I say these words to myself daily or nearly so. I’ve posted them before and I expect I will again. They bear repeating and deserve a post to themselves. You have to say no to a lot of good things to have a great life. I don’t see declining an opportunity as giving it up so much as giving myself more time and resources for something I value more. I[…] Keep reading →

I’ve written before about on opening up, allowing yourself to be vulnerable in business and personal relationships, and the risks involved, mainly to your emotions. Probably the most important one was on my experience that choosing to care about something and to act on that caring means you’ll hurt. And the more you care the more you risk getting hurt. I wrote that post, “Leadership, personal development, choosing to care,[…] Keep reading →

I think my response to a client‘s email would be valuable for anyone. I don’t think many people make the progress he’s making and I think his doing it could inspire others. I know he inspires me. He didn’t come to me for personal insecurities or shame. He came to improve his life in other ways. Only once he started making progress there he realized things that he was holding[…] Keep reading →

One of this blog’s central focuses is self-awareness because I think to improve your life and relationships the best starting point is to know where you are. Know thyself, in other words. Today I want to give you a way to learn deeply about how your mind works. I didn’t come up with the idea, but it intrigues me and I’d love to learn other people’s thoughts. I think people[…] Keep reading →

I write a lot here about how counterproductive judging others or imposing your values on them is for leadership or influencing them. (Here are five posts on it, for example: Instead of calling something right, wrong, good, or bad, consider the consequences of your actions, What is morality?, On the counterproductivity of motivating people with guilt and blame — aka moralizing, Talking about “truth” or “reality” always confuses things, How[…] Keep reading →

[This post is part of a series on “Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours.” If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] This series covered a lot about flexibility with your beliefs — the ability to try out believing something new and letting the new belief crowd out[…] Keep reading →

[This post is part of a series on “Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours.” If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] Do you find yourself feeling sorry for yourself and not like feeling that way? Do you get depressed or feel helpless when things don’t go your[…] Keep reading →

[This post is part of a series on “Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours.” If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] The movie Moneyball and the book it’s based on illustrate how new beliefs take root and can challenge and crowd out your old beliefs. Today’s post[…] Keep reading →

[This post is part of a series on “Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours.” If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] How would you like for everything in your life to look better and for everyone to treat you better? For everything in your life to improve?[…] Keep reading →