In this blog I try to cover what I consider one of the main skills of leading others and yourself — the ability to manage your emotions no matter what comes your way. It shows up in many ways. One of the simplest is the phrase I use a lot: Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. … as I wrote about in my posts “A model to handle pain” and[…] Keep reading →

I wrote before about “Business school’s first major lesson: how to resolve ethical dilemmas.” Today I’ll talk about another important lesson I learned in business school, also within the first couple weeks, also applying in many places in life I would not have expected from a vocational school. Context First I have to note my mindset before starting business school. I considered the most relevant parts of my life that[…] Keep reading →

Have you noticed that people who behave wildly differently can still base their behavior on the same underlying philosophies? Or that people who behave similarly can also base their behavior on different philosophies? Pick a way people behave and you’ll find people saying that behavior comes from any source. For example, among the most peaceful people some base their behavior on being religious, some on being atheist, some on not[…] Keep reading →

[This post is part of a series on my daily exercise and starting and keeping challenging habits. If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] Emotionally, I don’t want to do burpees nearly every single time I do them. As you probably know, I do twenty twice-daily. Starting is never easy.[…] Keep reading →

[Last week I posted a five-part series on a mental model I have for how our passion and attraction grows and wanes over time and the consequences of that pattern, according to the model. Today I’m posting them all in one post.] Day 1: Introducing a new model: Passion and Attraction I’m starting a new series today on a new model, this time on passion and attraction. Everyone I showed[…] Keep reading →

Time I put a lot more time into making the graphs and writing the posts of the past week than usual — at least a couple full days just graphing before writing a word. Why Why did I put so much time in? Not because I didn’t have lots to do. Because people who saw early versions of the graphs told me it helped them better understand Their intimate relationships[…] Keep reading →

What can we learn from the Passion-Attraction Model? While the model can apply to everyone, we each have different values and circumstances, so we each have to choose for ourselves how to live our lives and act in relationships. Understanding the Passion-Attraction Model and its consequences can help you understand yourself and your partners, on your own and in relationships if you feel it describes you well. (If you don’t,[…] Keep reading →