Minutes after posting yesterday “If you have “too much to do” or “not enough time,” you’re not getting more done. You’re annoying.“, I realized I overstated myself. I realized it because I met a friend working on a small number of projects and getting them done, but still busy. I realized I wrongly included him and people like him who know their priorities in the larger group of people who[…] Keep reading →

I first noticed it in the last semester of business school when most students were complaining about having to choose between job offers. All the offers more than met their standards. Dwelling in their decisions instead of choosing and living their lives made them miserable instead of enjoying themselves. What made them miserable wasn’t that they had multiple offers—that is, the problem didn’t come from outside. The problem was their[…] Keep reading →

Most people who love The Godfather 1 and 2 dislike the third because of the director’s daughter in a lead role, saying they don’t like her acting. I find the closing scene completes the story beautifully. What do I find so beautiful about this scene? It wordlessly communicates most of the themes of the series—family, women, men, intimacy, solitude, winning, America, and Sicily—with subtlety and complexity. I can’t put into[…] Keep reading →

Years ago I enjoyed television dramas but now I can’t bear to watch them. Sopranos, Oz, Orange Is The New Black, House of Cards, Mad Men, etc. It hit me when some friends had me watch a few episodes of Breaking Bad. I enjoyed the acting. Each episode was compelling. Other dramas also have stunning sets and effects and beautiful people. I want to watch each next episode. But something[…] Keep reading →

Over and over as I work with clients and students, as they learn to understand and manage their emotions, when they look back at their lives they see choices and actions they now know they would do differently. They notice relationships they mishandled, choices they would make differently, behavior that led them astray, and so on. I do the same thing. I think of relationships I lost, school and job[…] Keep reading →

The movie Thirteen Days illustrated how John Kennedy and the executive branch handled the Cuban Missile Crisis. I recommend the movie (and Robert Kennedy’s book of the same name). I edited some parts to highlight one aspect of the situation—the personal perspectives and behavior of people closest to the President. While you won’t likely face decisions with stakes as high as nuclear war, you’ll face similar structures of conflict. Many[…] Keep reading →

Continuing my series of alternative responses to the New York Times column, The Ethicists, looking at the consequences of one’s actions instead of imposing values on others, here is a take on today’s post,”Must I Drive My Friend to Have an Abortion?” My closest friend just got pregnant and is in no way ready to take on motherhood at 18. She has already committed to her dream school and received[…] Keep reading →

Continuing my series of alternative responses to the New York Times column, The Ethicist, looking at the consequences of one’s actions instead of imposing values on others, here is a take on today’s post,”Can I Stay Out of an Estate Dispute?” In order to decrease his net worth before beginning divorce proceedings, my brother invested $600,000 in an apartment in my father’s name. Years later, he had our mother co-sign[…] Keep reading →

Continuing my series of alternative responses to the New York Times column, The Ethicist, looking at the consequences of one’s actions instead of imposing values on others, here is a take on today’s post, “The Hazards of Other Planets.” The company Mars One is trying to establish colonies on Mars by offering one-way trips there within the next 10 years. I’ve gotten into heated debates about the ethical implications of[…] Keep reading →