It’s Friday night. You planned to meet some friends for a night out. You haven’t seen them in a long time and looked forward to it. But this week at work was exhausting. Most weeks like this you’d just want to sit on the couch, relax, and take it easy. You feel like you have no energy. Do you go out? Some people feel like hanging out with friends will[…] Keep reading →

Two readers asked similar questions about yesterday’s post, “Risks in relationships, rock-climbing, and ratcheting,” on confirming the status of a relationship and how that’s like anchoring yourself while rock climbing. One reader wrote: I like the analogy. Could you give an example of checking in with people and dynamic relationship? Dynamic meaning continuous interaction and keeping in touch? Asking someone how they feel about something is checking in, yes? Another[…] Keep reading →

Imagine rock climbing a vertical cliff. You don’t want to get hurt so you use a rope to catch you if you fall. You regularly loop the rope through something attached to the face. I think they call it anchoring, so I’ll call it anchoring too. How you anchor affects how you climb. If you just anchored yourself, your rope would effectively be attached right there, so if you let[…] Keep reading →

Continuing my series on responses to the New York Times column, The Ethicist, looking at the consequences of one’s actions instead of imposing values on them, here is my take on today’s post, “Why Tell Koko About Robin Williams’s Death?“. According to press reports, Koko, the gorilla adept at sign language, seemed saddened to hear the news of the death of Robin Williams, whom the gorilla met once in 2001[…] Keep reading →

A friend and former teammate introduced me to running long distances about twenty years ago. A few years ago I commented about running a lap of Central Park in about forty-five minutes. He remarked how running that speed at that age was impressive. In the years since, I’ve meant to run a lap in forty-five minutes. Between China and just running long distances for past marathons, I haven’t gotten around[…] Keep reading →

I love my breakfast. Yes, breakfast, in the singular. I eat the same simple combination almost every day and I prepare it through the same steps almost the same every day. Yet it has more flavor, texture, and nutrition than any other breakfast I know. Compared to the flashy, colorful boxes taking up most of the cereal supermarket aisle I haven’t entered in years—at least not since I wrote about[…] Keep reading →

I get it. Exercise is hard. At least useful exercise is. I wrote about it in yesterday’s post, “Defining moments.” I know the feeling before starting exercising. You don’t want to. But rarely do people tell me they don’t exercise because it’s hard. Far more often people tell me they don’t have time to exercise. If you want to exercise and you think you’re not doing it because you don’t[…] Keep reading →

Have you stood on the edge of an open airplane door, looking at the sky beneath you and the ground miles below it, parachute on your back, trying to will yourself to jump? Have you stood outside your boss’s door, after days and weeks working up the courage and what to say to ask for a raise or promotion, trying to will yourself to knock and enter? Have you sat[…] Keep reading →

I decided to answer the question of this New York Times article “Why Are Americans So Fascinated With Extreme Fitness?“. That article describes some fitness, but doesn’t answer the question, which deals with motivation and overcoming big challenges, which connect it to leadership. To answer why people would push to get so fit, you have to explain the emotion and motivation behind it. Simply saying it’s healthy or makes you[…] Keep reading →