Continuing my series of alternative responses to the New York Times column, The Ethicists, looking at the consequences of one’s actions instead of imposing values on others, here is a take on today’s post,”Do You Tell a Friend His Daughter Is Sexually Active?” A man told me he was approached by his best friend’s daughter, a minor, who confided that she and her boyfriend had become sexually active. She wanted[…] Keep reading →

You have opinions about race, sex, homosexuality, class, politics, and other controversial topics. You probably only talk about them with people closest to you. Most of us won’t touch them with a ten-foot pole, knowing how one public statement can destroy a life. We believe we don’t have that freedom. If you don’t believe you have it, you can’t do it. How about talking about them to the media for[…] Keep reading →

Yesterday I compared emotions to fire and pain—things we don’t enjoy feeling but we can use to improve our lives if we know how to use them. Calling them negative leads us to suppress and deny them—the opposite of self-awareness—which takes away our ability to improve our lives. I call that counterproductive. I think sharp knives might make a more helpful analogy. I might call sharp knives negative if I[…] Keep reading →

People describe anger, depression, and many other emotions as negative or bad, as if they don’t want them in their lives. They’re useful! They motivate you to change what causes them, generally things in your environments and beliefs. What causes them is conflict between yourself and others, internal conflict, and wanting the world to change, mainly. As long as conflict exists, which is forever since no one shares your interests[…] Keep reading →

People don’t always behave consistently with the world. Why not? Because they don’t see the world perfectly, they see it filtered through their beliefs and the limitations of their perception. They certainly don’t always behave consistently with your perception of the world. Why not? Because their beliefs and yours differ. They don’t even behave consistently with what they say their beliefs are. Why not? Because when people communicate, they mix[…] Keep reading →

Nowadays that GNU/Linux just works and Apple doesn’t, at least from what my friends tell me about their laptops and phones, it’s simple to get a computer running on GNU/Linux. It wasn’t always that way. In 1996, when I first installed GNU/Linux on a computer, it took weeks to figure out how. By contrast, a recent time I installed it on a laptop, the guy with the laptop remarked that[…] Keep reading →

A reader who decided to take on a month of cold showers updated me half way through. Note how the benefits endure for a long time and affect many parts of her life while the discomfort lasts only a few minutes. That’s a great trade if you ask me. Here’s what she wrote: So far, so good.  I’m not sure I had any specific expectations regarding the experience to start. […] Keep reading →

Continuing my series of alternative responses to the New York Times column, The Ethicists, looking at the consequences of one’s actions instead of imposing values on others, here is a take on today’s post,”Can I Shop at Hobby Lobby?” I am an inveterate crafter — I have a crafting room — but ever since the Hobby Lobby decision, I have studiously avoided its stores despite my deep and abiding love[…] Keep reading →

If you like my perspective on being human and our place in the world, I recommend watching the videos of James Burke from BBC. They’re mostly available on YouTube. I first saw his series Connections and The Day The Universe Changed in the 80s on PBS. I watch them again periodically. His work is some of the few I find I like watching repeats as much as the original. I[…] Keep reading →