You have two options in life. Option 1 is to try, meaning actively trying at things that matter to you. If you try, things won’t always work as you want and you will sometimes feel bad. Not bad like your fell and scraped your knee. Bad like what’s-the-point?-Every-time-I-try-I-fail-so-why-keep-trying?-Why-bother-going-on-at-all?-I’m-a-failure-and-always-will-be bad. As far as I know, feeling that way is inevitable if you try. Option 2 is to eat cookies and ice[…] Keep reading →

A couple weeks ago I wrote about how almost nobody is acting for equality in “Op/Ed Friday: Almost nobody is acting for equality, which is why we aren’t getting it.” Many people talk about wanting equality. Many believe they are acting for it. That post describes how not many are, despite their belief. Since I write about leadership, I’m looking at the leadership results of people talking about one thing[…] Keep reading →

What do you need? Typically responses include food, shelter, love, relationships, vacations, etc. I’ve written before on the social repulsiveness of neediness (“You need to read this post” and “The risks of saying “I need…”“, for example). Let’s consider the personal perspective. What perspectives on things can you change from feeling you need them into enjoying them? What relationships do you feel you need but you could instead simply enjoy?[…] Keep reading →

Do you wish you had more money? Mainstream society pushes that value on us. Many of us adopt it. Even when someone suggests questioning having more stuff or money, many people still say they’d rather have more. Let me break it down to the foundation: Would you rather be yourself or to have been born a Rockefeller? If you were born a Rockefeller, you would have been born with more[…] Keep reading →

If you don’t act for equality, it doesn’t matter how much you want it, you aren’t going to get it. Almost nobody is acting for equality so we aren’t getting it. Many people think they are acting to create equality, but their behavior is counterproductive to equality, despite their intent. Why do I say people aren’t acting for equality? What are people doing if they aren’t acting for equality? Many[…] Keep reading →

I’ve been meaning to write about a book that challenged and led to me changing beliefs more than any other I can think of. I write about beliefs and mental models here a lot. My leadership seminars and courses cover beliefs, how they influence your perceptions, and how to change them. Some beliefs you change a lot, or at least you feel flexible about. Some beliefs you believe and you[…] Keep reading →

I simplify complex or mysterious terms to make them easy to understand and act on. The professional and personal development fields seem to prefer click-bait titles—what sells over what works. Talk about failure and success is filled with clichés (“It’s the journey, not the destination,” “everything happens for a reason”) and grandstanding (“fail early and often,” “I failed many times before succeeding”) that I haven’t found helpful for someone facing[…] Keep reading →