You probably write better emails than I do. I’ve been getting better and thought I’d share a process that’s helped me improve. It came from experience and I thought about it writing an email just now. I wrote today’s post secondarily to show how to improve emails if you write like I do before the last step, but primarily to illustrate a mindset: My mindset when communicating with others: To[…] Keep reading →

I’ll share today an unexpected and curious way to tell how much intimacy you have with someone and an effective way to increase it. By intimacy, I mean any kind of intimacy, which could be in a professional, friendly, romantic, or any other type of relationship. Intimacy increases trust and decreases friction between people so it’s valuable to have. Knowing how much you have tells you how closely you can[…] Keep reading →

Today’s post is a new exercise I made up that I found improved my thought patterns. It’s simple and takes no time, money, or other resources. Just your attention. It combines three things that work for me: changing words to change you thoughts, celebrating what you accept, and a property about truth. Ingredient 1: changing words changes your thoughts I’ve written about simple exercises to change a few words here[…] Keep reading →

We’ve all heard someone say “That’s not art. I could do it.” Maybe you said it yourself. The comment can lead to interesting discussion on what makes art, but rarely. It can lead you to realizing that the value of art doesn’t depend on how hard it was to create. The usual response is “Well, you didn’t. And they did it first.” I suggest a new response. If the person[…] Keep reading →

A pattern I’ve noticed works a lot in life: When everyone is going in one direction, try going as far as you can in the opposite direction. Some examples: When car companies kept making bigger and more dominant SUVs, the Prius did well. In retrospect it seems obvious, but the car appeared nearly alone and successful in the U.S. market for years before other cars competed meaningfully. Now Smart Cars[…] Keep reading →

The other day I wrote about how annoying someone saying “Why are you getting hung up on just one word?” sounded. Then I noticed a friend using some other annoying words and phrases in conversation that sounded annoying and decided to share them here. I don’t think she realized how annoying she was. So I put a few more annoying things, not as a how-to, but for people who might[…] Keep reading →

[This post is part of a series on Communication Skills Exercises for Business and Life. If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] I’ve written a bunch of times on the exercise I made up to avoid using judgmental words, particularly good, bad, right, wrong, and evil, but also balanced, better,[…] Keep reading →

[Today’s post is an alternative introduction to my series on beliefs and how to change them. It gives a different, more team-oriented approach.] A major tool of leadership is setting the common beliefs and models of your team. Some examples: The head of a corporation may decide that the company’s highest priority is product quality when it used to be customer service. Or may decide it is a consumer electronics[…] Keep reading →

[This post is part of a series on “Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours.” If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] The great business guru Peter Drucker illustrated how different people find different value and meaning from their work (and lives) through the parable of the three[…] Keep reading →