Choosing/Decision-Making


Everybody cares about the environment until they want to fly somewhere

Everyone says they care about the environment. Talk is cheap. How they behave tells you what they care about. If they choose themselves over something they say they care about, that tells you their priority. I talk a lot about how I try to avoid flying because the pollution it causes hurts people. When people talk about how much more first-worlders pollute more than others, flying contributes a lot. But talk to someone about taking fewer flights and you will get the most self-serving, fatuous reasons why pollution is not an issue for flying. Whatever it takes to deny to themselves how when people talk about how humans are destroying the environment for future generations, and now current generations, they themselves---likely you yourself, since most…

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My courses will lead students to leave traditional, lecture-based universities — to greater success and reward

I loved university. Studying physics, universities are about the only places to learn it. I value university for many things. They do a lot of valuable things better than any other institution or alternatives---the hard sciences, for example. It's not right for everyone and it does some things terribly. Places other than universities do some non-academic activities so much better than school. Experiential learning---how I teach leadership, entrepreneurship, sales, and hustling---is so much more effective at teaching leadership, entrepreneurship, sales, and hustling, than traditional, lecture-based education, that you could consider the latter counterproductive. Moreover, experiential courses where students create major projects can sometimes lead them to their life's great passion. I spoke with such a guy the other day. The first experiential class he took…

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I’ve been catching up my whole life

School Doing a gratitude exercise recently, writing my undergraduate advisor who helped me figure out how to major in physics starting my second semester junior year. Physics is intense so most of my classmates were younger, having known their major since high school. So academically, I was catching up with classmates from when I chose my major. I just finished the major in my last semester and got into Penn for graduate school, so I felt caught up. Graduate school brought a new level of classmates. Many of them came from abroad, where their educational systems had them take only math and science classes from fifteen or sixteen years old. Some of them had taken forty math and science classes. Columbia is a liberal arts…

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My Inc. piece today: How Beatles Producer George Martin Succeeded Where Every Label Failed

My post at Inc. today, "How Beatles Producer George Martin Succeeded Where Every Label Failed," begins: How Beatles Producer George Martin Succeeded Where Every Label Failed George Martin signed the Beatles in 1962 after every British label rejected them. How the experts missed the opportunity happens more than you think. I played Abbey Road until the stylus on my child's cheap record player destroyed each groove from Come Together to Her Majesty. I've never stopped loving The Beatles' music and still consider them my favorite musicians. George Martin, the band's producer, died yesterday at 90. It's hard to imagine that every British record label rejected them before him. It's hard to imagine music today without "The most popular and influential rock act of all time,…

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Committing makes things happen that waiting prevents

I spent years juggling three passions---my company, making art, and teaching leadership---waiting for something external to show which I should devote myself to. I was doing above average in each, but wanted to excel. The sign never came. Having said "You have to say no to a lot of good things to have a great life" many times, I decided to live by it. I chose to focus on leadership and let go of the company and the art. Suddenly the signs I had hoped to happen happened. I started getting leadership job offers, connections, clients, revenue, and so on. Why did it happen after I chose? Couldn't the signs have come before, and made deciding easier? I've used the following quote a lot recently…

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How can you find passion if you don’t try, even if you don’t know where to try?

Everyone wants to find a passion---something that engages them so much they love doing it and working on it doesn't feel like work. Most of us hold back from trying because we aren't sure what we might feel passion for. We know we don't feel passion for anything now. Maybe this, maybe that. Unsure which, and afraid of picking something we'll later learn we don't feel passion for, we don't try. Teaching people to behave entrepreneurially, I see people hold back a lot. They don't realize they're holding back, protecting their vulnerabilities. They just feel like they don't know what they want. One of the students in my online entrepreneurship course, after doing all but the last exercise, realized he wanted to take a different…

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Op/Ed Fridays: How higher education risks going the way of the dodo

An Op/Ed piece in the New York Times, "What a Million Syllabuses Can Teach Us," illustrated a perspective that will turn higher education into a dinosaur if it doesn't learn some new perspectives. It begins COLLEGE course syllabuses are curious documents. They represent the best efforts by faculty and instructors to distill human knowledge on a given subject into 14-week chunks. They structure the main activity of colleges and universities. And then, for the most part, they disappear. Do you see the dated perspective? The key words for me are "knowledge" and "activity." What's wrong with knowledge and activity? Aren't they good? Read on for a broader perspective, one that I hope and expect will overtake theirs. Regarding knowledge, centuries ago, when most were illiterate,…

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Video: Integrity means considering the results of your actions on other people

The forecast for the day after tomorrow in New York City, for mid-February, is 58 degrees Fahrenheit (14.5 C)---beyond unseasonably warm, especially after a 72 degree Christmas Eve (!!), followed by the hottest month for the planet recorded relative to normal. You know the signs we're beyond the possibility of climate change. We're in it. My version of leadership means taking responsibility for your actions and their effects on others---all the effects, not just the ones you want. However much you think pollutions happens mostly from others, not you, you contribute to it. Which means you can change your behavior to reduce how much you pollute. Even if you think you're only contributing one part in seven billion, you're responsible for one hundred percent that…

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(Video) David Allen: “I am a freedom junkie”

I wrote about David Allen's influence before, in "'I am a freedom junky' -- David Allen's inspiring words that simplified my life," which describes how I implemented his system of getting things done. His words and advice regularly come to mind and help me. They did recently when an email that would have stressed and burdened me had I not known his system. I had his book and a camera handy and tell the story of my taking a risk offending him when I met him and, instead, learning more about the book and its purpose than I could have otherwise. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CLeaxT7I8p0 How to implement Getting Things Done Read his book for the full version, but copying the important parts from my earlier post: I…

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How to Decide Without Regret in business and life

After teaching, coaching, studying, and practicing leadership for twenty years, I announced my online leadership course, "Introducing the most effective leadership course available anywhere." I'm hosting a series of free webinars on the most actionable, useful, effective, and exciting parts of the course. My webinars will always deliver exclusive, valuable lessons you can use that day and how to build for the long term. Attend my second webinar, free, this Sunday, February 14, 1pm Eastern Standard Time! All you need is an internet connection. How to Decide Without Regret ... in business and life Click to register! From the registration page: What You'll Learn in The Webinar Why deciding is hard, and it's not what you think! How to make deciding easier, even something to…

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Video: Avoid Taking a Job You Hate by Doing This in Your Interview

My post today on Inc.com, "Avoid Taking a Job You Hate by Doing This in Your Interview," begins: You could have learned in the interview why you'd hate your job if you'd had this perspective. Learn it and make your interviews productive. If you ever left a job you expected to love, or endured hating it, these words likely ring true for you: "People join good projects and leave bad management." Leaving jobs is painful and expensive. You can learn about future managers in your interview, but few people do. If you don't know better, you'll choose jobs based on what the company does, your title, your pay, the company's growth, and other things that don't affect your daily experience. In other words, "good projects." Read the rest at Inc.com:…

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Introducing the most effective leadership course available anywhere

If you read this blog, you know I care about leadership and how to improve yours---in business, personal, family, and every other part of your life. I presume you do too. As much as you've learned from the blog, you can learn more from doing. If you want to improve because you're moving up the corporate ladder, just finished school, starting your own projects, or any other reason that you have to lead people and teams, developing leadership skills from practice will improve you most effectively. Anyone can improve their ability to lead, and the most effective improvement comes from experience, not books, lectures, or case studies. Or even my blog. I created what I believe the most effective course in leadership you can find…

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Have I wrung this opportunity dry — absolutely, completely dry?

If persistence pays off, how far do you persist? How often do you persist (politely) until you've wrong an opportunity dry---absolutely, completely dry? As I wrote on Inc.com yesterday in "How to Build the Best Relationships With Both Leaders and Superiors," people appreciate helping others---if you behave like you deserve it, but not like you're entitled. A student of mine was applying to graduate school. She told me how she applied and had visited a few of the schools she was applying to. She had researched some professors she wanted to work with but hadn't contacted them---even in her number one choice school. While I recognized she had other priorities, like her current studies, I could tell she hadn't yet learned the value of persisting…

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Do you lie to yourself about your priorities?

Does this sound like a reasonable question: "Do you do things in order of importance?" I don't think it is. I suggest the question gets things backward. Your priorities don't determine what order you do things in. The order you do things in determines their priority. What you do first is your highest priority, given all your values and constraints, and if you tell yourself otherwise, you're lying to yourself. If you say, "but the project will take an hour and this other thing will only take five minutes," you're still prioritizing the other thing if you do it first because you only have time for it. That's what I mean by "given all your values and constraints." If you play a quick game of…

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Why not to ask if something is worth doing

You get chances to do cool things: classes to take, hobbies to try, relationships to develop, books to read, movies to watch, and so on. How do you decide which to do? Most people look at the new thing and ask if it's worth doing. I recommend not asking that question. There are many things worth doing in the abstract. Too many. I recommend instead asking what you'd have to stop doing to make time for it---a more discriminating question. Asking what existing things to get rid of forces you to evaluate the new thing against your values in terms of your time, your most valuable and irreplaceable resource. It prevents you from overloading your schedule. It practices "You have to say no to a…

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I haven’t settled into a routine. I created a platform to get things done.

When I got home from traveling last week, I found myself returning to many patterns and habits that traveling forced me to suspend. As I'm approaching middle age, I started to wonder if I was getting set in my ways. I want to stay young, vibrant, and effective. Could these habits mean I'm ossifying and becoming sedentary? While I could look at it that way, I find that I've found patterns that help me get things done, stay healthy, stay calm, and so on. They also relieve me of mental struggles, freeing me to solve problems that I care about, not trivial things like what to eat for breakfast. The novelty of seeing new things that comes with travel is exciting and can be fun,…

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You have too much garbage

Jack Welch said that most of his work was keeping his company entrepreneurial, preventing it from ossifying with red tape and other bureaucracy. He was very successful, in his workplace as much as outside it. I call that stuff garbage. The waste we produce as side effects of what we want. I guarantee your work life has garbage you haven't been able to get rid of. Same with your personal life. You have relationships that aren't working for you that you haven't gotten rid of and the garbage is holding you back from forming new ones. You have old processes and habits that aren't working for you. You haven't gotten rid of them either and the garbage is holding you back from forming new ones.…

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Sidchas when you’re tired and exhausted? Especially!

I can't tell you how exhausted I was when I got home yesterday. Traveling meant about five hours of sleep in the forty-eight leading to last evening's sleep. Telling a client about burpees and Sidchas recently, when I mentioned doing them when tired, drunk, or otherwise discouraged, he asked, "wait, you do them then too?", implying that for a long-term activity, you don't have to be a stickler for rules every time. After all, how much does one instance matter out of many? On the contrary, the value of the combination of the activity being self-imposed, challenging, and daily arises when faced with doing them when you don't want to. Anyone can do easy things, even some challenging things. Any one can captain a ship…

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Another reason to say no to a lot of good things to have a great life

Think of your heroes and role models. How many of them reached their greatness by doing many things in many areas at once? All the ones I can think of reached greatness by excelling in one area. After greatness they may have branched into other areas, but they all focused with discipline at first. Most people I know spread themselves thin on many projects. They don't say no to good things and therefore don't have the resources to succeed on great things. They point out how hard it is to say no to things they like. I agree. That's why so few people qualify as heroes and role models. They didn't say no to anything, lacked resources (time, money, enthusiasm, etc) to excel on what…

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To meet more valuable people, spend less time with people you know

Just back from an all-day networking event not just to meet people but for improving how you meet people I realized something new. Do you try to meet new people to improve your network? If you want to meet people who match with you more than people you already know, you have to free time from the people you know. In other words, you have to spend less time with people you know to spend more time with people who work with you more. Does that sound Machiavellian? I don't see an alternative, unless you can add more hours to your day. It's a simple result of your time being limited. You can spend less and less time with people you know until all you…

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You have two options in life

You have two options in life. Option 1 is to try, meaning actively trying at things that matter to you. If you try, things won't always work as you want and you will sometimes feel bad. Not bad like your fell and scraped your knee. Bad like what's-the-point?-Every-time-I-try-I-fail-so-why-keep-trying?-Why-bother-going-on-at-all?-I'm-a-failure-and-always-will-be bad. As far as I know, feeling that way is inevitable if you try. Option 2 is to eat cookies and ice cream and watch TV, meaning to entertain yourself passively. Your passive entertainment may come in many forms besides literal cookies and ice cream, as long as you don't have to try and make yourself vulnerable to pain. This route doesn't lead to feeling bad in the way the first option does. Some who favor actively…

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Abraham Lincoln and the unintended side-effects of leading through authority

Using authority to lead may achieve your goal but it creates unintended side-effects, nearly always counter to your goals. To you personally too. This scene in Lincoln illustrates how the side-effects can last centuries. I long wondered why people resist accepting the Civil War. Why wouldn't they celebrate ending slavery? When you motivate someone through authority, you are making them do something they don't want to do. You're threatening a worse outcome if they don't do it---firing, a bad grade, a spanking, jail, garnishing wages, etc---implying that being with you can be even worse. What are you presenting about yourself? Leading through authority motivates people to undermine your authority and resent you. This scene dramatizes Lincoln's strategy of passing a constitutional amendment to institutionalize his…

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Do you trap yourself in mental jails?

"Nice guys finish last." Alone, this thought has probably condemned many men and women to abandon being nice. Accurate or not, combined with another belief, that the alternative to being nice is to be a jerk, further condemns people to being jerks. Jerks---people with one type of poor relationship skills---even when materially successful, seem likely to face emptiness in intimacy, what many consider the most important parts of their lives. We don't like jerks around us, so we don't want others to consider us jerks and shun us. But if the alternative of finishing last seems worse, we feel rational in choosing it. Whether nice people finish last or not, you can't much control. After you try your best, competitive outcomes depend on many factors,…

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The laggard manifesto

I adopt new technologies slowly, often not at all before the trend passes. If you've ever thrown away something you felt you needed when you bought it and now can't give away, I believe you'll find doing so helps you enjoy life more. If you know that the middle of the Pacific, thousands of miles from land, has garbage polluting it, I suggest you consider slowing your adoption too. I'm not afraid of new technology. I helped build an x-ray observational satellite that's orbiting the Earth. I helped build neutrino detectors. I teach entrepreneurship to engineers. As a kid I bought an Apple 2e as soon as I could save up the money. I have six patents and built million-dollar displays with teams of engineers I…

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