Blaming other people is effective at solving problems if you can change other people and you can go back in time to change the past. For the rest of us, blame is effective at polarizing others against you and undermining relationships. If that’s your goal, I recommend it. It’s also effective at making you feel self-righteous and superior, until the polarization kicks in and you feel alienated or like you[…] Keep reading →

My friend, visiting from overseas, described the difficulty we all feel away from home when we can’t do the morning routine we like. Nearly everyone has a morning routine that starts their day right for them. I see a higher-level strategy: if something happens regularly, habitualize it. I love discovering things, but I don’t see any benefit in trying to discover a new ordering between showering, eating breakfast, brushing my[…] Keep reading →

Sorry to digress from leadership, meaning, value, importance, purpose, passion, burpees, and such. Time for one of my diversions: 2048! This will bore anyone who doesn’t play, but it’s one of my ways to relax. I got my high score and reached the 16348 tile. Plus I wrote a funny poem about my time on it. Anyway, here’s an animation of a few points with high-numbered tiles followed by combining[…] Keep reading →

My next seminar is March 1, two weeks from yesterday! It’s with the Columbia Business School Alumni Club, but it’s open to everyone. That means two things. First, you save money because they capped the price below recent seminars. Second, you get phenomenal classmates. Columbia alumni are knowledgeable but inquisitive, experienced yet curious, accomplished yet humble. In other words, they help everyone learn and perform at their best. Here’s the[…] Keep reading →

Continuing my series of alternative responses to the New York Times column, The Ethicist, looking at the consequences of one’s actions instead of imposing values on others, here is a take on today’s post, “Dorm Wrecker.” I’m a woman who lives in an on-campus apartment with three male roommates, one of whom was just nominated to run for president of his fraternity. If he is elected, he will be required[…] Keep reading →

A reader suggested an answer that made sense for why people like my fast articles—“Why do readers like the posts I write the fastest so much?“—that they may result from my Voice Your Self-Talk exercise. I love that exercise, though it’s one of my harder social skill exercises. Clients who try it take a long time to get it and I don’t think you can if you don’t do the[…] Keep reading →

I finally compiled the series of posts that became my book ReModel. I reordered and edited everything for the book for reading and learning, but most of the text is here. Click here to go to the series. The series describes and expands around an exercise to write your mental models and beliefs. I’ve found the exercise helpful for increasing your awareness—your mental models and beliefs influence your perception of[…] Keep reading →

[EDIT February 2020: I gathered, edited, and compiled all the posts I listed below into my book ReModel, which I recommend if you prefer a more curated experience with less clicking. Either way, I recommend doing the exercise. It gives a new way of seeing the world that costs nothing and takes little time.] This series covers my doing my Write Your Beliefs exercise, which I’ve found one of the[…] Keep reading →

I responded to some questions from someone practicing “The most effective self-awareness exercise I know” and thought the answers would help others doing the exercise. Or might help motivate people to try it if they haven’t. I think it makes sense without the question. I’ll check with the person practicing about including the question. Here’s what I wrote: The feeling that you don’t have anything to write or that your[…] Keep reading →