Continuing my series on responses to the New York Times column, The Ethicist, looking at the consequences of one’s actions instead of imposing values on them, here is a take on an earlier post, “Sketched Out on the Subway“. I was sitting next to someone on the subway who was surreptitiously sketching portraits of fellow commuters. I once spotted someone opposite me doing this, and actually changed cars when I[…] Keep reading →

Continuing my series on responses to the New York Times column, The Ethicist, looking at the consequences of one’s actions instead of imposing values on them, here is a take on an earlier post, “But I Didn’t Know Filming Fights Was Wrong!“. At my high school, two students were expelled for getting into a fight wherein a teacher was injured. In addition, two students who filmed the fight — and[…] Keep reading →

Continuing yesterday’s series on responses to the New York Times column, The Ethicist, looking at the consequences of one’s actions instead of imposing values on them, here is a take on an earlier post, “Accounting Principles“. My spouse and I earn too much to contribute to a Roth I.R.A. Recently, we learned that it is legal to contribute to a traditional I.R.A. and then convert it into a Roth. My[…] Keep reading →

The New York Times has a column called The Ethicist, where people write to ask for judgment and advice. Though I find the writing generally fun and light, I find the premise—that someone else has more access than you to values, implied to be absolute—undermines people considering their options, considering their values, developing their social skills, developing their empathy and compassion skills, and so on. I see that perspective as[…] Keep reading →

How do you promote yourself for a promotion? When you want a role on a project, how do you suggest you’d be great for the role? Promote too much and you risk sounding insecure, presumptuous, inauthentic, or like you’re bragging. Promote too little and you risk not getting the role. Talking with one of my clients yesterday, when I described how I successfully promoted myself to a recent project, she[…] Keep reading →

I compiled most of my posts on cold showers into a series so you can easily read them at once. Click here to read it. If you think they’re crazy, try them. At least start by reading the series. I couldn’t imagine them being helpful before trying them, but I think they’re incredible now.

Sometimes I find myself having to push hard on a project that seems like it would benefit everyone, but it doesn’t happen. My hard work goes nowhere. I’ve learned that if I have to push hard on something I think people would like, I’m probably looking at it ineffectively. Usually, I realize I’m trying to get people to see things my way when there are other ways of looking at[…] Keep reading →

Today’s exercise builds on the one in my post, “An exercise in knowing your beliefs; so you can change them,” so please do that one first. It’s easier for most people, more general, and develops skills that you can use for this post’s exercise. Still, you can do this on its own if you want. It also looks similar to, but is subtly different from, the recent exercise, “An exercise[…] Keep reading →

Today’s exercise builds on the one in my post, “An exercise in knowing your beliefs; so you can change them,” so please do that one first. It’s easier for most people, more general, and develops skills that you can use for this post’s exercise. Still, you can do this on its own if you want. It also looks similar to, but is subtly different from, yesterday’s exercise, “An exercise to[…] Keep reading →