The subtlety and nuance of ordinary life has more than enough to compel it without all the drama that most TV and movies add. Even sitting still for ten minutes is more excitement than most people can handle. The scene below from Girl With a Pearl Earing puts more intimacy, vulnerability, and sexuality into the slightest movement of a hand. The sensuality of mixing paints, the eye contact, and the[…] Keep reading →

After my series of posts lamenting the overdramatization of TV and movie dramas that misrepresent regular life (part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5) and after loving Woody Allen movies for decades, I watched Hannah and Her Sisters for the first time. The movie reminded me what art can express when you aren’t trying to make everything jump off the screen. I can see why Roger Ebert called it Allen’s best[…] Keep reading →

A reader asked for follow-up on how media shows leadership, following three posts from a couple weeks ago—This is not leadership. It makes people think it is and that’s part of why we have poor leaders, part 1; part 2; part 3; and Learning about relationships ruins most movies and TV. Before the questions, I don’t want to overstate what I know about relationships and how media shows them, so[…] Keep reading →

It seems standard today to eat lunch in front of the computer. I do it a lot too. Many people love their work, love eating, and are combining things they love. That makes sense to me. But many people don’t love their work. They consider it a necessity to pay rent and support themselves. Many of them consider working for others their lives’ fundamental activity—as in, when someone asks what[…] Keep reading →

Continuing my series of alternative responses to the New York Times column, The Ethicists, looking at the consequences of one’s actions instead of imposing values on others, here is my take on today’s post, “Do Another Woman’s Marriage Vows Bind Me?” A single woman, I moved to a new town and became friendly with a married man who then told me that he was romantically interested in me. He said[…] Keep reading →

My pasts three posts were about how media misrepresents leadership like juvenile fantasies of beating people who disagree with you. If you don’t know how to lead, you might enjoy the drama of the misrepresentations, but you risk retarding your growth. It’s deeper than just leadership. Movies and TV dramatize and misrepresent nearly all relationships. The more I learn about relationships… Well, for one thing the more my life improves.[…] Keep reading →

“Just do what I say.” “Do it now.” “John, do X. Sally, do Y. I’ll do Z. Then we’ll met and put everything together.” Wouldn’t leadership be easy if we could tell everyone what to do and they’d do it? It never seems to work like that, though, does it? Most people understand that problems come up. They don’t always realize that command-and-control leadership often discourages people from working with[…] Keep reading →

“You don’t understand me!” “I wish I’d never been born!” Who hasn’t yelled something like that at their parents? I’m sure I did. I argued with my parents like all kids. I’ve grown since then and don’t argue like that any more. I still disagree, I just try more to seek understanding, not to confront so adversarially. I was just in a line and overheard two workers argue. They weren’t[…] Keep reading →

In March I performed a story at Stand Up For Passion, a growing series of events where people tell stories about passionate events in their lives. They posted the video of my story and here it is. I hope you like it. The events are happening increasingly all over the world. The next one in New York City is October 6. I recommend attending one. Here are the speakers from[…] Keep reading →