Just back from an all-day networking event not just to meet people but for improving how you meet people I realized something new. Do you try to meet new people to improve your network? If you want to meet people who match with you more than people you already know, you have to free time from the people you know. In other words, you have to spend less time with[…] Keep reading →

You have two options in life. Option 1 is to try, meaning actively trying at things that matter to you. If you try, things won’t always work as you want and you will sometimes feel bad. Not bad like your fell and scraped your knee. Bad like what’s-the-point?-Every-time-I-try-I-fail-so-why-keep-trying?-Why-bother-going-on-at-all?-I’m-a-failure-and-always-will-be bad. As far as I know, feeling that way is inevitable if you try. Option 2 is to eat cookies and ice[…] Keep reading →

Using authority to lead may achieve your goal but it creates unintended side-effects, nearly always counter to your goals. To you personally too. This scene in Lincoln illustrates how the side-effects can last centuries. I long wondered why people resist accepting the Civil War. Why wouldn’t they celebrate ending slavery? When you motivate someone through authority, you are making them do something they don’t want to do. You’re threatening a[…] Keep reading →

“Nice guys finish last.” Alone, this thought has probably condemned many men and women to abandon being nice. Accurate or not, combined with another belief, that the alternative to being nice is to be a jerk, further condemns people to being jerks. Jerks—people with one type of poor relationship skills—even when materially successful, seem likely to face emptiness in intimacy, what many consider the most important parts of their lives.[…] Keep reading →

I adopt new technologies slowly, often not at all before the trend passes. If you’ve ever thrown away something you felt you needed when you bought it and now can’t give away, I believe you’ll find doing so helps you enjoy life more. If you know that the middle of the Pacific, thousands of miles from land, has garbage polluting it, I suggest you consider slowing your adoption too. I’m not[…] Keep reading →

The reader I responded to Saturday also wrote the following: in the meanwhile i am writing to a medical doctor who is also a fitness expert so that i can meet her and set up a program that looks at both nutrition and exercise She’s doing what a lot of people do, especially well-educated businesspeople who have developed habits to analyze things before acting. I do so too on many[…] Keep reading →

The sting of jalapeño on my skin after chopping it always reminds me of my dedication to playing ultimate frisbee. Lately the farm supplying my vegetables this summer has delivered a lot of jalapeños. I’m enjoying them. I like spicy food and I enjoy their flavor more than cayenne pepper. One afternoon in my junior year of college, it was time to get ready for frisbee practice. That year the[…] Keep reading →