Category Archives: Nonjudgment

Why don’t the media and courts treat Ghislaine Maxwell like an independent woman with agency?

on December 11, 2021 in Nonjudgment

I didn’t know if I wanted to write about a tawdry subject, but I keep seeing Maxwell treated as an accomplice only when she sounds like a willing participant doing horrible things herself. [EDIT: I wrote this piece a day or two ago, then put it in the trash folder, but the articles keep continuing the pattern: not treating Maxwell as a full human. The timing may be off relative[…] Keep reading →

My brief conversation with someone smoking crack by Washington Square Park, next door to Babbo, with a twist at the end.

on November 13, 2021 in Habits, Nonjudgment, Stories

This morning as I walked to Washington Square Park to pick up litter, then to drop off my food scraps for compost in Union Square, I saw someone on the steps of a brownstone, curled up, fiddling with something. I’d seen that look before, of someone concealing doing drugs. Sometimes they pull their shirt or jacket over their heads. When not that many people are around, they just do the[…] Keep reading →

Response to a Christian reader about his friends struggling with stewardship

on November 4, 2021 in Nature, Nonjudgment

I’m sharing because after the email I sent below, I realized I’m approaching things differently. My friend, a practicing Christian, asked my thoughts: I’m wondering what you think about their idea of people working more to join or form a community to take action, rather than guilting themselves into thinking they have to do everything on their own (drive an electric car, or no car at all, not use any[…] Keep reading →

Scrubbing the floor regularly

on November 2, 2021 in Habits, Nonjudgment, SIDCHAs

Someone suggested I learn about a writer named Pico Iyer. In an interview I listened to he talked about the musician Leonard Cohen, who apparently spent time living as a monk. Cohen’s practice, according to Iyer, included scrubbing the floor. The practice doesn’t sound glamorous. You can hire someone to do it. Why bother if you can afford not to? The movie Amazing Grace, about William Wilberforce, showed John Newton[…] Keep reading →

My shameful reason for not learning to play basketball

on October 25, 2021 in Nonjudgment, Stories

Since I grew up taller than average, adults often asked if I played basketball. My parents weren’t athletic, so younger than high school, I got little experience practicing. When my mom lived on Rockland Street, an economically depressed block where we were a small minority as one of I think three white families out of about a hundred households, it was Philadelphia in the 70s. Dr. J was huge, so[…] Keep reading →

Why do so many people lecture me on what it’s like to be a straight white male?

on October 21, 2021 in Awareness, Models, Nonjudgment

Why do so many people lecture me on what it’s like to be a straight white male, and why is what they say invariably unlike my life? Do they tell other people what they should be like due to their sexuality, skin color, and sex? Why do they presume to know so much about me and what motivates them to tell me about my life? Why do they tell me[…] Keep reading →

Asking for help is leading.

on October 14, 2021 in Leadership, Nonjudgment

Do you avoid asking for help because you feel like it might present you as not knowing something you should, or lower in status than the person you ask for help? I would. I felt like it made me look ignorant and lesser. But asking someone for help is an act of leadership. It leads them to help you. I’m not saying this is a deep realization, but I think[…] Keep reading →

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