Continuing my series on responses to the New York Times column, The Ethicist, looking at the consequences of one’s actions instead of imposing values on them, here is a take on an earlier post,”Why Can’t I Clean My Boyfriend’s House for Pay?” About a year ago, I moved into my boyfriend’s house in a new city. I’m renting out my old house for income as I look for work. I[…] Keep reading →

Continuing my series on responses to the New York Times column, The Ethicist, looking at the consequences of one’s actions instead of imposing values on them, here is a take on an earlier post,”Is It Wrong to Divulge a Secret to Protect Someone’s Honor?” I’m an expat living in a country where H.I.V./AIDS is a severe taboo. My friend, also an expat, was diagnosed with H.I.V. while living here. She[…] Keep reading →

[I wrote a new introduction to my SIDCHA series. I’m happy enough with it to share it as a regular post.] Most people seem to want improve themselves, personally or professionally. Reading, watching, and listening to people tell you how you can develop yourself professionally or personally doesn’t change anything beyond give you a bit of information. People don’t succeed because they have more information. They succeed because they act.[…] Keep reading →

Continuing my series on responses to the New York Times column, The Ethicist, looking at the consequences of one’s actions instead of imposing values on them, here is my take on today’s post, “Is It Cheating to Compete Against Younger Runners?” I am a 60-year-old competitive distance runner who likes to win. Typically, races group runners by age and sex to balance competition. But senior runners often outperform younger runners.[…] Keep reading →

There is a one-hundred percent chance I will work out this morning. It’s raining. I’m cold. I’m hungry. I have a lot of work to do. I have emails to catch up on. So many distractions. How do I know I’m going to exercise? Because I put on the lycra shorts I wear when I row on the rowing machine and every time I wear them I row. They aren’t[…] Keep reading →

It’s Friday night. You planned to meet some friends for a night out. You haven’t seen them in a long time and looked forward to it. But this week at work was exhausting. Most weeks like this you’d just want to sit on the couch, relax, and take it easy. You feel like you have no energy. Do you go out? Some people feel like hanging out with friends will[…] Keep reading →

Two readers asked similar questions about yesterday’s post, “Risks in relationships, rock-climbing, and ratcheting,” on confirming the status of a relationship and how that’s like anchoring yourself while rock climbing. One reader wrote: I like the analogy. Could you give an example of checking in with people and dynamic relationship? Dynamic meaning continuous interaction and keeping in touch? Asking someone how they feel about something is checking in, yes? Another[…] Keep reading →