A model on achieving goals: The Samurai Walk

[This post is part of a series on “Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours.” If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] You want to do something meaningful. You know it will take resources -- time, energy, attention, etc. You have your goals. You have a general plan. So far so good. Most people get this far. How do you finish your project? How do you stick with it despite inevitable distractions? Would you be amazed to find you can use those distractions in your favor? Today's model gives an effective way to work on something, keeping your goals in mind, avoiding getting…

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A model for stress that calms you down

[This post is part of a series on “Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours.” If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] Does the world stress you out? Do people and things cause you stress? Do you get even more stressed at your helplessness to reduce how stressful the world is? Do you get even more frustrated and depressed at your bad luck that you had to be born at a time when the world was so stressful? Would you be glad to know you can decrease all that stress? No medicine required. You don't have to change anything except your beliefs. But…

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A model to get people to show up on time for you: everybody gets fifteen minutes

[This post is part of a series on "Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours." If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] Do you get annoyed at people showing up late? That they don't respect you by wasting your time showing up late, when you respected them for showing up on time? I used to fume at people showing up late. Fume! Then I tested a strategy that works so well, I never again had a problem with people showing up late. If I hadn't tried it I never would have believed it. For that matter, I would have fought against it. In…

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A model to allow yourself to fail, which gives you freedom to succeed

[Today is the fifth in a series on my daily and weekly beliefs, in no particular order. See the introduction to the series and the value of flexibility in beliefs for background.] Do you ever not do something for fear you'll fail at it? You've probably heard the phrase that the perfect is the enemy of the good. You may also have noticed that people who achieve greatness don't do things perfectly. How do you become great if you don't do everything perfectly? Here's a model I use to allow yourself to do something without worrying too much about failing -- ironically, the best way to succeed. It's one of my most important ones I think about almost daily. It fits with my practice of having…

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A simple, effective strategy for improving yourself — probably the best I know, and it’s totally free: Feedforward

[This post is part of a series on Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours. If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] What if I told you the best way for you to improve yourself takes two minutes, costs nothing, and people will feel honored and flattered to help you with it? And you can do it anytime. Sound too good to be true? It's not. Read on. Oh, and make sure you get to the section on when I use it for how using it can help in your most important relationships at the most important times. Have you noticed the one…

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Top models and strategies for negotiating

[This post is part of a series on “Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours.” If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] You negotiate every day. If you think you only negotiate when you're buying a car or creating a deal, you don't realize you negotiate every time you decide with a friend where to get lunch, with your spouse what movie to see, with your boss if you can work from home another day per week. Any interaction with some give and take involves negotiation. And if you think of negotiation as each of you trying to beat the other, you'll miss…

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A belief to choose without getting mired in indecision

[This post is part of a series on “Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours.” If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] Do you ever get stuck unable to choose among options? Do you wish you could just go with something and be done with the choice? I found a couple useful models to help me choose. Model for choosing 1: my skiing model for choosing I wrote a few times about this model. Here's the most comprehensive post on it. Briefly, the model is this: when you ski a slope, the path forks, and you can't tell which path you'd enjoy more,…

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A belief to motivate trying new things

[This post is part of a series on “Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours.” If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] Are you nervous to try new things? Do you wish you tried more things? Do you see others enjoying things you're too scared to try? I found a way to motivate trying new things. My model to try new things: I have low standards the first time. That is, the first time I do something, I consider it successful if I just do it at all, not by how well I do it. I wrote about this model almost two years…

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Should you change your beliefs? Or at least consider alternatives?

[This post is part of a series on “Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours.” If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] Say you have an identical twin and you walk into a party together. Now say your twin finds the party fun while you find the it boring and yourself in a miserable mood. Same party. Similar backgrounds and abilities. You'd rather have fun than be miserable. Why are in different moods and what can you do about it? You could say it's just your mood and moods are random, but can we say more? Since you and your twin have roughly equal…

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