Someone I’m coaching wrote the following: I will be graduating from college in May, and I am trying to decide which two cities I should move to after graduation. I’ve been wanting to move to NYC ever since I first visited in high school and been going there ever since. On the other hand, everyone that I know tells me that I should move to LA instead and think I[…] Keep reading →

The past two days covered the how we can be judgmental without meaning it — first with clearly judgmental language, then with implicitly judgmental words. Today let’s look at exercises to change. My normal first step for change is to start by building awareness. In this case, changing builds awareness so much and the exercises are so easy (they don’t involve anyone else), I recommend just starting with the change.[…] Keep reading →

Some people look for problems; others look for solutions. The problem, to me, with people who look for problems is that they can get good at it. When you’re with them, you may find yourself surrounded by problems you never would have found otherwise. What I like about people who look for solutions is that they find them. When you are with them, you tend to enjoy yourself, unaware that[…] Keep reading →

Here’s another lesson from my stylist friend besides how fast even significant personal change can be, possibly obvious to people more stylish than me. He told me a major goal of how you dress is to polarize. At first polarizing sounded counterproductive. Polarizing in a discussion breaks down communication. Why would I want to polarize? Why would I want to repel people? He explained further. Many people dress to fit[…] Keep reading →

If you know what you love and you do things you love, you may not be able to succeed by other people’s measures of success, but you’ll know you’ll never look back at what you did with regret. It’s difficult to imagine looking back and saying, “Darn, while everyone else was [doing whatever they do], I wasted all that time doing things I loved.” If you don’t know what you[…] Keep reading →

A friend posted on another forum about “feeling weighted” about a few recent relationships in which women felt hurt afterward. Since he had asked for advice, I gave him some, copied below. Sorry it’s out of context, but that forum is private. Some background: this response came after a couple posts stating and clarifying the issues. Not everything resonated with him, but he said he found the two paragraphs preceding[…] Keep reading →

I’ll get back to my series on creativity soon. A post I put on one of my online communities seemed relevant here. If anyone here has comments, I’d value them. I just finished reading Making It All Work, David Allen‘s book after Getting Things Done. Then cleaned almost a meter of old books off my shelf that were dead weight. Feels great! I remember this community having some GTD aficionados.[…] Keep reading →

The Worst problem In The World is two people with different standards who don’t realize their standards differ evaluating each other and acting on their evaluation. This is not hyperbole. Think of a recent news headline involving conflict. It was probably a variation of The Worst Problem In The World. Many significant conflicts in the world are either solvable or are variations of The Worst Problem In The World. Many[…] Keep reading →

Do you feel if you don’t deal with difficult things you’re denying or avoiding reality? Does that bring you down or make you feel irresponsible? Does that compel you to do things you don’t want to? Here’s how to make sure you don’t. After a conversation last night, my friend said she looked at enjoying life in a whole new way for the better. Let’s start with an analogy. On[…] Keep reading →