Exercises / Fitness / Freedom / Humor / Models / Tips

A model to make you more intelligent and free

[This post is part of a series on "Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours." If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] I once spoke with a psychologist who specialized in intelligence. She told me that flexibility in how one sees the world is a major part of intelligence. At first I didn't see the connection, but then it made sense. The more ways you can look at a problem, the more ways you can try to solve it. By contrast, if you limit the number of ways you see something, you limit the number of ways you can solve it. Most people…

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April 27, 2013

Awareness / Exercises / Models / Tips

A model to simplify

[This post is part of a series on "Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours." If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] Do you ever have more stuff than you need? Do you find yourself susceptible to people selling things that you later realize you don't need? When I realized how little stuff improved my life and how much it got in the way, I found myself wanting things. Today I offer a belief that helps me look at acquiring things skeptically. A model for simplifying life: We've found almost nothing in the past few thousand years to improve our quality of life.…

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April 26, 2013

Exercises / Freedom / Models / Tips

A model to avoid or overcome frustration

[This post is part of a series on "Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours." If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] Do you get more frustrated than you'd like? Do you give up early? Do you wish you could have more optimism? Do you wish you could be more resilient to problems and challenges? Today's belief is something I say almost daily. Sometimes I mutter it to myself, sometimes I say it out loud. I've come to behave as if it's true even though I can't prove it. I say it like others say "c'est la vie" or "that's the way it…

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April 25, 2013

Awareness / Exercises / Models / Tips

A model to enjoy things more and promote future success

[This post is part of a series on "Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours." If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] Today's model is simple. It helps you enjoy things more. I'm going to state it very simply about something I like a lot, but it generalizes to everything in life that you like. And the more you use it to enjoy things more, the more you bring things into your life you enjoy. And you can use it with emotions other than joy. Anything you like. I find the model works especially well in improving relationships. I'll explain why in a…

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April 24, 2013

Exercises / Habits / Models / Tips

A model to make problems go away

[This post is part of a series on "Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours." If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] Have you notices some people never seem to have problems? And others seem to complain all the time about their misery? Today's model will help you become part of the group that doesn't have problems. I've come to believe that some people look for problems in life. Others look for solutions. I consider it tragic that both types of people get good at what they do. Practice makes perfect. A model to make problems go away: Some people look for problems.…

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April 22, 2013

Awareness / Choosing/Decision-Making / Exercises / Models / Tips

A model to improve your environment

[This post is part of a series on "Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours." If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] How would you like for everything in your life to look better and for everyone to treat you better? For everything in your life to improve? Today's belief is one of the most powerful you can have, as is the strategy it leads to. People also happen to oppose it the most. When I state it simply and abstractly, they agree with it. When I apply it to them, they push back against it. You will too. If I can take…

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April 21, 2013

Blog / Creativity / Education

More about becoming more creative

Flavorpill -- the social discovery engine and curated event marketplace that keeps you tapped into the cultural happenings around you and lets you find and follow things you like, see what your friends are into, and, if so inspired, get off the computer and go out -- posted my creativity seminar next Wednesday, April 24, 6pm-9pm. Very prestigious. Check it out. Then sign up! I look forward to seeing you there.

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April 19, 2013

Awareness / Exercises / Models / Tips

A model for living every moment to its fullest

[This post is part of a series on "Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours." If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] Do you enjoy every moment of your life? Do you wish you could? Have you ever felt like you wasted a lot of your life? Do you wish you hadn't? Do you wonder how you could live more in the moment? Today's model shows you how. It comes from an unlikely source. You might know about the researchers who asked people who won huge lotteries and people who just had accidents leading to becoming quadriplegic how happy they were (you should…

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April 19, 2013

Awareness / Exercises / Models / Tips

A belief to promote integrity and authenticity

[This post is part of a series on "Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours." If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] Do you rank integrity as one of your highest values? How much integrity do you have? Today's model hit me one day accidentally, but since it did, I've held it closely. One day after talking to someone I got into an elevator alone. As I did I noticed I slouched because no one was there. Rather I didn't do it for a reason, I just did, subconsciously thinking it didn't matter because no one could see. Then for some reason it…

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April 18, 2013

Art / Blog / Creativity / Education / Tips

How to become more creative — proven! … Wednesday April 24, 6pm-9pm, Manhattan

Next Wednesday, 6pm-9pm I'm giving my first seminar through Skillshare, a company that organizes classes. If you're near Manhattan and you want to become more creative, you should come. The class is called Systematic Creativity. When I say it teaches proven ways to increase your creativity, I mean it. It comes from one of the best courses I took at Columbia Business School by one of the top creativity researchers, who also started a successful consulting company on becoming more creative that works with many Fortune 500 companies. Several classmates called it the best class they took there. Wednesday will cover the highlights of the class -- especially exercises to become more creative demolishing creativity myths that hold people back It will be very interactive…

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April 17, 2013

Exercises / Leadership / Models

A model to rid your life of guilt and blame in favor of getting things done

[This post is part of a series on "Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours." If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] Do you get that guilt and blame don't help your life but you can't stop yourself from blaming others sometimes and feeling guilty other times? Do you wish you could get over feeling guilty for things you can't change? Do you want to stop getting into arguments and losing friendships over blaming them? Today's model almost completely removed my habit of blaming others and of blaming myself, which led to guilt. I wrote about this topic at length about two years…

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April 16, 2013

Exercises / Freedom / Models / Tips

A model and strategy for getting things done

[This post is part of a series on "Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours." If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] Do you ever have so much to do you can't figure out where to start? Or you bounce between things, unable to complete them? Most importantly, does the stress of having things to do make you miserable? I found a strategy for handling things that worked pretty well, but reading the book Getting Things Done by David Allen refined it. I wrote about it recently. A model for getting things done: Your mind fixates on obligations it wants to remember, distracting…

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April 15, 2013

Awareness / Exercises / Freedom / Models / Nature / Tips

A model to free yourself from being categorized

[This post is part of a series on "Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours." If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] Do you like being judged and put into a box? Do you like being told you can't change things about yourself that limit you from living the best life you can? Do you like it when these categories have no scientific basis? Personality traits, types, and dispositions are models that I don't find helpful. A model to free yourself from being categorized: personality types and traits have little to no validity I'm sure people will attack me on this belief. When…

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April 13, 2013

Exercises / Fitness / Models / Tips

How to win an NBA championship if you’re a 66-year-old grandmother

[This post is part of a series on "Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours." If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] Today's post illustrates yesterday's model instead of introducing a new one. It's one of my favorite illustrations from my leadership seminar. It shows that with flexibility in your beliefs and understanding your emotions you can bring anything to your life that anyone else can bring to theirs. Winning an NBA championship Say you want to win an NBA championship. What exactly do you want? It's not possession of the trophy, which is just a physical object. It's not even necessarily to…

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April 12, 2013

Exercises / Models / Tips

A model to motivate success instead of feeling sorry of yourself

[This post is part of a series on "Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours." If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] Do you envy others' achievements? Or happiness? Or true love? Or something someone else has that eludes you? Today's belief helps keep me resilient to feeling bad in such cases and motivates me to improve my life. I expect it will work for you too. A model for what you can do: Anything one person can do I can too I believe that for anything important in life, anything someone else can do, I can too. I don't think anyone else…

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April 11, 2013

Awareness / Exercises / Fitness / Models / Tips

A model to motivate physical and emotional fitness

[This post is part of a series on "Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours." If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] Your body is the physical manifestation of your thoughts and behavior. Two starting points for today's belief. First, how do you decide what diet, exercise, and beliefs are right for you? Some people are more muscular, some are thinner, some seem happier, others the opposite. Diet and exercise books flood the market. How do you make sense of it all? Second, before your next shower, stop for a moment, look at yourself in the mirror, and think about the person you…

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April 10, 2013

Awareness / Entrepreneurship / Exercises / Models / Tips

A model on achieving goals: The Samurai Walk

[This post is part of a series on "Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours." If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] You want to do something meaningful. You know it will take resources -- time, energy, attention, etc. You have your goals. You have a general plan. So far so good. Most people get this far. How do you finish your project? How do you stick with it despite inevitable distractions? Would you be amazed to find you can use those distractions in your favor? Today's model gives an effective way to work on something, keeping your goals in mind, avoiding getting…

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April 9, 2013

Awareness / Exercises / Models / Nature / Tips

A model for stress that calms you down

[This post is part of a series on "Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours." If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] Does the world stress you out? Do people and things cause you stress? Do you get even more stressed at your helplessness to reduce how stressful the world is? Do you get even more frustrated and depressed at your bad luck that you had to be born at a time when the world was so stressful? Would you be glad to know you can decrease all that stress? No medicine required. You don't have to change anything except your beliefs. But…

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April 8, 2013

Exercises / Freedom / Models / My Favorite Posts / Nonjudgment / Tips

A model to get people to show up on time for you: everybody gets fifteen minutes

[This post is part of a series on "Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours." If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] Do you get annoyed at people showing up late? That they don't respect you by wasting your time showing up late, when you respected them for showing up on time? I used to fume at people showing up late. Fume! Then I tested a strategy that works so well, I never again had a problem with people showing up late. If I hadn't tried it I never would have believed it. For that matter, I would have fought against it. In…

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April 7, 2013

Exercises / Freedom / Leadership / Models / Tips

A model to allow yourself to fail, which gives you freedom to succeed

[Today is the fifth in a series on my daily and weekly beliefs, in no particular order. See the introduction to the series and the value of flexibility in beliefs for background.] Do you ever not do something for fear you'll fail at it? You've probably heard the phrase that the perfect is the enemy of the good. You may also have noticed that people who achieve greatness don't do things perfectly. How do you become great if you don't do everything perfectly? Here's a model I use to allow yourself to do something without worrying too much about failing -- ironically, the best way to succeed. It's one of my most important ones I think about almost daily. It fits with my practice of having…

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April 6, 2013

Awareness / Exercises / Models / Nonjudgment / Tips

A simple, effective strategy for improving yourself — probably the best I know, and it’s totally free: Feedforward

[This post is part of a series on Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours. If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] What if I told you the best way for you to improve yourself takes two minutes, costs nothing, and people will feel honored and flattered to help you with it? And you can do it anytime. Sound too good to be true? It's not. Read on. Oh, and make sure you get to the section on when I use it for how using it can help in your most important relationships at the most important times. Have you noticed the one…

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April 5, 2013

Education / Exercises / Leadership / Models / Tips

Top models and strategies for negotiating

[This post is part of a series on "Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours." If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] You negotiate every day. If you think you only negotiate when you're buying a car or creating a deal, you don't realize you negotiate every time you decide with a friend where to get lunch, with your spouse what movie to see, with your boss if you can work from home another day per week. Any interaction with some give and take involves negotiation. And if you think of negotiation as each of you trying to beat the other, you'll miss…

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April 4, 2013

Exercises / Models / Tips

A belief to choose without getting mired in indecision

[This post is part of a series on "Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours." If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] Do you ever get stuck unable to choose among options? Do you wish you could just go with something and be done with the choice? I found a couple useful models to help me choose. Model for choosing 1: my skiing model for choosing I wrote a few times about this model. Here's the most comprehensive post on it. Briefly, the model is this: when you ski a slope, the path forks, and you can't tell which path you'd enjoy more,…

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April 3, 2013

Awareness / Exercises / Models / Tips

A belief to motivate trying new things

[This post is part of a series on "Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours." If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] Are you nervous to try new things? Do you wish you tried more things? Do you see others enjoying things you're too scared to try? I found a way to motivate trying new things. My model to try new things: I have low standards the first time. That is, the first time I do something, I consider it successful if I just do it at all, not by how well I do it. I wrote about this model almost two years…

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April 2, 2013

Awareness / Exercises / Models / Tips

An exercise in knowing your beliefs; so you can change them

[This post is part of a series on "Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours." If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] We all know the story about the three guys doing the same physical work at quarry yet feeling different -- one felt miserable because he felt like he was just chopping stone, the next kind of enjoyed his work because he felt he was practicing a worthy profession, and the third who loved what he did because he was helping build the most beautiful cathedral the world had ever seen. How do you become the cathedral guy? As long as you're…

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March 30, 2013