I overheard some people talking about another group as “douchebags” with “popped collars” who called everyone “bro” or “brah.” Okay, I get that some people can find others annoying, but to call them douchebags is just mean. You’ve insulted others for other reasons. People call others losers, sluts, assholes, and so on. More importantly to you, if you’ve ever insulted someone or thought about it, which covers everyone on the[…] Keep reading →

If you’ve read my social skills exercises series you know I avoid asking people what they do for a living. Instead I make meaningful connections about what people care about. An interesting side-effect of creating relationships based on what people care about instead of asking the same what-do-you-do-where-are-you-from-how-many-brothers-and-sisters-do-you-have-read-any-good-books-lately questions that get the same thoughtless answers is that sometimes I develop deep friendships with people never knowing what they do for[…] Keep reading →

Brought to you by the Distinguished Leaders committee of the Columbia Business School Alumni Club of New York (copying the following announcement from that site): Leadership Through Self-Awareness and Emotional Intelligence In a weekend, learn how to develop your personal leadership skills, self-awareness, and emotional intelligence through the latest advances in cognitive behavioral science, evolutionary psychology, and positive psychology. While business schools and corporations are increasingly focusing on personal leadership,[…] Keep reading →

Let’s look at two former Harvard students from now and nearly two centuries ago. 176 years ago Henry Thoreau finished Harvard in 1837, one of its best-known students of his age. Let’s look at him before looking at this generation’s most prominent Harvard student. Thoreau wrote Walden, his treatise on living simply, escaping petty human affairs and gossip, appreciating nature, self-reliance, and such. He lived for two years mostly on[…] Keep reading →

When I was a budding entrepreneur, recently having earned my PhD in astrophysics, people would often introduce me as a rocket scientist. At first I enjoyed the praise. In time I found being called intelligent didn’t help me in business. By “in business” I mean in business roles with leadership and decision-making. People talk about intelligence as valuable in business and some behave so, but I came to conclude successful[…] Keep reading →

I’ve written before about getting rid of stuff and the challenges of getting rid of things you once wanted to keep. You feel like if you once valued something and now don’t you’ll lose something important. Maybe you should examine your values and how they changed. Slow-going apartment renovations have led me to live with a lot of my stuff in storage following living in Shanghai without much stuff for[…] Keep reading →

The other day I wrote about how annoying someone saying “Why are you getting hung up on just one word?” sounded. Then I noticed a friend using some other annoying words and phrases in conversation that sounded annoying and decided to share them here. I don’t think she realized how annoying she was. So I put a few more annoying things, not as a how-to, but for people who might[…] Keep reading →

I saw two people debating some point at a cafe. The dynamic between them seemed common enough to examine for future reference. One kept saying to the other “Why are you getting hung up on just one word?” I couldn’t hear other details of their conversation, but I could tell enough to tell this: The person saying “Why are you getting hung up on just one word?” was trying to[…] Keep reading →

Do you have more stuff than you want? Do you have trouble keeping yourself from acquiring it? Do you wish you could get less stuff? I’ve been working on getting less stuff for a long time. I find the most important part to not having too much stuff is not acquiring stuff in the first place. Often when I’m with people and they can see I want something but hesitate[…] Keep reading →