A lot of people equate a depressed economy with emotional depression. The two uses of “depress” have nothing to do with each other. They can, if you connect them, but they don’t have to. If feel connected to you, they do because you connected them. But you can just as well make yourself happy or unhappy when business is growing or shrinking. Economic depressions don’t make you depressed. Nor do[…] Keep reading →

“What if the other person is boring?” People ask me this question all the time when I tell them they can attract people better, especially through genuineness and authenticity. The question reveals a belief about people I disagree with. My belief creates more friendships that are deeper and more meaningful. I’ll talk about it here. Two beliefs that create friendships I believe everyone has facets of their personality that are[…] Keep reading →

How do we become more genuine and authentic, following yesterday’s post on the value of genuineness and authenticity? I don’t have a magic bullet but I can tell you some of the major steps that helped me. I don’t claim to be the most genuine and authentic person, but I’m more so now than I was. First, I came to recognize that all these shells weren’t helping me. They seemed[…] Keep reading →

I know a trick to attract any woman. If you want to attract a man it works too. I use it regularly when I flirt and it always works. I know it works because when I tell the woman I’m flirting with what I’m doing she always says it’s working. Just to be sure I predispose her to be skeptical by telling her what I just wrote — that I[…] Keep reading →

Here’s an exercise that helps you recognize why and when you get angry sometimes. You can use it to help prevent yourself from getting angry or not blaming others. It applies for any other emotion than anger, so you can use it to prevent any emotion you don’t want and to create any emotion you do want. Step 1: Think of a time you got angry. Step 2: What did[…] Keep reading →

Here’s a quick exercise to make yourself aware of how your body handles stress, which can help you decrease stress. You’ll recognize the answers to the questions easily. The point is how to use the answers. I’ll explain how at the end. Step 1: Think of a painful experience in your life. Remember how you felt when it happened. Think of what you saw, heard, felt, tasted, etc, but especially[…] Keep reading →

People generally think of habits as bad things they want to break. On the contrary, creating habits that you want is what creating a life you want means. It’s a big part anyway. Creating habits you want frees you from trying to do things all the time. It frees you from using your limited willpower. I wrote yesterday about making behaviors you like habitual using your relationships. Today I’ll write[…] Keep reading →

Many studies show that quitting smoking and losing weight spread through networks like diseases do (see links below). Many other behavioral changes work similarly. I like academic studies, but we don’t just want information. We want to use it to improve our lives. Here’s how. Make behavior you want into habits Trying to change behavior through willpower alone doesn’t work in the long term, as my series on willpower described.[…] Keep reading →

During orientation I learned one of business school’s most valuable lessons. I learned the first step in resolving all ethics problems. Orientation included a case study on ethics. The case involved a guy who witnessed someone else breaking a rule at a company. If he told on the employee he would escalate the problem, possibly identifying himself as not a team player, no matter how justified his actions. Remaining silent would[…] Keep reading →