There are a lot of things worth paying attention to and spending time on trying to affect. If you can’t or won’t do anything about something you don’t like, it doesn’t improve your life to worry about it or to take time away from something you like or can do something about. You can call it “choosing your battles” or “discretion is the better part of valor.” If you’re taking[…] Keep reading →
People considering personal change often express concern about losing friends. If they change their behavior and habits they won’t be able to hang out with the same people in the same way any more. I’ve gone through a lot of personal change. I’ve met many people who have. I’ve coached many people through it. Through it all, I’ve never met someone who regretted changing their social circle. Most wished they’d[…] Keep reading →
“I’m stuck because I can’t find a job in pharmacology.” “I don’t like law but what else can I do?” “I wish I could get out of engineering.” I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard people talk this way. People about to graduate looking for jobs and people in the workforce alike. Even people from elite universities. They believe you have to make a living in what they[…] Keep reading →
This morning I read New York magazine’s weekly listing of bars and restaurants, describing fun places in the city to go to. They have a section listing some activities called “The Cut,” which I think means these are the activities that “make the cut” of their curating. I used to read the listings to find things to do. The section is for that, and I presume many people use it[…] Keep reading →
Following up on “Passions, you create,” which I recommend rereading, where I wrote about passion not being something you happen to find, like if you just turned over enough rocks you’d find it… Everyone has the same potential to develop passions, as far as I can tell. If all you do is turn over rocks but never dig in—that is, look at what others do and think about those things[…] Keep reading →
Minutes after posting yesterday “If you have “too much to do†or “not enough time,†you’re not getting more done. You’re annoying.“, I realized I overstated myself. I realized it because I met a friend working on a small number of projects and getting them done, but still busy. I realized I wrongly included him and people like him who know their priorities in the larger group of people who[…] Keep reading →
I first noticed it in the last semester of business school when most students were complaining about having to choose between job offers. All the offers more than met their standards. Dwelling in their decisions instead of choosing and living their lives made them miserable instead of enjoying themselves. What made them miserable wasn’t that they had multiple offers—that is, the problem didn’t come from outside. The problem was their[…] Keep reading →