Most of my posts try to present ways to create more happiness and emotional reward. For once I’ll write the opposite, from which one can learn just as much. In the list below the items seem to clearly hurt relationships and your mood. For some reason when people do these things on their own they act like they’re acting productively, like when they give people unsolicited advice, they genuinely seem[…] Keep reading →

Different people mean different things by the term justice. I think of the term having at least four meanings or purposes. To deter people from committing crimes To punish people who committed crimes To give crime victims a sense of retribution To keep criminals away from society if society expects them to commit crimes again These four purposes don’t always work in concert. In any case, the United States seems[…] Keep reading →

Yesterday I showed two models for introversion and extraversion. The model you believe filters how you see the world, which will influence your feelings and behavior. I found the following test to see if you’re introverted “or” extraverted from a book. You can see it’s based on an Or model, I believe designed to show empathy for people who consider themselves introverted. From the And model it’s almost painful to[…] Keep reading →

Here is a common belief for the relationships between introversion and extraversion. I’m going to show how it worsens your life and offer an alternative you will resist and fight against, but if you keep an open mind you’ll realize explains your world more effectively and helps you to improve your life. I call it the “Or” model of introversion and extraversion for reasons you’ll see below. It says that[…] Keep reading →

I saw the following essay on the great geek forum Slashdot, a site that a decade ago published a story on the company I co-founded. The site isn’t as important as it once was, but it’s still big. I don’t know the real-world identity of the essay’s writer. I presume he or she wrote it quickly, not aiming for accuracy or to withstand heavy criticism, but to get people thinking.[…] Keep reading →

Doing business based on a handshake with someone you share mutual trust and working habits is such a joy. Working relationships like that rank with the best relationships you can have. Trust, as I don’t have to tell you, can take years to build but you can lose it in seconds, sometimes impossible to rebuild. Today I’m not going to talk about lessons. Only to commiserate on how awful doing[…] Keep reading →

I met with a friend I’ve known over a quarter-century. Like everyone, we’re getting older. You can see the younger person you first met in them. You’re reminded of your aging too. So I’ll share a few thoughts. If you’re a younger reader and this doesn’t resonate yet, one day it will. First, aging has become my main source of learning acceptance and celebration — recalling my tenet that anything[…] Keep reading →

I’ve noticed this pattern: People who suck at things tell you how awesome they are. People who are awesome at things tell you about the disasters they went through to get their skills. And those stories are usually funny, though you can feel the pain they must have felt when they happened. I think it happens more among geeky types, which I know a lot of and am one, but[…] Keep reading →

Here’s how to never look back at your life with regret. Do what you love. Conserve resources as much as you can so you don’t get distracted from what you love. Stick with it until you’re done. Ignore people who tell you to do something more reasonable. Be confident knowing that if you love it, others will love it too. Not everyone, but enough to form community. Then when you[…] Keep reading →