Continuing my series of alternative responses to the New York Times column, The Ethicist, looking at the consequences of one’s actions instead of imposing values on others, here is a take on today’s post,”Can I Stay Out of an Estate Dispute?” In order to decrease his net worth before beginning divorce proceedings, my brother invested $600,000 in an apartment in my father’s name. Years later, he had our mother co-sign[…] Keep reading →

Continuing my series of alternative responses to the New York Times column, The Ethicist, looking at the consequences of one’s actions instead of imposing values on others, here is a take on today’s post,”Can I Ask My Neighbors to Quiet Their Baby?“ A couple downstairs has started letting their baby cry it out. Having no kids myself, I don’t know if this is a valid parenting strategy. What I do[…] Keep reading →

Blaming other people is effective at solving problems if you can change other people and you can go back in time to change the past. For the rest of us, blame is effective at polarizing others against you and undermining relationships. If that’s your goal, I recommend it. It’s also effective at making you feel self-righteous and superior, until the polarization kicks in and you feel alienated or like you[…] Keep reading →

Continuing my series of alternative responses to the New York Times column, The Ethicist, looking at the consequences of one’s actions instead of imposing values on others, here is a take on today’s post, “Dorm Wrecker.” I’m a woman who lives in an on-campus apartment with three male roommates, one of whom was just nominated to run for president of his fraternity. If he is elected, he will be required[…] Keep reading →

I responded to some questions from someone practicing “The most effective self-awareness exercise I know” and thought the answers would help others doing the exercise. Or might help motivate people to try it if they haven’t. I think it makes sense without the question. I’ll check with the person practicing about including the question. Here’s what I wrote: The feeling that you don’t have anything to write or that your[…] Keep reading →

Has anyone said “You’re thinking too much about it,” “You care too much what other people think,” or the like? I was talking to someone about something in my life. She said one of those phrases to me. So I talked about the same thing in her life. Suddenly she became very interested in the conversation. My conclusion: Nobody says “You care too much what other people think” when you[…] Keep reading →

Continuing my series of alternative responses to the New York Times column, The Ethicist, looking at the consequences of one’s actions instead of imposing values on others, here is a take on today’s post, “The Hazards of Other Planets.” The company Mars One is trying to establish colonies on Mars by offering one-way trips there within the next 10 years. I’ve gotten into heated debates about the ethical implications of[…] Keep reading →