I’ve almost finished recording the audio for an online course in many of the exercises I’ve posted here. I expect many people will find doing it a life-changing experience (like they will with my next seminar, this Saturday in Soho). I had been planning to make the course for a long time, thinking of how to write the perfect text and organize it all. I wasn’t creating anything. Then a[…] Keep reading →

Since my posts, “The smallest effective difference” and “Minimum effective behavior,” I’ve meant to write an exercise in using less. The day after Thanksgiving,when people tend to consume more than they want, seems timely. As usual, the point of an exercise is partly for the immediate outcome, but mainly to develop new skills. New skills change your behavior and beliefs in the long term. So while the exercise may seem[…] Keep reading →

As much as I advise people not to do it, I catch myself relying on willpower when it won’t work all the time. Willpower is when you do something counter to what your emotional system motivates you to do. If you put a chocolate bar in front of someone who loves chocolate, their motivational system makes them want to eat it. If they are trying to avoid sugar, it takes[…] Keep reading →

Continuing my series of alternative responses to the New York Times column, The Ethicist, looking at the consequences of one’s actions instead of imposing values on others, here is a take on today’s post,”Sorry, No One’s Sitting There.” When my wife and I go to the movies, I typically buy a third reserved seat so I can keep the seat next to me empty. I prefer — but by no[…] Keep reading →

Continuing my series on responses to the New York Times column, The Ethicist, looking at the consequences of one’s actions instead of imposing values on them, here is a take on today’s post,”What if an Athlete Wants to Bet on Himself?“ An athlete who bets against his team — or himself — clearly has a conflict of interest in the outcome of the game. It’s not obvious to me, however,[…] Keep reading →

Continuing my series on responses to the New York Times column, The Ethicist, looking at the consequences of one’s actions instead of imposing values on them, here is a take on an earlier post,”Why Can’t I Clean My Boyfriend’s House for Pay?” About a year ago, I moved into my boyfriend’s house in a new city. I’m renting out my old house for income as I look for work. I[…] Keep reading →

Continuing my series on responses to the New York Times column, The Ethicist, looking at the consequences of one’s actions instead of imposing values on them, here is a take on an earlier post,”Is It Wrong to Divulge a Secret to Protect Someone’s Honor?” I’m an expat living in a country where H.I.V./AIDS is a severe taboo. My friend, also an expat, was diagnosed with H.I.V. while living here. She[…] Keep reading →

[I wrote a new introduction to my SIDCHA series. I’m happy enough with it to share it as a regular post.] Most people seem to want improve themselves, personally or professionally. Reading, watching, and listening to people tell you how you can develop yourself professionally or personally doesn’t change anything beyond give you a bit of information. People don’t succeed because they have more information. They succeed because they act.[…] Keep reading →

Continuing my series on responses to the New York Times column, The Ethicist, looking at the consequences of one’s actions instead of imposing values on them, here is my take on today’s post, “Is It Cheating to Compete Against Younger Runners?” I am a 60-year-old competitive distance runner who likes to win. Typically, races group runners by age and sex to balance competition. But senior runners often outperform younger runners.[…] Keep reading →