I overheard some people talking about another group as “douchebags” with “popped collars” who called everyone “bro” or “brah.” Okay, I get that some people can find others annoying, but to call them douchebags is just mean. You’ve insulted others for other reasons. People call others losers, sluts, assholes, and so on. More importantly to you, if you’ve ever insulted someone or thought about it, which covers everyone on the[…] Keep reading →

Today’s post approaches the recent NSA surveillance revelations from a systems-theory perspective. The reasons basketball players are tall imply consequences to our government. A high-level systems perspective leaves out details, some of which may be more important than this post gives credit for. I’m not saying it’s the only perspective, but I consider it important and relevant. Please feel free to comment if you feel I missed something important. Why[…] Keep reading →

If you’ve read my social skills exercises series you know I avoid asking people what they do for a living. Instead I make meaningful connections about what people care about. An interesting side-effect of creating relationships based on what people care about instead of asking the same what-do-you-do-where-are-you-from-how-many-brothers-and-sisters-do-you-have-read-any-good-books-lately questions that get the same thoughtless answers is that sometimes I develop deep friendships with people never knowing what they do for[…] Keep reading →

Once you start putting your food scraps in a separate container from your trash, you can’t go back to filling landfills with what could create topsoil and healthier food. Once you start composting, the amount you throw away decreases yet more — after you presumably started recycling, after you presumably reduced your consumption. You become more aware of food packaging you can’t compost. I’ve noticed that the less healthy a[…] Keep reading →

I re-watched The Grand Illusion last night for the first time in a long time. My main measure for movie quality is do I like watching it more each time I watch it or less. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind I like more each time. Most romantic comedies I like less each time. (Curiously, I find I like Star Wars both more and less each time.) The Grand Illusion[…] Keep reading →

Brought to you by the Distinguished Leaders committee of the Columbia Business School Alumni Club of New York (copying the following announcement from that site): Leadership Through Self-Awareness and Emotional Intelligence In a weekend, learn how to develop your personal leadership skills, self-awareness, and emotional intelligence through the latest advances in cognitive behavioral science, evolutionary psychology, and positive psychology. While business schools and corporations are increasingly focusing on personal leadership,[…] Keep reading →

People complain about pain and exhaustion like they’re bad, but I find them sometimes the best feelings I know. As you know, I’m registered for this year’s marathon. A couple months ago I hurt my ankle and couldn’t run for a while. Yesterday I decided to run four or five miles for the first time. I felt great. So great I decided to run along the Hudson River all the[…] Keep reading →

You probably write better emails than I do. I’ve been getting better and thought I’d share a process that’s helped me improve. It came from experience and I thought about it writing an email just now. I wrote today’s post secondarily to show how to improve emails if you write like I do before the last step, but primarily to illustrate a mindset: My mindset when communicating with others: To[…] Keep reading →

New York City is having the most mild summer I can remember. We’ve barely hit ninety degrees and that was at least a month ago. Since then we’ve had cool, spring-like weather most of the summer. The other evening walking with friends, I noticed how loud the sounds of window air conditioners were in the small streets of the West Village. The temperature and humidity outside couldn’t have been more[…] Keep reading →