Monthly Archives: September 2013

I never take responsibility for someone else’s emotions.

on September 30, 2013 in Blog, Nature

I try to understand people. I think doing so improves my relationships with them and my understanding of myself. I find feeling compassion for others helps me improve my relationships with them too. Same with empathy. I find taking responsibility for my emotions helps me improve my life and keeps me from blaming others. I see taking that responsibility as improving my life as much as anything. Taking responsibility for[…] Keep reading →

Jack Welch’s Gardening Model of Leadership

on September 29, 2013 in Blog, Leadership

If you read this blog you know I write a lot about beliefs and mental models and how they filter how you perceive your environment and influence your motivations and behavior. If you’ve read my series on my Model or taken my leadership seminar, you know that models can diverge from what you perceive with your senses and still be more effective than one you consider more accurate. I often[…] Keep reading →

A doubly improved representation of Flow-related emotional states

on September 28, 2013 in Awareness, Models, Visualization

A couple years ago I wrote two posts on the emotional state where you get so lost in an activity you lose track of time, focused with all your attention. Hours pass without your noticing while minutes may seem like hours as you focus intently. We like this state. A researcher named Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi studied it and named the state “flow.” He wrote a book on it that improved my[…] Keep reading →

Oops! Haha … did I say four miles? … Uh, I meant seven.

on September 27, 2013 in Blog, Fitness

I didn’t mean to write yesterday’s post on┬ástarting with emotion on exercise, food, and habits. I meant to contrast how I like to exercise with how people who don’t exercise seem to and then to tell today’s story. People who don’t exercise seem to characterize it as torture and dislike it. I see it as fun and rewarding. Sometimes it feels like torture, but only when I know the feeling[…] Keep reading →

Start with emotions if you want to motivate yourself … or anyone else

on September 26, 2013 in Blog, Fitness, Nature

I find Americans try to get precise and scientific about food and exercise, in contrast to how incredibly unfit the country is. I write “try to” because I don’t think they succeed in being precise or scientific. The term carbohydrate, for example, used to have a specific scientific meaning. I think it still does, but I think in standard American usage it means “bad” or “evil,” like the term fat[…] Keep reading →

An example of effective, understated leadership

on September 25, 2013 in Blog, Education, Leadership

I wanted to share an example of effective leadership I once saw. When I was in graduate school, Columbia was considering its policy on allowing the military to have programs like ROTC on campus or not and held hearings anyone in the university could attend to speak their mind. I attended one.┬áThe President of the university, Lee Bolinger, ran the event. I had strong feelings about risking militarizing the campus[…] Keep reading →