Willpower, part II: what it is

[This post is part of a series on willpower and how to understand and use it. If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] Understanding willpower requires understanding emotions functionally, so let's start there. A functional perspective isn't the only way to view emotions -- exploring and communicating how they feel is another, more relevant to art and music, for example -- but it serves our purposes. I'll stick with it, but I don't mean to imply other perspectives aren't important in other contexts. Emotions, functionally Functionally, emotions motivate you to interact with and change your environment. They also result from your environment, subject to your…

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Willpower, part I: what is it, when to use it, and how

[This post is part of a series on willpower and how to understand and use it. If you don't see a Table of Contents to the left, click here to view the series, where you'll get more value than reading just this post.] I'll be starting what I expect to be a four or five part series on willpower. The series should give an understanding of what willpower is and how to use it more and more effectively to improve your life. Everyone generally knows what willpower is. Some people value being able to use willpower to overcome great challenges. Some people don't know how to use it at all. In all cases, we want to be able to use it more effectively than we…

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I have low standards the first time

This post on doing things you love even if you're not good at it prompted discussion -- or at least people asking me about doing things that feel scary or are hard. For most people, the challenges are internal. Most people aren't risking health and safety doing something like climbing Everest -- they're thinking of trying out for that senior position, singing karaoke, going to a gym for the first time, or asking that guy or girl out. Their risking losing social standing -- aka embarrassing themselves. Why people don't try new things Their biggest fears are based on beliefs of imagined futures. People don't predict the future effectively, all the more when projecting fearfully, so they tend to project worst case scenarios. Even if…

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Best solo workout I know

I've been loving the rowing machine I bought last fall, but I've been waiting to use it six months before posting about it to make sure its value endured a reasonable time. I'm going to write about my experience with it, but if anyone has other experiences, please let me know because I'm still new to it and would love to learn more. This is the one I bought (used, half price, on Craig's List). I normally don't endorse workouts or machines -- I've never bought one before -- but I am happy with this thing and the workout it gives. If your gym has one and you don't use it, give it a shot. Even if you do something else to keep in shape,…

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Parsons student linear zoetrope videos

Here are videos of the final non-digital linear zoetropes made by the students in Parsons Submedia collaboration studio in the spring of 2011. The students are superstars. The students' next step will be the display in Union Square, so stay tuned. I took all the videos with my low quality camera phone. More videos are at the course blog. First the grand tour of all the zoetropes in the Arts, Media, and Technology department -- i.e., the tenth floor. https://joshuaspodek.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/grand_tour_tenth_floor_zoetropes.avi The linear zoetropes downstairs facing Fifth Avenue and 13th Street at night. https://joshuaspodek.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/5th_and_13th_night.avi The linear zoetropes downstairs facing Fifth Avenue and 13th Street during the daytime. https://joshuaspodek.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/5th_and_13th_day.avi linear zoetropes that were downstairs back upstairs.   Group 1's linear zoetrope -- the Unicorn.   Group 2's…

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Observations on Flow, part II: two improvements
Emotional state resulting from level of challenge and skill

Observations on Flow, part II: two improvements

Following yesterday's primer on flow, here are two simple ideas to bring more flow. If you've read only Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi's book, they may be new. The Wikipedia page on flow but not Csikszentmihalyi's book covers the first. The second is new, as far as I know, though small. Recall the ten conditions of the flow state (from Wikipedia, citing Csikszentmihalyi articles): Clear goals (expectations and rules are discernible and goals are attainable and align appropriately with one’s skill set and abilities). Moreover, the challenge level and skill level should both be high. Concentrating, a high degree of concentration on a limited field of attention (a person engaged in the activity will have the opportunity to focus and to delve deeply into it). A loss of…

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Observations on Flow, part I

Do you remember the last time you felt like this musician? You are in an ecstatic state to such a point that you feel as if you almost don't exist. I have experienced this time and again. My hand seems devoid of myself, and I have nothing to do with what is happening. I just sit there watching it in a state of awe and wonderment. And [the music] just flows out of itself. We all know the feeling. We love it. It's one of the great states of being. It comes through many ways -- sports, hobbies, work, conversation, etc. A psychologist, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, studied that state and called it flow, now established as a something to be studied and understood. I figure most…

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Silly joke

My friend Zan posted: "Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum sonatur. (Translation: Whatever is said in Latin sounds profound)" I responded: "ateverwhay isway aidsay inway igpay atinlay oundssay etardedray."

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Another friend wins writing award

Alex Kudera's first novel won an Independent Publishers Book Awards award -- the IPPY Gold Medal for Best Fiction. I wrote about him and his book, Fight For Your Long Day, a couple months ago. He's planning to give a reading in New York this summer. Who knows how fast his star will rise? Congratulations Alex!

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A beautiful spring day in my neighborhood

Saturday was such a beautiful day I couldn't resist walking in the park across the street from my building, making me late to meet my sister and nephew in Queens. The park is tiny but beautifully maintained by neighbors. It has a small walking path around it. The pictures in the slide show below follow my view walking around the path, sometimes looking forward, sometimes backward, sometimes toward the middle. It also turned out to be one of the biannual Jefferson Market Gardens Children's Festival of Flowers, so there were extra flowers, families, etc. My sister and nephew came back and enjoyed the park too. Until we got hungry, made nachos at my place, and ate them on my roof. Here's the slide show: Update:…

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More thoughts on “Where you get energy”

Two thoughts to follow up my post from two days ago: Where you get energy. First, after mentioning I was mystified by people who used the same excuses not to dance that I used to dance, I should mention that before my dancing friends got me to go dancing the first time, I would have used any excuse to avoid dancing too. I didn't know how to dance and was afraid of being judged. I'm like everybody else, of course. I had to get over those fears too. Overcoming them once improved my life in one area. Generalizing that result to realize overcoming fears around things I loved brought me my greatest joys improved my life everywhere. Second, after mentioning the energy you feel has…

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If you love it, do it even if you aren’t good at it

"I love to do X, but I'm not good at it" or "I think I'd love X, but I can't do it." Such common excuses not to do something. People just stop thinking or motivating themselves after saying that. Result? Even as they watch others have the times of their lives, they don't sing, they don't go to the gym, they don't dance, they don't get on stage, they don't ask for the promotion, they don't ask out the girl or the guy, they don't rock climb, ... They deprive themselves of things they would love. I can't think of anything you'd want to do less than avoid something you love. If you have a reason that makes sense -- like you're allergic to some…

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Where you get energy

Want to have more energy to do things? I'll demonstrate how how much energy you have to do something rarely has to do with how much energy you have. When I used to go dancing every Friday night I would look forward to the excitement of seeing friends, listening to great music, dressing up, etc. The friends I went out with looked forward to it too. I was mystified by people who would say they were tired at the end of the week and as a result didn't want to go dance. The exact reason motivating my friends and me -- to release, have fun, meet people -- demotivated them. How much energy you have to do something depends more than anything else on the…

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Sometimes working harder is easier

The summer after high school, my friend Tuan and I rode our bikes from Philadelphia to Bar Harbor, Maine and back, about 1,500 miles. We were both sixteen at the time. The trip was amazing -- not that I remember many details anymore... quite an independent experience for kids that age. Everything went great. An amazing growth experience. We mostly found random places to camp, but also stayed in back yards, farms, parks, ... even a home for runaways when we were stuck in Poughkeepsie (finding free places to stay in cities was harder and it was hard to cross the Hudson otherwise). Anyway, I'm writing today to share a lesson I learned then that has stuck with me ever since. One day we were…

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Vipassana Meditation

A reader emailed me about mindfulness and self-awareness. I mentioned to him a meditation retreat I did a few years ago and found an old post I wrote about the experience, answering another reader's questions about the course. I did a ten day Vipassana course a few years ago. What it's about: It teaches you a meditation technique and gives you the time and space to practice it. It's based on buddhist beliefs. We meditated for 8-10 hours per day for ten days. That's basically it. You aren't supposed to read, write, gesture, etc, except to ask the instructor questions. They provide food and instruction on what to focus on. Was it hard: Yes, it was hard. The first couple days were painful while getting…

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A vegetarian entrepreneur’s take on test tube meat

This week's New Yorker has an article on test tube meat -- that is, meat produced outside a body. I've been talking about it for a while, as someone who doesn't eat meat and as an entrepreneur. I'm looking forward to reading the article. I first read about the idea on a nerdy site called Slashdot a couple years ago. Technology recently made it possible. I think most people's reaction is that it makes them queasy. It can't be that palatable, right? Then people think of the ethical issues -- is it cruel or not? Are we doing something we shouldn't? To me these issues are clear. Whether it's palatable or not now is merely an engineering question and a matter of time. If it…

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Venture Capital myths

For those who appreciated my series on entrepreneurial myths and productive behaviors, my friend and business school classmate, Ian Sigalow, posted on myths in venture capital, in particular "The Myth of the Board Seat." Ian is an all-too-rare person who is successful at both entrepreneurship and venture capital. In school he got one of the most desired positions, working with Alan Patricof (also Columbia MBA) to found Greycroft Partners, where he is now a Partner, to work on smaller and earlier deals than Alan's Apax Partners had come to work on. His observation and advice, as you'd expect, is thoughtful and useful, in a field known for too much of the opposite. Oh yeah, we also did Follies together, which says he's a great guy…

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Don’t be like a cheetah running into a wall

Every species has a few traits that give it advantages over any other. Cheetahs have their speed, for example. As far as I know they're the fastest animals on land. We have our intelligence, among other things. As far as I know, we're the most intelligent animal on land. Like other species with their traits, we have been using our intelligence to help us survive. We've been doing so for millions of years. So many people get so stressed over what they view as the complications of life or their lives. As I wrote recently, life is no more or less complicated than you believe it is. Everyone does what they think is best at the time -- as does every living creature. Some people…

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What’s wrong with “making the world a better place”?

Can you think of anyone who isn't trying to make the world a better place in his or her own way? The statement means nothing if everyone says it. And effectively everyone does. Think of the worst people you can. Weren't they trying to make the world a better place, in their minds at least? You can say how wrong these terrible people were, but in their minds they weren't wrong, they were right. In their minds you're wrong and they're right. And no matter how much you appeal to a foundation they can't  -- scripture, your notion of human nature, human life, whatever -- they can appeal to some other foundation that for them is equally absolute. They can also claim your absolutes are…

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Are you being judgmental without realizing?, part IV

Following up my previous post in this thread, I forgot a few judgmental words and some tips on avoiding sounding judgmental. The judgmental words see frequent usage: Should Ought to Impressed A friend once said "there are very few shoulds in life." I found his observation helpful. I have found avoiding telling people what they should or shouldn't do helpful. When you say someone should do something they aren't doing, you're advising them based on your values. If they asked for your advice, you're probably helping them. If you haven't, you're probably judging. On to the tips. In the first exercise of the last post, I offered alternatives to judgmental language. Here is some clarification. Many (most?) of the time someone says something is right…

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Your life is no more complicated than anyone else’s

"Josh, I really want to do X, but I can't. Things are too complicated right now." "I'm so stressed because my life is so complicated right now." "I wish my life were simpler so I could enjoy it." "So-and-so is making my life complicated!" We've all heard it before. Most of us have probably said it. Complication is like beauty -- a subjective opinion of the observer -- not like height or weight, which you can measure and remeasure. Your mental model of the situation -- your belief -- influences your perception, leading you to see something as complicated or simple. Change your model -- that is, change your belief -- and you'll perceive things to be as simple as you want them. Try this…

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Thinking about business school?

An entrepreneurial friend asked about business school. I shared the following with him and thought it might be useful for others. As long as it is, I could have written more. I got an MBA at Columbia. It was one of the best decisions of my life -- different than I expected, because I expected an academic experience. I did it after starting a business in the early 2000's. Some people do fine without formal business training. I did well up to a point -- getting the project started, getting people onto the team as employees, investors, suppliers, etc. But I had little to no experience in some important basics: accounting, how to read financial statements, managing teams, and a few other things. Business school…

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My next leadership seminar: June 4 and 5 at the New School (jointly with Columbia Business School)

(Some details TBD, but mark your calendars. The room is beautiful and centrally located. Please contact me with any questions. I'll update details as they are determined.)   LEADERSHIP THROUGH SELF-AWARENESS AND EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE At a time when businesses and business schools seek to learn from designers and design schools seek to prepare "students to be leaders in their professions and society", cross-pollination between communities over common interests is as valuable as ever. Personal leadership skills, self-awareness, and emotional intelligence have emerged as common and fundamental to both communities. In a weekend, learn how to develop these skills using recent advances in cognitive behavioral science, evolutionary psychology, and positive psychology in group including the communities of the world's premier business and design schools. Schedule: Day…

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