekend's class such a great experience. You were as lively, inquisitive, and participative a group as I've seen. I hope you got as much out of it as I did. As promised, here are the slides in pdf format, slightly edited to handle the transition effects. If anything is confusing, please feel free to ask. Please also don't distribute the file, but please share the ideas. If you want more background and many of the topics the seminar covered and don't mind non-professionally edited posts, I listed a few links to topics I posted on here before. Until the seminar comes out in professionally edited book format…

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My start with emotional intelligence and self-awareness

You don't have emotional intelligence, you were born with it, or you developed it. If you developed it you started sometime, like I did. If you don't have it, you can start too. Here's my start. I don't pretend I'm the world master of emotional intelligence, but I've come a long way and I know anyone else can. I hope sharing the story motivates others. Context Before business school I had barely heard of the concept of emotional intelligence. Since I contrasted emotions with rationality, I considered them irrational and weird, not something to learn about or focus on. Since I connected emotions to feelings, music, art, and romantic comedies, I didn't connect them to behavior. Nor for that matter did I connect behavior to…

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Reminder: See my leadership seminar this weekend!

Brought to you by the Distinguished Leaders committee of the Columbia Business School Alumni Club of New York (copying the following announcement from that site): Leadership Through Self-Awareness and Emotional Intelligence In a weekend, learn how to develop your personal leadership skills, self-awareness, and emotional intelligence through the latest advances in cognitive behavioral science, evolutionary psychology, and positive psychology. While business schools and corporations are increasingly focusing on personal leadership, self-awareness, and emotional intelligence as foundations for leading others, many MBAs never had the opportunity to take a formal course in personal leadership. Joshua Spodek, MBA, PhD, has developed a two-day weekend workshop in just this area. His experiential course combines advances in cognitive behavioral science, evolutionary psychology, and positive psychology with successful business leadership…

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Healthy food mostly replaced my unhealthy food. Here’s how.

How can you expect to lead others if you can't lead yourself? This post, like most of mine, is about leadership. If you can't lead yourself, how can you expect to lead others? If you don't understand your emotions and motivations and how to create the ones you want in yourself, how do you expect to do so with others? Alternatively, the better you can lead yourself, the better you can lead others and, for that matter, yourself the next time. Since most of us want to eat differently than we do and others are constantly trying to motivate us to eat like they want us to, eating is a great place to learn leadership skills. Who do you want leading your eating habits, you…

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I’d rather be rejected for who I am than accepted for who I’m not

I've written before about on opening up, allowing yourself to be vulnerable in business and personal relationships, and the risks involved, mainly to your emotions. Probably the most important one was on my experience that choosing to care about something and to act on that caring means you'll hurt. And the more you care the more you risk getting hurt. I wrote that post, "Leadership, personal development, choosing to care, and emotional pain," on leadership and professional relationships, but you can probably tell the pain of a personal relationship prompted me writing it. I wrote about how horrible I consider small-talk in a potentially productive relationship, especially when you first meet someone in "How to stop boring everyone you meet." Sure, small talk helps in…

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