Over lunch Frances described to me her background. I had wondered how she got started, why when the CEO of Ford, Alan Mulaly, gave her a car, she picked it up near Pittsburgh. She told me about growing up near there and going to the University of Pittsburgh. If I remember right, she didn’t finish. It struck me because she is yet another prominent leader who didn’t graduate college. She’s[…] Keep reading →

Frances invited me to her office. The first day I went, I approached the front desk. The security guy was friendly. As he processed my ID he said, “Oh yeah, Frances gets big visitors. Sometimes Generals come in. Four stars, ones from TV. They all have to wait for her.” Impressive! Her office is in a big Park Avenue high-rise office building in the 50s. The lobby had fifty-foot ceilings,[…] Keep reading →

“To serve is to live.” Frances Hesselbein had the fastest, clearest, most direct, and most meaningful answer of anyone I remember asking her passion. Five minutes into our pre-lunch conversation and she went right to the point. Experience and, I believe, only experience enables people to encapsulate great meaning in a minimum of words. I was immediately struck by the power and meaning in these few short words: “to serve[…] Keep reading →

Two quotes misunderstand and undervalue people, I contend: “You should get in touch with your masculine side.” “You should get in touch with your feminine side.” People say the first to women mainly, sometimes men, to imply they should learn to act more like mainstream views of men, like learning to fix things around the house, not sweating small things, and enjoying things like pizza and beer. People say the[…] Keep reading →

Talk about leading people and a lot of people will talk to you about convincing people as a way of leading them. I recommend against this strategy. Convincing someone implies logically debating. Changing someone’s behavior means changing their motivations, which means changing their emotions. Logical argument evokes emotions of debate. Convincing motivates people to disagree. They also feel like you’re trying to impose your values on them. If you disagree[…] Keep reading →

The college course catalog fascinated me—hundreds of courses in dozens of subjects from amazing teachers. I wanted to take them all! Choosing four or five course from them was wonderful torture. Choosing which to take wasn’t nearly as hard as choosing which not to. I used to think, “I’ll take these two courses … which will set me up for this major … which will set me up for this[…] Keep reading →

Continuing my series of alternative responses to the New York Times column, The Ethicists, looking at the consequences of one’s actions instead of imposing values on others, here is my take on today’s post, “How Do I Handle the Towel Saga Next Door?” On Easter Sunday, we always have an egg hunt for our neighbors and the children of our Hispanic housekeeper and yard man. This past Easter, our next-door neighbor[…] Keep reading →

If you believe you’ll never make CEO, start a company, lose weight, or any other goal, no matter how much you change your behavior to achieve it, your belief will undermine that behavior. If you’re lucky, you may stumble into an experience that changes your beliefs, which may sustain your behavior, but I wouldn’t count on it. In general, if you change behavior but not the belief that motivated the[…] Keep reading →

A friend commented on my experiment not to buy food where I’d have to throw away wrapping after, “Avoiding food packaging” and “Buying no food with packaging, eighteen days and counting.” I started doing it mainly to pollute less. He said “You know, the difference you’ll make on the world is less than a billionth of a percent?” That’s how he justified whatever behavior he does that pollutes. I responded,[…] Keep reading →