Nonjudgment

“Have you learned to love not flying?”

Nonjudgment / Tips

“Have you learned to love not flying?”

I'm always working on more effective ways to lead on sustainability. Recall my definition of leadership: helping people do what they already wanted to but haven't figured out how. To help others, I have to learn what they want, the opposite of opposing my values on them. Most people I ask tell me they support sustainability and are doing their best. They seem to think they aren't anywhere close to the top few percent of polluters. One of the most important ways to improve our lives is to change our behaviors compromising our values. The problem is that it's painful to admit we're violating our values, especially deep values such as those embodied in: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you…

November 9, 2024

Why do liberals consider political views they disagree with “wrong” but different skin colors and sexual preferences “diverse”?

Awareness / Models / Nonjudgment

Why do liberals consider political views they disagree with “wrong” but different skin colors and sexual preferences “diverse”?

People are going to read their preconceptions into what I'm asking, so if my question of this post seems provocative or you think it implies I'm promoting or espousing views, you're misreading. There's a pattern I see often. One example was last weekend at an alumni event at Columbia University. Former US Attorney General Eric Holder spoke. He's a Democrat and liberal. As best I can tell, so were most members of the audience. Between his talk and the questions from the audience, everyone valued diversity. When they promoted diversity, they talked about people with different skin colors, women in positions of authority, people from different countries, and people with different sexual preferences. I inferred from them that people's different identities along these lines were…

October 4, 2024

My functional new word: Enlightendigenous

Education / Nonjudgment

My functional new word: Enlightendigenous

In my book I talk about something that people respond with knee-jerk sayings that show they don't know what they're talking about because they hurt their own cause. Still, they can't stop themselves from being know-it-alls and saying it. I found a way to fix the problem with a new word. The problem response comes when I mention Enlightenment values of (according to Steven Pinker) “reason, science, humanism, and progress” and how they helped in the past and could help now. I found that there was another Enlightenment value of stewardship that we lost. The knee-jerk response is to call Enlightenment people "dead white men," as if their being white or male disqualified them from being worth listening to. My counter-response is to point out…

September 19, 2024

An anonymous reader: Your “immense privilege that seems to be lurking behind this wall of intellectual masturbation”

Addiction / Nonjudgment

An anonymous reader: Your “immense privilege that seems to be lurking behind this wall of intellectual masturbation”

I've meant to post about this response from a reader to my post fro March 2022: Year 7, day 1 without flying, seeing our cultural and individual addictions. I'm not sure how to respond, but I know this site has a bug that doesn't always show comments and didn't want people to miss it. One big point I've realized since that post is that I have to clarify I don't oppose flying. I oppose people destroying or taking other people's life, liberty, and property without consent and governments abdicating their responsibilities to protect life, liberty, and property. Pollution destroys life, liberty, and property without consent. Nobody consents to being born with birth defects, getting cancer, or their homes losing value from being submerged or in…

September 18, 2024

Things I Don’t Know

Choosing/Decision-Making / Nonjudgment

Things I Don’t Know

I was thinking about some things I don't know. I'm confident humanity is better off with less plastic in the ocean, litter on the ground, and PFAS in our blood, but I don't know: When a human sperm and egg become an independent human life the law should protect The optimal number of and amount of access to guns for self-defense, to protect against government overreach, to defend a community, and to avoid unnecessary and accidental deaths The right level of taxes to balance motivating innovation and funding government services but not taking too much from people An ironclad way to define male, female, and variations thereof How much addicted people (adults) should be treated as diseased versus criminally liable when they hurt others for…

September 6, 2024

A father littering in front of his kids. Should I say something?

Nonjudgment / SIDCHAs

A father littering in front of his kids. Should I say something?

I was in Washington Square Park charging my panels. A family of mother, father, and three kids sat on a bench near me, likely tourists. They had takeout food with plenty of packaging from a nearby store. A napkin fell through a gap between the benches so it was behind the father. He turned to try to pick it up but couldn't reach it after trying contorting a few times to reach it. He could have gotten up and turned around, but instead just left it. Was he leaving it there permanently or just until he could reach it better? For the better part of a minute, I thought he was waiting maybe to finish the food in his lap to make getting up easier,…

August 19, 2024

When you know someone will (mis)interpret everything you say their way, do you talk to them?

Awareness / Nonjudgment / Perception

When you know someone will (mis)interpret everything you say their way, do you talk to them?

The title says half of it: When you know someone will interpret everything you say their way, do you talk to them? The other half: What if they're your parents? No, I didn't just have a fight with a parent, but I do talk to a lot of people who interpret what I say as best I can tell based on preconceptions of what they expect someone talking about what I talk about to say. For example, if I suggest how for nearly all of human existence our ancestors lived with more equality and freedom than we do, they respond "You want to return to the Stone Age?" If you want, I can list more examples. The pattern reminds me of my parents growing up,…

August 4, 2024

Calling the other side “a new religion” demeans yourself

Nonjudgment / Tips

Calling the other side “a new religion” demeans yourself

Often I hear a someone say their opponents form a new religion, implying the other side doesn't think through their beliefs or come up with them on their own. They just believe what they're told to. Anyone can lob that grenade at anyone they disagree with. From anyone's perspective, anyone with different beliefs or values seems ungrounded. To call the other side "a new religion" just shows the speaker lacks empathy and understanding. Sadly, they may garner support from their own side, lowering mutual understanding in favor of tribalism. If you ever call your opponent a new religion, I suggest you demean yourself in the process. If anyone says it of you, I suggest you point out they demean themselves.

July 27, 2024

A neighbor’s thank-you letter from Donald Trump (sadly disrespecting the office of the presidency)

Freedom / Leadership / Nonjudgment / Relationships

A neighbor’s thank-you letter from Donald Trump (sadly disrespecting the office of the presidency)

Regular readers know I pick up litter every day. The other day I found this garbage wedged in the scaffolding of a building under construction. (Come to think of it, a topic I should write more about is this bizarre practice of litter being wedged and stuffed into places and why people do it. I'm not sure, but I have some ideas. In any case, all this littering is socializing costs, spreading disease, ruining communities, raising taxes, and that's the tip of the iceberg.) It's a letter from Donald Trump thanking someone who lives within a block of me for donating to his campaign. I had to comment on a few observations. First, I shouldn't have to note it, but I know Donald Trump didn't…

July 19, 2024

Giving up on sustainability is a permanent solution to what could be a temporary problem

Nonjudgment / Tips

Giving up on sustainability is a permanent solution to what could be a temporary problem

I heard someone talking about suicide describe it as a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I looked it up and it seems a well-known concept. Many people seem to have given up on trying to live more sustainably or sustainability in general. We can solve it. Dropping your impact over ninety percent, if done with the right mindset, will improve your life. Combining it with having at most two kids and sharing the improvement with others, and we can reach sustainability soon. There's no reason to give up. There's tons to look forward to. Sorry to break it to you, but you already knew you and everyone you love would die. We don't have to reach nirvana or heaven for success, only to reach…

July 1, 2024

Today’s greatest privilege: denying one’s personal contribution to pollution, depletion, plunder, and imperialism

Awareness / Nonjudgment

Today’s greatest privilege: denying one’s personal contribution to pollution, depletion, plunder, and imperialism

Liberals talk a lot about privilege. Conservatives, libertarians, and other political groups have their problems facing their contribution to our environmental problems, but liberals contribute as much. Their denial is through the roof. In particular, they throw around the term 'privilege' like it was candy. I think they think they're silencing the people they accuse of it, but in a way the other person deserves, doesn't realize, and benefits from owning up to. My point is not to accuse back but to invite people to try taking personal responsibility for the effects of their actions on others, especially innocent people. I predict people will find the initial discomfort of facing one's internal conflicts worth the uncomfortable emotions it causes to connect to them. I've learned…

June 26, 2024

Followed up: watched recommended historical videos from the Leadership Institute’s course “Conservatism 101”

Leadership / Nonjudgment

Followed up: watched recommended historical videos from the Leadership Institute’s course “Conservatism 101”

I've written about taking several courses at the Leadership Institute. Conservatism 101 recommended a lot of historical videos to augment their lectures. Though I finished the course a while ago, I took a while to finish the videos. If interested, here they are. I didn't grow up learning these views. Adults around me during my childhood seemed to view, say, Phyllis Schlafly, as weird and devious: why would a woman oppose an equal rights amendment. I didn't remember knowing anyone who admired her, Ronald Reagan, or Jesse Helms. Since reading The Righteous Mind by podcast guest Jonathan Haidt, when I find people I disagree with, I'm more interested in learning from them than proving them wrong, as I spent most of my life. I found…

June 13, 2024

We’re going to need truth and reconciliation committees when we acknowledge the consequences of our actions

Addiction / Nonjudgment

We’re going to need truth and reconciliation committees when we acknowledge the consequences of our actions

Most Americans and residents of industrialized countries do many things daily that hurt other people through the environment. They act and talk as if they don't know their Starbucks cup has anything to do with ocean plastic, but they know it. How do I know they know? Because they get defensive (or offensive) when someone brings it up. If I tell people I like oatmeal for breakfast, no one gets defensive. If I tell them I don't fly or take years to fill a load of trash, they respond defensively immediately. They knew what they were doing. What knowing means Knowing they're violating their values means inner conflict. They can suppress and deny it, but the only way to make it go away is to…

May 30, 2024

Milton Friedman: Free Markets Don’t Have to Mean Growth and Governments Ought to Regulate Pollution

Freedom / Models / Nonjudgment

Milton Friedman: Free Markets Don’t Have to Mean Growth and Governments Ought to Regulate Pollution

Researching more for my upcoming book and planning to write opinion pieces, I'm learning more limited government, free market thought and practice relevant to sustainability and the environment. It's relevant beyond anything I expected. If only people asked questions of people they disagreed with and listened to their answers in 2024 as much as they tried to convince and defeat, we'd have solved a lot of problems where we mutually benefit from the solutions. I guess it will have to fall on me to help everyone see that mutual benefit and collaborate for it. Here is Milton Friedman on the case for government regulating behavior that affects a third party without consent, including pollution: Question to Milton Friedman: You're not going to condemn regulations regarding…

May 25, 2024

Saying you care versus acting.

Leadership / Nonjudgment

Saying you care versus acting.

Over and over I meet people who say they care about the environment and people affected by human impact on the environment . . . yet they refuse to acknowledge their impact. Still they complain how somehow others don't care, even as their own impact is as great. What does it mean to care if your actions achieve the opposite of caring. What does you saying you care matter to the people and wildlife you harm while polluting and depleting and therefore promoting and funding the people and industries you claim don't care? How to think about your caring Imagine two people in 1855 in the American south One doesn't care about slavery or slaves, but doesn't buy any slave-produced goods. The other claims to…

May 8, 2024

If you don’t like measuring your carbon footprint, report how much you fund extraction and lobbying

Addiction / Leadership / Nature / Nonjudgment

If you don’t like measuring your carbon footprint, report how much you fund extraction and lobbying

The first result on a search on bp carbon footprint was a Guardian opinion piece Big oil coined ‘carbon footprints’ to blame us for their greed. Keep them on the hook which linked to a piece in Mashsable The carbon footprint sham: A 'successful, deceptive' PR campaign. That piece begins: In a dark TV ad aired in 1971, a jerk tosses a bag of trash from a moving car. The garbage spills onto the moccasins of a buckskin-clad Native American, played by Italian American actor Espera Oscar de Corti. He sheds a tear on camera(opens in a new tab), because his world has been defiled, uglied, and corrupted by trash. The poignant ad, which won awards for excellence in advertising(opens in a new tab), promotes…

April 19, 2024

Frederick Douglass promoted imperialism, was anti-catholic, promoted hunting whales

Frederick Douglass promoted imperialism, was anti-catholic, promoted hunting whales

It's tempting to point out flaws of people like Thomas Jefferson, who spoke eloquently about freedom but didn't practice it in his own life as a slaveholder and racist, to discredit them. George Washington only freed his slaves in his will, not while he lived. Gandhi did odd things regarding his chastity, like sleeping naked with young girls. Mother Teresa let helpless people suffer she could have helped and called it beautiful. I point out some of these flaws in my upcoming book since I write about Jefferson and Washington. Among people who point out these flaws in people with power, they rarely look so deeply at everyone. I don't point out Frederick Douglass's flaws in my book. I wasn't hiding them. They didn't come…

March 21, 2024

DARVO: how many people feeling guilt and shame protect themselves (including polluters/depleters)

Nonjudgment / Relationships

DARVO: how many people feeling guilt and shame protect themselves (including polluters/depleters)

I forget what led me to learn the acronym DARVO (see below for definition and more), but it sounded like how people respond to sustainability talk. I read a few articles and watched a few videos on it (also below). They mostly talk about it as something narcissists do, though Wikipedia says "perpetrators of wrongdoing" do it, so not surprising that I see it in polluters. Identifying the pattern and seeing that it comes from perpetrators of wrongdoing may help handle when people attack, deny, and blame the messenger for their behavior they feel guilty and shameful about. Wikipedia's description: DARVO (an acronym for "deny, attack, and reverse victim & offender") is a reaction that perpetrators of wrongdoing, such as sexual offenders, may display in…

March 19, 2024

I’ve learned to enjoy just thinking

Greenwich Village Sun

Awareness / Habits / Nonjudgment

I’ve learned to enjoy just thinking

I've held back on posting this discovery since I think people might confuse it with boredom or having nothing better to do and I didn't want to be judged, but as I've cut out more media, I've found it enjoyable, relaxing, and rewarding just to think . . . to ponder, consider, reflect, introspect, daydream, and such. I mean something different than meditating. I meditate too, as one of my sidchas, but meditation is about consciousness, awareness, patience, and such. This activity is more like solving problems that take some thought to disentangle. Figuring things out. Some of my best writing comes from it. I don't schedule it, but I don't shy away from it. I'd been doing it for a while, but I think…

March 1, 2024

Whom would you call a minority in this picture?

Education / Nonjudgment / Visualization

Whom would you call a minority in this picture?

Cleaning out my father's basement, I found my junior high school yearbook. Not really a yearbook, but a book with pictures of each class. Here's my class: Can you tell which one is me? Is it hard to tell? I can't tell you how often people have told me I don't know what it's like to live as a minority. This year wasn't my only such year. Here is the breakdown by sex and skin color. I'm a significant minority in both ways. African-AmericanWhiteAsianTotalPercentMale422835%Female11311565%Total155323Percent65%22%13% Still, I feel like many people will want to lecture me on how I'm not really a minority since . . . and then they'll come up with some explanation based on preconceptions. I think people think that living in Greenwich…

February 9, 2024

Why do people apologize to me when they mention their polluting?

Why do people apologize to me when they mention their polluting?

It happens all the time. Someone is talking to me and happens to mention they flew somewhere, used disposable plastic, or the like. Then they apologize to me. For example, they might be talking about upcoming plans and say something like, ". . . and then I'll go to Europe . . .", pause, look at me, and say, " . . . sorry, Josh, I'll be flying there." I can understand why they would consider an apology appropriate if they feel they know they're hurting someone, but they aren't hurting me. Why apologize to me? If they don't feel they're doing something wrong, why apologize at all? If they do feel they're doing something wrong, why do it?

October 28, 2023

More of: I eat food homeless people throw away

Fitness / Nonjudgment

More of: I eat food homeless people throw away

I wrote a couple years ago about how I end up eating food that homeless and poor people throw away when given lunches. Like if you give them a bag containing a sandwich, bag of chips, and a piece of fruit or bag of baby carrots, you're going to find a lot of uneaten fruit and carrots discarded on the street. Picking up litter daily, I can't miss it. Today, I'll give another example. Regular readers know I volunteer, bringing food stores would throw away to a community center where people can get it for free. Many others volunteer this way too, so every day the center sees lots of food. Yesterday, when I dropped off, I noticed a few cabbage leaves in a pile…

October 25, 2023

Why do people say history books are filled with people like me when they aren’t?

Why do people say history books are filled with people like me when they aren’t?

I don't learn of anyone like me in history books, but I'm told that's all who is in them. I'll link to a bunch of articles that history books are filled with dead white men. I'm told the best I can do is "shut up and listen." Why do people who don't know me tell me who I am? Should I think I'm represented because Hitler, Stalin, and Columbus were straight white men? I don't find people like me in history books. I see people today who aren't white men who seem more like white men in history books than I do. Why should people having the same skin color and sex mean that they represent me? Society hasn't treated me like them. We don't…

October 21, 2023

If you think food coops cost more or complain that some people don’t have access to them, you don’t know what you’re talking about and are exacerbating the problem.

Leadership / Nature / Nonjudgment

If you think food coops cost more or complain that some people don’t have access to them, you don’t know what you’re talking about and are exacerbating the problem.

When I mention shopping at a food coop---a grocery store where the shoppers are the owners and workers---people kept saying not everyone had access to coops. I wondered why they suggested they were a privilege. I know there aren't as many food coops as supermarkets and bodegas, but I didn't understand why they acted like people without access were helpless. At last I realized people saying such things didn't know what it was like to grow up in a household with many kids and parents who couldn't make ends meet, where cooperating with neighbors on food was a solution to not having time or money. When my parents were married they helped organize ten families to buy food together. Each family took a turn driving…

August 12, 2023

The reason you feel judged isn’t because environmentalists are judging you. It’s because you have a conscience.

The reason you feel judged isn’t because environmentalists are judging you. It’s because you have a conscience.

Talk to people about sustainability and they'll say "stop judging me" or that you're making them feel guilty. If someone tries to judge me for something I don't have a problem with, I don't feel judged. When I lived in Paris and people tried to judge or make fun of me for being American, I didn't have a problem with it. If they judged me simply for being American, I saw it as their problem, not mine. The reason you feel judged isn't because environmentalists are judging you, nor anyone else. It's because you have a conscience. You'd do well to listen to it. Abraham Lincoln's quote remains my most relevant to sustainability: "Nothing is more damaging to you than to do something you believe…

July 4, 2023

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