anecdote Archives - Page 2 of 16 - Joshua Spodek

Awareness / Blog / Leadership

Men, women, attraction, and power

Here's a conversation I had with a friend. It shows the way my physics training gets me to think that I expect others will find interesting. Remember, physics to me means respecting and appreciating nature -- not just something that happens in a laboratory, but how rainbows work, why the sky is blue, and why people are the way we are. My friend also said she found the result enlightening. Normally I don't write about men-women issues, but the way of thinking can apply elsewhere too. You'll see I had to refine my first question and then re-ask it to give clear and unambiguous answers -- like creating an experiment. Physicists like answers that you can measure. Josh: Do you think overall men find women…

July 9, 2013

Columbia’s 2013 Commencement

Blog / Education

Columbia’s 2013 Commencement

Last month Columbia invited me to walk in its big commencement for the twentieth anniversary of graduating college there. I don't often get to dress in my medieval-looking PhD cap and gown, so I accepted. If you've never seen a Columbia commencement, it's a great, stately affair with tens of thousands of graduating students and their families, all the more so when you realize how few spaces like its campus New York City has. Naturally they had me sit beside the President of the University, all of us on stage looking like a bunch of popes in our prestigious caps and gowns, discussing important matters of science and philosophy. And why have a web page if not to share the grand experience )and my cool…

June 27, 2013

Awareness / Blog / Nature

A beautiful spring day

New York City is enjoying some beautiful weather today. My building has a nice rooftop and had some friends over to enjoy the weather and view yesterday. I think people come here for the leadership thoughts... sometimes you just have to stop and enjoy the day. A few related thoughts I've posted before I clicked on to look at myself. A Beautiful Spring Day in My Neighborhood (with slide show!) A Model that Will Bring You Happiness Three Little Birds Is it not important to enjoy and explore the world around you? Now I'm off for a run along the river.

June 23, 2013

Blog

Leaving LinkedIn is easy and fun

A year or so ago I left Facebook, starting a nationwide and even global trend for others to leave it too, stating that leaving Facebook was easy and fun. Yes, I was the one who started that trend. Leaving wasn't popular yet then. Rereading that post, I see that I never logged back in to say goodbye to my connections there. I haven't missed a moment there. On the contrary, it feels weird when people talk about it because it feels like a relic from another age. When I see someone else using it, I see how much it draws you in, especially with those small but impossible-to-miss message waiting signs. Lately I've read a bunch of posts about LinkedIn's creepiness. I hardly used LinkedIn…

June 14, 2013

Blog / Freedom / Leadership

Ad hominem attacks are easy but counterproductive and best ignored

I'm following the story of the government spying more closely than most issues and writing about it here because I see it as a failure of leadership in many ways, most importantly that the system seems to be out of control with the person in charge -- the President of the United States -- exercising little accountability if not outright lying. Yesterday an opinion piece in the New York Times ignored the issues and attacked the character of the whistle-blower, using malevolent tones to insinuate problems. Today the New Yorker challenged that piece, still respecting the Times writer, as if the piece deserved respect. I don't think the piece deserved respect of serious consideration. Instead of addressing it point by point, as the New Yorker…

June 12, 2013

Awareness / Entrepreneurship / Exercises / Models / Tips

Four models on entrepreneurship that counter discouraging myths

[This post is part of a series on "Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours." If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] Do you think about starting a company? Or something else entrepreneurial, like starting and leading a project where you work, a community-based project, or the like? Do you also hold yourself back? Do you fear it might not go well? Or worry you're not doing it right? Or feel like you should prepare more for it? Today I'll cover four discouraging myths about entrepreneurship and four encouraging beliefs that counter them. Having started a business out of school, presenting on entrepreneurship…

June 4, 2013

Awareness / Exercises / Nonjudgment / Perception

A model to tolerate when people pre-judge me

[This post is part of a series on "Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours." If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] Doesn't it bother you when someone treats you like a preconceived notion instead of the person you are? Doesn't it feel dehumanizing? Today's belief came from an experience I had riding a bike as a kid and helps me visualize what happens and resolve the problem. I was riding near some trolley tracks. When I crossed them at a slight angle my front wheel fell into the track, making it impossible to steer. The bike and I fell down. If I…

May 30, 2013

Awareness / Education / Exercises / Models / Tips

A model to identify the parts of your life most ripe for improvement

[This post is part of a series on "Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours." If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] Today's model has special meaning to me because realizing it set me to learning about anxiety, the first emotion I started to learn analyzing to understanding emotional intelligence and self-awareness. I hope it inspires you as much as it did me. Context It started with performing on stage for the class play in business school. Months before the performance I wrote a sketch for Follies, the business school class play. It's mostly inside jokes for business school students, not high art,…

May 28, 2013

Blog / Exercises / Models / Tips

A model to replace jerks with people who improve your life

[This post is part of a series on "Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours." If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] Who hasn't had to deal with an annoying coworker? Or boss? Or family member? ... someone you couldn't get away from and had to treat respectfully, no matter what you felt about them? I once worked on a consulting project for a company with a difficult-to-work-with (to put it mildly) CEO. He was friendly before the project started, and you could see how he brought in clients, but I found him overbearing with his team. Soon after the project started I…

May 22, 2013

Blog / Exercises / Models

A model to help get you in better shape

[This post is part of a series on "Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours." If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] Today's belief counteracts a common trend I see about exercise. I forget if I've written about my impressions of seeing five-kilometer walks in Central Park with water stations and ambulances. While I support being prepared, I can't help but wonder if the suggestion that a five-kilometer walk could be a health risk might stop more people from exercising than these walks promote. I'm sure there are people for whom walking five kilometers could be a risk, but I imagine they would…

May 17, 2013

Exercises / Freedom / Models / Nonjudgment / Perception / Tips

A model to help accept things without judgment or feeling sorry for yourself

[This post is part of a series on "Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours." If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] Do you find yourself feeling sorry for yourself and not like feeling that way? Do you get depressed or feel helpless when things don't go your way? Do you wish you could take things in stride better so you could move on from or solve problems and get on to better times? A model to help accept things without judgment or feeling sorry for yourself: "Good thing bad thing, who knows?" Here's an old story that comes in many versions (here…

May 14, 2013

Awareness / Blog / Leadership / Tips

A model to live like beautiful people do

[Today is the forty-second in a series on daily and weekly beliefs that improve my life and may improve yours, in no particular order. See the introduction to the series and the value of flexibility in beliefs for background.] People commonly believe that beautiful women have better lives than everybody else and that they have access to more valuable things. I came across that belief a lot when I used to go out dancing a lot. The evidence seemed overwhelming -- they automatically get invited to the best parties, they get past the doorpeople, men buy them drinks if the club doesn't already give them, and so on. In regular life, studies show attractive people get paid more, get promoted more, and so on. Sounds…

May 13, 2013

Awareness / Exercises / Models

A model to keep you from being manipulated by the media

[This post is part of a series on "Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours." If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] Does reading or watching the news enrage you? Does it depress you? Make you feel outraged or helpless or scared? As much as the news media presents itself as something you need to participate as a citizen in society, they always have at least this goal: to sell more ads. They can separate the news from the business section all they want, but everyone knows what sells. Walk into any newsroom and they'll tell you they have to make an emotional…

May 10, 2013

Awareness / Exercises / Models / Tips

A model to enjoy things more and promote future success

[This post is part of a series on "Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours." If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] Today's model is simple. It helps you enjoy things more. I'm going to state it very simply about something I like a lot, but it generalizes to everything in life that you like. And the more you use it to enjoy things more, the more you bring things into your life you enjoy. And you can use it with emotions other than joy. Anything you like. I find the model works especially well in improving relationships. I'll explain why in a…

April 24, 2013

Exercises / Habits / Models / Tips

A model to make problems go away

[This post is part of a series on "Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours." If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] Have you notices some people never seem to have problems? And others seem to complain all the time about their misery? Today's model will help you become part of the group that doesn't have problems. I've come to believe that some people look for problems in life. Others look for solutions. I consider it tragic that both types of people get good at what they do. Practice makes perfect. A model to make problems go away: Some people look for problems.…

April 22, 2013

Awareness / Exercises / Models / Tips

A belief to promote integrity and authenticity

[This post is part of a series on "Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours." If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] Do you rank integrity as one of your highest values? How much integrity do you have? Today's model hit me one day accidentally, but since it did, I've held it closely. One day after talking to someone I got into an elevator alone. As I did I noticed I slouched because no one was there. Rather I didn't do it for a reason, I just did, subconsciously thinking it didn't matter because no one could see. Then for some reason it…

April 18, 2013

How to win an NBA championship if you’re a 66-year-old grandmother

Exercises / Fitness / Models / Tips

How to win an NBA championship if you’re a 66-year-old grandmother

[This post is part of a series on "Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours." If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] Today's post illustrates yesterday's model instead of introducing a new one. It's one of my favorite illustrations from my leadership seminar. It shows that with flexibility in your beliefs and understanding your emotions you can bring anything to your life that anyone else can bring to theirs. Winning an NBA championship Say you want to win an NBA championship. What exactly do you want? It's not possession of the trophy, which is just a physical object. It's not even necessarily to…

April 12, 2013

Awareness / Entrepreneurship / Exercises / Models / Tips

A model on achieving goals: The Samurai Walk

[This post is part of a series on "Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours." If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] You want to do something meaningful. You know it will take resources -- time, energy, attention, etc. You have your goals. You have a general plan. So far so good. Most people get this far. How do you finish your project? How do you stick with it despite inevitable distractions? Would you be amazed to find you can use those distractions in your favor? Today's model gives an effective way to work on something, keeping your goals in mind, avoiding getting…

April 9, 2013

Education / Exercises / Leadership / Models / Tips

Top models and strategies for negotiating

[This post is part of a series on "Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours." If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] You negotiate every day. If you think you only negotiate when you're buying a car or creating a deal, you don't realize you negotiate every time you decide with a friend where to get lunch, with your spouse what movie to see, with your boss if you can work from home another day per week. Any interaction with some give and take involves negotiation. And if you think of negotiation as each of you trying to beat the other, you'll miss…

April 4, 2013

Awareness / Exercises / Models / Tips

My experience doing yesterday’s exercise and what it means to you

[This post is part of a series on "Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours." If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] Since my results surprised me, I bet your results will surprise you when you do yesterday's exercise to record your beliefs (aka mental models or just models). First, the quantity. I felt like I had five or ten main models that I used a lot. I had about sixty or seventy. So the mental world I live in, from my mind's eye, is more complex than I thought. Next, how new they are -- that is, most of them aren't more…

March 31, 2013

Blog

On giving unsolicited advice

A friend asked, "Do you like to give unsolicited advice?" I said, "When I want to annoy people and have them tell me to mind my own business."

March 29, 2013

How not to overspend on things you don’t want

Blog / Entrepreneurship / Fitness / Leadership

How not to overspend on things you don’t want

I can't resist reposting a comment I posted on the forum of one of my favorite other blogs, Mr. Money Mustache. I'm reposting it because two other readers rated my response highly, one giving my response this animated image, making me proud. The post I responded to Alright mustachians [the term for people in the Mr. Money Mustache community who practice his principles of not spending money on stuff that doesn't improve your life] I need your sage advice. In the last three months I have really cut down on my bad habits. I pack my own lunch to work every day. I broke up with cable. I stopped ordering books from amazon on a regular basis. I changed my eating habits from quick and…

March 28, 2013

Awareness / Blog

We proved each other wrong… and right.

Sometimes being proved wrong improves your life. This story is one of them. Actually, my friend and I both proved each other wrong and it worked out well. If you've been reading this page, you know how much I value self-awareness and emotional intelligence. I've worked hard to develop resilience to feeling bad when things don't go my way. I like being able to stay calm under pressure. I have a great friend -- a borderline celebrity whose identity is important enough I can't mention it in this context -- but we've been friends for years. Why can't I mention her name? Because, and I don't think she'd disagree with me for saying this, she's crazy. When I met her she had been diagnosed with…

March 27, 2013

Blog / Fitness / Tips

How to avoid temptation

Today's post will sound like it's about food, but it's about a lot more. The other day I was at a party with a great spread -- rich, delicious food and a lot of it: cheese, crackers, chips, cake, ice cream, and so on. I liked eating some, but realized I didn't want to eat too much. But everyone was talking around the food table and I find it hard not to eat delicious food right in front of you that everyone else is eating too. So I used my favorite strategy anyone can use to avoid eating too much of what they don't want. I didn't try not to eat the rich foods. I didn't try to eat less at all. I found the…

March 26, 2013

Blog

I felt miserable this morning. Then I got out of it.

[This post is part of a series on my daily exercise and starting and keeping challenging habits. If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] How do you handle miserable days? I think today started like many people's does. I don't know how most people handle down days, but I'll share a typical case that I think could apply universally. People sometimes tell me I always seem in a good mood. I have to point to Marshall Goldsmith, his trademark phrase "Be happy now," and his practices that back it up as having inspired me to realize how much you can take control of your emotions.…

March 24, 2013

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