I love a surprise birthday party. I love to surprise friends with good news. I once surprised a girlfriend with a Tiffany’s necklace. All great experiences. I love surprises with friends. In business I strive not to surprise anyone I work with (competitors I like to surprise)– not with news I think they don’t want to hear, nor with news I think they do want to hear. When I figure[…] Keep reading →

Following up yesterday’s advice to a client, here is advice I gave to another client who was working on an independent program I’ve found helpful (again, edited for anonymity). I think what I wrote could help anyone starting a long-term project, especially before you can see the light at the end of the tunnel, so I’m sharing it here. (Regular readers will note it resonates with the quotes in my[…] Keep reading →

Do you have a great passion? Something you devote several hours a day four to six days per week for twenty years? Something where pain and injury makes you like it more? If you have something like that, you’ll know what playing Ultimate Frisbee meant to me. If not, you’ll have to imagine. And I hope you some day build yourself a passion for something like I did for Ultimate.[…] Keep reading →

I overheard some people talking about another group as “douchebags” with “popped collars” who called everyone “bro” or “brah.” Okay, I get that some people can find others annoying, but to call them douchebags is just mean. You’ve insulted others for other reasons. People call others losers, sluts, assholes, and so on. More importantly to you, if you’ve ever insulted someone or thought about it, which covers everyone on the[…] Keep reading →

You probably write better emails than I do. I’ve been getting better and thought I’d share a process that’s helped me improve. It came from experience and I thought about it writing an email just now. I wrote today’s post secondarily to show how to improve emails if you write like I do before the last step, but primarily to illustrate a mindset: My mindset when communicating with others: To[…] Keep reading →

I’ll share today an unexpected and curious way to tell how much intimacy you have with someone and an effective way to increase it. By intimacy, I mean any kind of intimacy, which could be in a professional, friendly, romantic, or any other type of relationship. Intimacy increases trust and decreases friction between people so it’s valuable to have. Knowing how much you have tells you how closely you can[…] Keep reading →

Today’s post is a new exercise I made up that I found improved my thought patterns. It’s simple and takes no time, money, or other resources. Just your attention. It combines three things that work for me: changing words to change you thoughts, celebrating what you accept, and a property about truth. Ingredient 1: changing words changes your thoughts I’ve written about simple exercises to change a few words here[…] Keep reading →