[This post is part of a series on The Model — my model for the human emotional system designed for use in leadership, self-awareness, and general purpose professional and personal development — which I find the most effective and valuable foundation for understanding yourself and others and improving your life. If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get[…] Keep reading →

[This post is part of a series on The Method to use The Model — my model for the human emotional system designed for use in leadership, self-awareness, and general purpose professional and personal development — which I find the most effective and valuable foundation for understanding yourself and others and improving your life. If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the[…] Keep reading →

People sabotage their relationships and lives without realizing it. You might too. Today’s post will tell you an effective way to make your relationships miserable and shallow, in contrast to yesterday’s post on how to get others to improve your life. People do the opposite of that post’s ideas and, lo and behold, achieve opposite results. They have apparently valid, but ultimately shortsighted and counterproductive, reasons for their behavior. Their[…] Keep reading →

Here’s some great news: you never observe or sense your world directly. Besides having limited and imperfect senses and a fading memory, your expectations influence all your observations. These limitations are not problems. On the contrary, you can use them to improve your life. After all, a good life (whatever that means to you) doesn’t come from more information or accuracy. There is infinite information and your brain is finite,[…] Keep reading →

“Does Harvard pay off?” was the title of a thread a friend posted on A Small World (and re-posted on his blog) whether a higher education was worth it. The discussion didn’t lead to a full consensus, but many people from within Harvard’s community and the Ivy League answered yes for various reasons. Based on my faithfully rewarding strategy “don’t look for blame, but take responsibility for making things better[…] Keep reading →

A friend posted on another forum about “feeling weighted” about a few recent relationships in which women felt hurt afterward. Since he had asked for advice, I gave him some, copied below. Sorry it’s out of context, but that forum is private. Some background: this response came after a couple posts stating and clarifying the issues. Not everything resonated with him, but he said he found the two paragraphs preceding[…] Keep reading →

This post is part 4 in a series including I’m continuing today the artistic representations of “What you fear losing when you stop an addiction is exactly what you’ll gain” or “You tell me what you fear losing when you stop polluting and I’ll tell you what you’ll gain” have simplified how I understand and express the emotional terrain people live in and have to navigate to act more sustainably.[…] Keep reading →