Another reason for yesterday’s post on avoiding acting judgmentally came from a project some people told me about called E-prime. From Wikipedia E-Prime is a version of the English language that excludes all forms of the verb to be. Hence, E-Prime allows neither conjugations of to be (am, are, is, was, were, be, been, being), nor archaic forms (e.g. art, wast, wert), nor contractions (‘s, ‘m, ‘re). Some scholars advocate[…] Keep reading →

Nobody likes feeling judged. We don’t like other people feeling so high and mighty as to judge us. I bet you’re more judgmental than you realize. Here’s how to raise your awareness of it, reduce it, annoy people less, and share more about yourself. I bet you don’t realize how judgmental you seem to others, even if you don’t intend it. Nor, I bet, do people making you feel judged[…] Keep reading →

“Women are more emotional than men.” “Men are more rational than women.” I hear such statements all the time. I think they are nonsense that only reveal that the person saying them doesn’t understand emotions. A reader emailed me about Tuesday’s post that mild emotions are still emotions and requested I “continue the insightful thread on emotional-based behavior on the blog.” I’m not sure if this post qualifies, but I[…] Keep reading →

Have you squirmed every time I used they and them as singular non-gender-specific pronouns? I squirmed every time I wrote them. For centuries English has had the problems that come with having no gender-neutral singular pronouns. No matter how you view the issue, people debate problems like “Mary saw everyone before John noticed them” (think about it). I’ve meant to discuss the issue now that I’m posting publicly consistently, mainly[…] Keep reading →

People misunderstand emotions. They describe someone as “emotional” when they seem excited. They tend to associate being “emotional” with emotions like anger or rage. Thinking that acting on only a few emotions exhausts the range of all emotions shows low self-awareness and room for improvement for those who want more self-awarenes. The better you understand emotions, the more accurately you describe them. Humans have many emotions. Not only do they[…] Keep reading →

Many people imply not caring what others think to be a virtue. They ask “Why do you care what other people think?” or say “You care too much what other people think.” People have said it to you. They’ve said it to everyone. You’ve said something like it. Well, just like suggesting to calm down or take it easy is usually a jerk move by an annoying person, pretending not[…] Keep reading →

One of my most important lessons from business school came before the first class began. It’s been useful for me since. Columbia emphasizes ethics. Orientation included a class on ethics. The case was an employee who witnesses someone breaking a rule. Reporting it would potentially harm him and certainly someone else for something that may have been minor. Not reporting it would benefit himself, but at the cost of becoming[…] Keep reading →

Another quote from the Man Ray biography reminded me of a recent post of mine on values (exercise to the reader: which recent post?). Man Ray had a number of great quotes, especially on this page and this page, relevant to my focus on understanding values and meaning. As a surrealist and dadaist, movements whose “purpose was to ridicule what its participants considered to be the meaninglessness of the modern[…] Keep reading →

Why do we create and invent? Many people enjoy creating, but can’t express why — what they get out of it or what motivates them. The masters often express these things best — mastery often requires understanding your motivations. A quote by Man Ray has stuck with me for years after first hearing it on an American Masters documentary on him. I believe it expresses a, or perhaps the, fundamental[…] Keep reading →