Another example of a significant life-level change that happened almost instantly came from my performing in Follies in business school. You are capable of the same level of change. The scene was my second semester of business school. I had not performed on stage since third grade, thinking I didn’t want to, thoughtlessly continuing my third grade rebellious streak. When a friend told me he was thinking about joining the[…] Keep reading →

Some people look for problems; others look for solutions. The problem, to me, with people who look for problems is that they can get good at it. When you’re with them, you may find yourself surrounded by problems you never would have found otherwise. What I like about people who look for solutions is that they find them. When you are with them, you tend to enjoy yourself, unaware that[…] Keep reading →

Here’s another lesson from my stylist friend besides how fast even significant personal change can be, possibly obvious to people more stylish than me. He told me a major goal of how you dress is to polarize. At first polarizing sounded counterproductive. Polarizing in a discussion breaks down communication. Why would I want to polarize? Why would I want to repel people? He explained further. Many people dress to fit[…] Keep reading →

Myth: great personal change or development takes time. You have to understand where you are, your goals, and how to get from one place to the other. Myth: great personal change is hard. You have to overcome hurdles that take time, energy, and other resources. I believed those myths for a long time. I hear people counseling others with them all the time. Now it pains me to hear those[…] Keep reading →

Have you ever had someone suggest you calm down or take it easy? Nearly everyone has at some point. When it happens, I’d bet the person saying it was annoying. First let’s look at it from an awareness perspective, then what to do about it. Consider the situation. If they were suggesting you should calm down, you probably weren’t calm. Moreover you probably recently got un-calm. If they were talking[…] Keep reading →

An insult says more about the insulter than the insultee. People usually look like the insulter is saying something about the insultee. Usually not. An insult expresses the insulter’s emotions, directed at what brought them about. For example, if someone is insecure about their body and they see someone with a body they’d be insecure with, they might insult that person to try to feel more secure or deflect others[…] Keep reading →

Martha Graham, one of the great artists of the twentieth century — Picasso-level stature and influence in her field — entered my life late, in my 30s, when recording Julliard dancers for my art at Lincoln Center. They were perfect people to learn from, dancers actively learning her, describing a “Martha Graham revolution” I’d never heard of before. I’d feel bad about learning about her so late, but since then[…] Keep reading →