Awareness / Evolutionary Psychology / Exercises / Models / Nature / Perception / Tips

A model that explains why your enthusiasm when planning disappears when doing

[This post is part of a series on “Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours.” If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] Scene 1: You plan something big. You're excited. You know there will be challenges, but you also know you'll overcome them. You will do what it takes no matter what. Scene 2: You started the project but it petered out. You don't know what happened to that feeling of invincibility, but it's gone. What happened? How did you lose your motivation? Why didn't your willpower work? Today's model answers. A model that explains why your enthusiasm when planning disappears when doing :…

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May 20, 2013

Awareness / Exercises / Leadership / Models / Tips

A model to think deeper

[This post is part of a series on “Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours.” If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] Have you gotten to consider and tackle the important things in your life? Do some important issues still elude you? Do you still spend time in the unimportant parts of life? Or even when on the important parts, do the urgent fires take more of your time than you want? Urgency Importance Important, not urgent Important, urgent Unimportant, not urgent Unimportant, urgent Today's belief helps you get to those topics. A model to think more deeply: You think on the time…

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May 19, 2013

Awareness / Exercises / Freedom / Models / Nature / Perception

A model to help you get more out of traveling and to save money traveling at the same time

[This post is part of a series on “Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours.” If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] Most people I share today's belief with seem surprised or even shocked when I express it. Probably because the way I say it -- that I don't like traveling -- seems contrary to something nearly everyone values. Also, I travel a lot and talk about how much I get out of it. If I have to travel, I'll find ways to make it amazing, but if I don't travel I can make staying home just as amazing. The best way I…

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May 18, 2013

Awareness / Exercises / Models / Nonjudgment / Tips

A model to get in fewer arguments and influence more effectively

[This post is part of a series on “Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours.” If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] Do you get in more arguments than you'd like? Do you feel like people don't understand you and you have to explain yourself a lot in these arguments? I can't stop all your arguments, but today's belief and strategy will cut down on them. It will also increase your ability to influence. A model to argue less and influence more: No two people completely agree on what's right, wrong, good, or bad and they resist when you try to get them…

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May 15, 2013

Awareness / Blog / Leadership / Tips

A model to live like beautiful people do

[Today is the forty-second in a series on daily and weekly beliefs that improve my life and may improve yours, in no particular order. See the introduction to the series and the value of flexibility in beliefs for background.] People commonly believe that beautiful women have better lives than everybody else and that they have access to more valuable things. I came across that belief a lot when I used to go out dancing a lot. The evidence seemed overwhelming -- they automatically get invited to the best parties, they get past the doorpeople, men buy them drinks if the club doesn't already give them, and so on. In regular life, studies show attractive people get paid more, get promoted more, and so on. Sounds…

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May 13, 2013

Exercises / Models / Nature

A model to keep from being scammed

[This post is part of a series on “Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours.” If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] Have you ever been scammed into buying something that didn't work? Has anyone ever tried to sell you something too good to be true? Have you lost money gambling you wish you hadn't? Do you not like that happening? A model to keep from being scammed: The laws of physics, science, math, and logic. Some scams are cons based on abusing trust, but a lot of them are based on things that aren't possible -- perpetual motion devices, fake controversy about the…

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May 11, 2013

Awareness / Exercises / Models

A model to keep you from being manipulated by the media

[This post is part of a series on “Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours.” If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] Does reading or watching the news enrage you? Does it depress you? Make you feel outraged or helpless or scared? As much as the news media presents itself as something you need to participate as a citizen in society, they always have at least this goal: to sell more ads. They can separate the news from the business section all they want, but everyone knows what sells. Walk into any newsroom and they'll tell you they have to make an emotional…

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May 10, 2013

Awareness / Exercises / Models / Tips

A model to help you stay calm and ward off anxiety

[This post is part of a series on “Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours.” If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] Do you wish you were born in easier times, when life wasn't so competitive? When life was easier? The media always talks about today's razor-thin margins, terrorism, and so on. We have so many things to worry about today. Who can keep up with the pace of change? Who wouldn't feel anxious and wish for the good old days? Today's model undermines that disappointment in today, thinking the old days were less stressful. A model to help you stay calm and…

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May 8, 2013

Awareness / Exercises / Freedom / Models / Tips

A belief to help you let go when you want to

[This post is part of a series on “Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours.” If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] People say "You should just let it go" all the time. Are you able just to let go of important things? Personally, I never could. I don't think many people can. Yet I've been able to achieve the same effect. Today's model covers how I've achieved it for myself, at least. I don't claim to have made up this model -- only that it works. A model to help you let go: I can't let ideas go, but I can crowd…

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May 7, 2013

Awareness / Exercises / Leadership / Models

What happens when you change beliefs

[This post is part of a series on “Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours.” If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] The movie Moneyball and the book it's based on illustrate how new beliefs take root and can challenge and crowd out your old beliefs. Today's post is long, but the movie very well illustrates some stages and the emotional challenge of adopting a new belief, facing and overcoming resistance, and how it can lead to effective leadership and creating community. I'll quote enough of it here if you haven't seen the movie, but it was nominated for seven Oscars and stars…

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May 6, 2013

Awareness / Exercises / Models / Tips

A model to remove limits from your life

[This post is part of a series on “Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours.” If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] Do you want an okay life? Do you want limits on how much you can get out of life? Or do you prefer to have no limits on how much you can get out of life? Remember from two days ago that the value, meaning, importance, and purpose (MVIP) of a thing comes from the emotions it evokes. Remember from yesterday that you can create reward any time any place. It follows that you can create more reward all the time,…

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May 4, 2013

Awareness / Exercises / Models

A model of where value, meaning, importance, and purpose come from

[This post is part of a series on “Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours.” If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] You hear about values-based leadership, living based in their values, giving meaning to their teams, having meaning in their lives, having purpose in their endeavors. If I asked you your values, you could probably mention your family, projects, friends, making the world a better place, security, and a few things like that. If I asked what gave you meaning or purpose or what was important, you'd probably give a similar list. You might not list money or television, but many people…

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May 2, 2013

Awareness / Exercises / Models

A model to implement the answers to all of life’s most important questions

[This post is part of a series on “Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours.” If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] Putting into practice the answers to all of life's most important questions -- that is, the Model -- may seem like a tall order, but I've written up how to do it. I call the process the Method. If you worked with the Model long enough, you'd probably develop the Method yourself, but why not learn from my mistakes and get farther with less effort? A model to implement the answers to all of life's most important questions: The Method I've written…

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May 1, 2013

Awareness / Exercises / Leadership / Models

A model that answers all of life’s most important questions

[This post is part of a series on “Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours.” If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] Answering all of life's most important questions is a tall order, but if you've read this web page long, you know the value I put on the Model, my model for human motivations and emotions. The Model forms the foundation of what I consider the best way to view and live life. A model that answers all of life's most important questions: The Model If you haven't read my series on the Model, I wrote about it at length. I put a…

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April 30, 2013

Awareness / Exercises / Models / Tips

A model to simplify

[This post is part of a series on “Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours.” If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] Do you ever have more stuff than you need? Do you find yourself susceptible to people selling things that you later realize you don't need? When I realized how little stuff improved my life and how much it got in the way, I found myself wanting things. Today I offer a belief that helps me look at acquiring things skeptically. A model for simplifying life: We've found almost nothing in the past few thousand years to improve our quality of life.…

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April 26, 2013

Awareness / Exercises / Models / Tips

A model to enjoy things more and promote future success

[This post is part of a series on “Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours.” If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] Today's model is simple. It helps you enjoy things more. I'm going to state it very simply about something I like a lot, but it generalizes to everything in life that you like. And the more you use it to enjoy things more, the more you bring things into your life you enjoy. And you can use it with emotions other than joy. Anything you like. I find the model works especially well in improving relationships. I'll explain why in a…

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April 24, 2013

Art / Awareness / Exercises / Freedom / Leadership / Models / Tips

A model to find the best in someone, including yourself

[This post is part of a series on “Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours.” If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] Today's belief helps overcome a challenge in helping someone's growth. It also helps you shine as a leader or mentor. When you lead or mentor someone or work to improve yourself, it helps to track progress, but you often can't. You can for external things, like how fast they run 100 meters, how they scored on a test, how much they increased revenues, etc. When you develop someone as a person, you can't always see the development externally. Especially with important…

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April 23, 2013

Awareness / Exercises / Models / Tips

A model for living every moment to its fullest

[This post is part of a series on “Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours.” If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] Do you enjoy every moment of your life? Do you wish you could? Have you ever felt like you wasted a lot of your life? Do you wish you hadn't? Do you wonder how you could live more in the moment? Today's model shows you how. It comes from an unlikely source. You might know about the researchers who asked people who won huge lotteries and people who just had accidents leading to becoming quadriplegic how happy they were (you should…

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April 19, 2013

Awareness / Exercises / Models / Tips

A belief to promote integrity and authenticity

[This post is part of a series on “Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours.” If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] Do you rank integrity as one of your highest values? How much integrity do you have? Today's model hit me one day accidentally, but since it did, I've held it closely. One day after talking to someone I got into an elevator alone. As I did I noticed I slouched because no one was there. Rather I didn't do it for a reason, I just did, subconsciously thinking it didn't matter because no one could see. Then for some reason it…

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April 18, 2013

Exercises / Freedom / Models / Tips

A model and strategy for getting things done

[This post is part of a series on “Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours.” If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] Do you ever have so much to do you can't figure out where to start? Or you bounce between things, unable to complete them? Most importantly, does the stress of having things to do make you miserable? I found a strategy for handling things that worked pretty well, but reading the book Getting Things Done by David Allen refined it. I wrote about it recently. A model for getting things done: Your mind fixates on obligations it wants to remember, distracting…

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April 15, 2013

Awareness / Exercises / Fitness / Models / Tips

A model to motivate physical and emotional fitness

[This post is part of a series on “Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours.” If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] Your body is the physical manifestation of your thoughts and behavior. Two starting points for today's belief. First, how do you decide what diet, exercise, and beliefs are right for you? Some people are more muscular, some are thinner, some seem happier, others the opposite. Diet and exercise books flood the market. How do you make sense of it all? Second, before your next shower, stop for a moment, look at yourself in the mirror, and think about the person you…

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April 10, 2013

Awareness / Entrepreneurship / Exercises / Models / Tips

A model on achieving goals: The Samurai Walk

[This post is part of a series on “Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours.” If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] You want to do something meaningful. You know it will take resources -- time, energy, attention, etc. You have your goals. You have a general plan. So far so good. Most people get this far. How do you finish your project? How do you stick with it despite inevitable distractions? Would you be amazed to find you can use those distractions in your favor? Today's model gives an effective way to work on something, keeping your goals in mind, avoiding getting…

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April 9, 2013

Awareness / Exercises / Models / Nature / Tips

A model for stress that calms you down

[This post is part of a series on “Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours.” If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] Does the world stress you out? Do people and things cause you stress? Do you get even more stressed at your helplessness to reduce how stressful the world is? Do you get even more frustrated and depressed at your bad luck that you had to be born at a time when the world was so stressful? Would you be glad to know you can decrease all that stress? No medicine required. You don't have to change anything except your beliefs. But…

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April 8, 2013

Awareness / Exercises / Models / Nonjudgment / Tips

A simple, effective strategy for improving yourself — probably the best I know, and it’s totally free: Feedforward

[This post is part of a series on Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours. If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] What if I told you the best way for you to improve yourself takes two minutes, costs nothing, and people will feel honored and flattered to help you with it? And you can do it anytime. Sound too good to be true? It's not. Read on. Oh, and make sure you get to the section on when I use it for how using it can help in your most important relationships at the most important times. Have you noticed the one…

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April 5, 2013

Awareness / Exercises / Models / Tips

My experience doing yesterday’s exercise and what it means to you

[This post is part of a series on “Mental models and beliefs: an exercise to identify yours.” If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] Since my results surprised me, I bet your results will surprise you when you do yesterday's exercise to record your beliefs (aka mental models or just models). First, the quantity. I felt like I had five or ten main models that I used a lot. I had about sixty or seventy. So the mental world I live in, from my mind's eye, is more complex than I thought. Next, how new they are -- that is, most of them aren't more…

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March 31, 2013