[This post is part of a series on empathy gaps. If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] A second post from the book Willpower… Leading yourself and others requires foreseeing that doing something hard feels harder, longer, more frustrating, and so on than you expect. At the beginning you say,[…] Keep reading →

During orientation I learned one of business school’s most valuable lessons. I learned the first step in resolving all ethics problems. Orientation included a case study on ethics. The case involved a guy who witnessed someone else breaking a rule at a company. If he told on the employee he would escalate the problem, possibly identifying himself as not a team player, no matter how justified his actions. Remaining silent would[…] Keep reading →

Think of what you want in life — from work, play, relationships, etc. Now think of what you already have in those areas. Many people evaluate their lives by what they have. Great. What you have doesn’t tell you as much as what you can create. What you have describes the culmination of a past you can’t change. The ingredients to create — usually skills more than material possessions —[…] Keep reading →

Discretion is the better part of valor yet quitters always lose. When do you give up on a project you love that’s going nowhere and when do you give more to make it work? Both ideas make sense in different situations. I learned an answer that has worked well for me every time. Entrepreneurs face such questions all the time. Small companies often walk the line between abject failure and[…] Keep reading →

Today I’ll cover one of my most liberating allegories. I don’t remember where I heard it. Some karate students asked their teacher how he always kept his balance no matter what happened. He said, “On the contrary, I’m always losing my balance. But I’m always regaining it too.” Since I learned that lesson, I stopped trying to avoid making mistakes. I say and do what I feel is right or[…] Keep reading →

A friend asked why guys who have trouble meeting women insult them. With the worst insults you can think of, no less. As we’ll see, not only men in that context do it. In other contexts women do it. And not just about other people. I do it. You do it. Everybody does it. What’s going on? Let’s look at the pattern. It keeps you from improving your life, so[…] Keep reading →

I gave this advice to someone I coach going through a difficult period and got feedback it was “golden.” So if you’re someone endeavoring to develop personally or professionally and making progress but feeling despair, impatience, frustration, or something similar, I hope this advice helps you. I’ve come to believe all meaningful personal development has periods of self-doubt, wondering if it’s worth it, and such. Anyone can sit on a[…] Keep reading →