Kids learn to ski easily, before they learn to fear falling. After I learned to ski in my mid-twenties I asked my mom why they never took us skiing. She answered “We couldn’t afford that” quick enough I could almost hear an unspoken “duh!” following it up. I love skiing so much I suggested my sister take her kids while they were young. President’s Day weekend she told me she[…] Keep reading →

During orientation I learned one of business school’s most valuable lessons. I learned the first step in resolving all ethics problems. Orientation included a case study on ethics. The case involved a guy who witnessed someone else breaking a rule at a company. If he told on the employee he would escalate the problem, possibly identifying himself as not a team player, no matter how justified his actions. Remaining silent would[…] Keep reading →

Today I’ll cover one of my most liberating allegories. I don’t remember where I heard it. Some karate students asked their teacher how he always kept his balance no matter what happened. He said, “On the contrary, I’m always losing my balance. But I’m always regaining it too.” Since I learned that lesson, I stopped trying to avoid making mistakes. I say and do what I feel is right or[…] Keep reading →

Sometimes hearing something bluntly makes you realize new things in areas you thought you knew. That happened to me recently. A friend said something that dramatically improved how I thought of people and how I get to know them. The perspective becomes more liberating and improves your relationships more the more you understand it. She said, “Josh, nobody is normal.” Nobody is normal! At first I the bluntness caught me[…] Keep reading →

I like watching football. I think it shows people pushing the limits of what people can do, full of drama and excitement. People keep respond with surprise when I tell them. Frankly, it never occurred to me that anyone didn’t enjoy watching football. At least among guys. I was curious. Do I fit into the type who watches football? So how do you find out who watches a show? You[…] Keep reading →

A friend asked “Why unreservedly open your heart to anyone or anything when there is such strong potential for disappointment, failure, heartache or apocalyptic disaster”. I wrote back the following: I experimented along those lines a few years ago and ended up improving my life and nearly every relationship. I’ll share my experience in case you can use it. I won’t feel bad if you ignore it. Regarding building relationships,[…] Keep reading →

I’ve noticed many of my values differ from what I see in mainstream American culture. See how yours differ too. What I call mainstream may differ from what you call mainstream and at times I deliberately overstate the mainstream American view to parody it. Category “Mainstream” American view (oversimplified) Josh’s view (oversimplified) Jobs Horrible way to waste your time. A necessary evil we have to endure. A source of challenges[…] Keep reading →

A friend asked why guys who have trouble meeting women insult them. With the worst insults you can think of, no less. As we’ll see, not only men in that context do it. In other contexts women do it. And not just about other people. I do it. You do it. Everybody does it. What’s going on? Let’s look at the pattern. It keeps you from improving your life, so[…] Keep reading →

I gave this advice to someone I coach going through a difficult period and got feedback it was “golden.” So if you’re someone endeavoring to develop personally or professionally and making progress but feeling despair, impatience, frustration, or something similar, I hope this advice helps you. I’ve come to believe all meaningful personal development has periods of self-doubt, wondering if it’s worth it, and such. Anyone can sit on a[…] Keep reading →