People considering personal change often express concern about losing friends. If they change their behavior and habits they won’t be able to hang out with the same people in the same way any more. I’ve gone through a lot of personal change. I’ve met many people who have. I’ve coached many people through it. Through it all, I’ve never met someone who regretted changing their social circle. Most wished they’d[…] Keep reading →
My professor cursed: “You’re too fucking cheap to buy my book?!” This was an Ivy League business school. I was stunned. Class just ended and I was asking him a question, as students do. Other students probably heard as they packed their bags and left the room. He had assigned his own book for the class. A couple weeks before, the bookstore clerk told me the book would come out[…] Keep reading →
I used to think the best way to strengthen a relationship was to avoid problems. Now I think differently. No two people agree on everything. Everyone has different values. Between every pair of people there will inevitably be conflict. More than that, you can never predict where or when the conflict will arise until it does. In other words, relationships have problems. Trying to avoid them is a fool’s errand.[…] Keep reading →
[This post is part of a series on Communication Skills Exercises for Business and Life. If you don’t see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you’ll get more value than reading just this post.] I just got off the phone with a client who was preparing for a call with someone important to help her. She was nervous because of his status[…] Keep reading →
Today’s world presents leaders leading a group of people like a king or glorious leader, like Mel Gibson in Braveheart. It inspires people to seek that glorious position where they feel people look up to them. We misunderstand that view, the more I think about it. When armies went into battle then, the first person charging took the biggest risk. He made himself most vulnerable to attack, risking his life.[…] Keep reading →
I trust you know the value of a mentor. I’ll take for granted you also know how to create a connection with someone. If not, read my Meaningful Connection exercise and my social skills exercise series. So I’ll start at a point where you have at least a rudimentary dialog with someone whose mentorship will help you. Step 1: Ask them for advice Ask them for advice on something that[…] Keep reading →
Most people who love The Godfather 1 and 2 dislike the third because of the director’s daughter in a lead role, saying they don’t like her acting. I find the closing scene completes the story beautifully. What do I find so beautiful about this scene? It wordlessly communicates most of the themes of the series—family, women, men, intimacy, solitude, winning, America, and Sicily—with subtlety and complexity. I can’t put into[…] Keep reading →