What do you need? Typically responses include food, shelter, love, relationships, vacations, etc. I’ve written before on the social repulsiveness of neediness (“You need to read this post” and “The risks of saying “I need…”“, for example). Let’s consider the personal perspective. What perspectives on things can you change from feeling you need them into enjoying them? What relationships do you feel you need but you could instead simply enjoy?[…] Keep reading →

One of the exercises my leadership students like most is the Authentic Voice exercise. I’ve written about it at least four times here, including examples from great masters of speaking in their authentic voice, like Muhammad Ali and Robin Williams. Communications skills exercises, part 10: Your Authentic Voice Your authentic voice The great masters of speaking with authentic voices Communications skills exercises, part 10b: another example of voicing your self-talk[…] Keep reading →

Continuing my series of alternative responses to the New York Times column, The Ethicists, looking at the consequences of one’s actions instead of imposing values on others, here is my take on today’s post, “Should I Tell My Friend’s Husband That She’s Having an Affair?” I am a man (if it matters) and friends with a married woman, ‘‘Jane,’’ and her husband, ‘‘Peter.’’ The friendship is more with Jane than[…] Keep reading →

The people who run Connectorcon love connecting people and they’re good at it. Every person they’ve connected me to has been valuable to me. I’m not just talking: I drove back all night after my cousin’s wedding near Pittsburgh to attend their all-day event this past summer. December 12, from 10am to 6pm they’re hosting a conference to help people connect and learn to connect better. You apply through a[…] Keep reading →

A reader wrote about a successful use of a technique I wrote about in “Someone not returning your emails? Here’s a polite tactic that gets responses.” I thought I’d share for others, since we all face the challenge sometimes. Also because I find over and over that low-level instruction, even or rather especially on low-level details leads to high-level success. Schools don’t teach these details but they matter. Hey Joshua,[…] Keep reading →

Years ago a then-friend and practicing architect visiting my apartment suggested that he could redesign it so it would look so great it would belong in a magazine. We had been friends for years. I knew about big projects he’d done. He said that he would find me a great contractor. He cofounded a company called thesweeten.com, through which we worked. Instead they delivered poor quality work with an incompetent[…] Keep reading →

Do you ever get into an argument where you feel like you’re right and they’re wrong and you know that they feel they’re right and you’re wrong? We all do. It happens when you and the other person apply different values. You can both consider yourselves right and the other wrong. Sometimes I call the situation “The Worst Problem In The Worldâ„¢” because of how much the problem can grow[…] Keep reading →

Continuing my series of alternative responses to the New York Times column, The Ethicists, looking at the consequences of one’s actions instead of imposing values on others, here is my take on today’s post, “How Do I Handle a Claim of Sexual Assault by a Close Friend?” Several months ago, a female friend told me that, six months earlier, a close male friend of mine sexually assaulted a female friend[…] Keep reading →

I have friend who is very charismatic. He makes up catch phrases and says them in a way people enjoy and associate with him. One of them, which he used as a greeting, was “Word word word.” As in, you’d be at a bar and he’d show up and greet everyone with a big “Word word word!” It didn’t mean much more than he felt friendly. At least as far[…] Keep reading →