Speaking of mental chatter, most people get one of its properties backward. Doing nothing isn’t boring; it’s overwhelming. People think of doing nothing as boring, as in devoid of anything to think about or do. On the contrary, doing nothing generally overwhelms your awareness. Most people’s minds give them more to think about than they can handle. You turn on the television or read a book when you have nothing[…] Keep reading →
Another beautiful day in Jefferson Market Gardens across the street from my apartment, as pictured here. I videoed three birds taking baths in the fish pond there. Sorry about the camera-phone low quality video. Why not take a minute and a half to watch them relax in the summer weather, then listen to Bob Marley’s Three Little Birds? https://joshuaspodek.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/jefferson_market_birds1.avi “Don’t worry about a thing, ‘Cause every little thing gonna be[…] Keep reading →
People sabotage their relationships and lives without realizing it. You might too. Today’s post will tell you an effective way to make your relationships miserable and shallow, in contrast to yesterday’s post on how to get others to improve your life. People do the opposite of that post’s ideas and, lo and behold, achieve opposite results. They have apparently valid, but ultimately shortsighted and counterproductive, reasons for their behavior. Their[…] Keep reading →
It’s great to improve your life. It’s that much better to get others to improve it for you. How do you do it? Here’s one way. Share things you love. It’s enough to tell people about those things. Here’s an example. At my mom’s house over the weekend, I asked my mom about the Vitamixer she has. She bought this super-powered blender from a late-night infomercial maybe twenty years ago.[…] Keep reading →
Know thyself. Every system of improving your life has some concept of increasing your self-awareness. But what is self-awareness? People with low self-awareness, who could benefit from it most, tend to understand it least. The self self-awareness is aware of refers to something different than, say, knowing you have ten fingers and breathe air. Experience increases self-awareness best. I wrote below the most effective exercise I know of to increase[…] Keep reading →
A couple people emailed me today’s long New York Times article Do You Suffer From Decision Fatigue?. One pointed out that it echoed my post that English and romantic languages reflect the difficulty in deciding in the root -cide. On choosing The article reports research in choosing. This blog emphasizes not mere research but applying it to improve your life. I love reading research, but enjoying learning pales in comparison[…] Keep reading →
Some people ask the same boring questions of everyone they meet. They are so stuck in their ruts they don’t see what they’re doing. They guide conversations to small talk they’ve heard before and don’t care about, then wonder why people aren’t more interesting. By far the most boring, in my opinion, is So what do you do? You’ve asked it. You’ve been asked it. You’ve answered it too many[…] Keep reading →
After three posts on avoiding expressing judgment, I should clarify I don’t suggest never expressing judgment. Here are a few cases where I express judgment. Judging myself: using my criteria to evaluate myself doesn’t deprecate others’ values, for example, writing “I should clarify” above. I do take care to notice my values change, particularly when evaluating myself in the past (see my series Goodbye guilt and blame for more on[…] Keep reading →
A reader wrote, in response to Friday’s post “How to stop being so judgmental,” Thanks Joshua for the insight on judgement. I have used less negative words and have already replaced them with a more positive intake on certain topics to avoid negativity. By doing so, I have noticed a more positive reaction from peers and friends, which leads to more productive outakes on actions in a general sense. Thanks![…] Keep reading →