Relationships

Continuing my series of alternative responses to the New York Times column, The Ethicists, looking at the consequences of one's actions instead of imposing values on others, here is my take on today's post, "Can I Call My Nonbiological Twins Black Because My Husband Is?" I'm a Caucasian woman married to an African-American man. Shortly after we married, I discovered that I couldn't conceive my own biological children. We opted to ''adopt'' two embryos. (Couples who have successfully undergone in-vitro fertilization and don't wish to have more children can donate remaining embryos to other couples.) I was soon pregnant and gave birth to twins. Based on the records of the fertility clinic, we know that our children are genetically mixed Hispanic and Caucasian. I am…

Continuing my series of alternative responses to the New York Times column, The Ethicists, looking at the consequences of one's actions instead of imposing values on others, here is my take on today's post, "Should I Tell My Friend's Husband That She's Having an Affair?" I am a man (if it matters) and friends with a married woman, ''Jane,'' and her husband, ''Peter.'' The friendship is more with Jane than with Peter. Jane and I have known each other for years and work in the same profession, and I knew her before she married Peter, and I am closer to Jane. But Peter has become a friend since the marriage. Peter and I share some typically ''male'' interests and occasionally ''bro bond.'' Jane and I…

Continuing my series of alternative responses to the New York Times column, The Ethicists, looking at the consequences of one's actions instead of imposing values on others, here is my take on today's post, "How Do I Handle a Claim of Sexual Assault by a Close Friend?" Several months ago, a female friend told me that, six months earlier, a close male friend of mine sexually assaulted a female friend of hers. The alleged assault was described as clearly nonconsensual; alcohol was purportedly involved. Nothing was reported. (I am in high school and am male myself; my male friend recently graduated.) I have not contacted my previously close friend since being told of the alleged assault, but recently he reached out to me via text.…

Continuing my series of alternative responses to the New York Times column, The Ethicists, looking at the consequences of one's actions instead of imposing values on others, here is my take on today's post, "What Should an Ethicist Tell His Readers?" I've just been asked to take on a column that deals with ethical quandaries. Is there anything I should let readers know? KWAME ANTHONY APPIAH My response: The person who signed this note is the guy who is answering the questions, so this question is a cute way of the columnist saying "Here are a few words about myself I'd like you to keep in mind in my column." I would hope he would write he would disfavor judging and analyzing the past in…